Is my boyfriend an alcoholic? What can I do?

Question

Is my boyfriend an alcoholic?
My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year and ever since we started dating, i've realized he drinks almost every night. Some nights he drinks 20-30 beers or a lot of liquor or both. He's in the navy now and when he got out of boot camp all he could talk about was drinking again. Now he's stationed and he recently told me that if he didn't have to work everyday, he would drink 7 days a week instead of just on the weekends. Thats what made me realize that he may have a drinking problem. I confronted him about this but all he did was deny it and say he was getting off the phone and when I talked to him drunk he promised me that he would talk to me about it sober but I knew that he wouldn't but I tried anyways. What should I do? I feel like I'm running out of options

well i tried being nice about it and he just went all defensive on me. and i told him not to call or text until he is ready to atleast hear where i have to say. is that being to harsh? i just want him to listen to me just for once.

Answer 1

It sounds like he has a problem. A good friend of mine would drink up to 20 beers a night, and could down a fifth of whiskey on his own. He ended up with a couple of DUIs and 2 stints in rehab. The sad part is, if he doesn't want help, he isn't going to take it. If he wants to continue drinking, that's what he is going to do. Talk to him about it, but don't go at him in a bad way or he'll be defensive. Let him know how concerned you are, and ask what the two of you can do about this problem. If he is an alcholic, its going to be a long path to sobriety, so he's going to need people in his life to help him stay strong.

Answer 2

Unfortunately, there's absolutely nothing you can do. You mentioned the word denial! He's not done! Something about us alcoholics, we don't quit til we've had enough. We have to hit a bottom in our life. We'll promise our self over and over that we will quit, but we can't until we get help! That help doesn't come til we become willing! I am an "alcoholic" !! I had to realize, I was sick and tired of being sick and tired! I frequent a recovery based program on a almost daily basis.
There's only one person that can say if your boyfriend is an alcoholic............and that's himself!
It's a terrible way to live. By doing things that have been suggested to me, one day at a time, I'll never have to drink again! God Bless from a A.A. member

Answer 3

Is he drinking alone? Socially? It sounds like he probably has a drinking problem. Does his drinking directly affect your relationship and his other relationships with people in a negative way? That's a sure sign. Not necessarily physical abuse or yelling or anything. But if he's drinking alone, and would rather drink almost every single night than taking you out or doing something fun with a group of friends, then he probably has a problem. If he is completely unwilling to admit that he has a problem, he won't take any steps toward resolving it. And that is going to make your relationship unhealthy. If he is unwilling to at least hear you out and explore the idea that he might have a problem, then you're probably better off cutting your losses and breaking it off.

Answer 4

Definately sounds like an alchoholic.
20-30 beers thats crazy. If he isn't talking to you about then he is in denial. Which happens a lot. I dont think it is worth it. It's only been a year. Save yourself the trouble and get out. If he doesnt want to listen he is going to have to figure it out on his own.

Answer 5

The only option is
to dump him NOW!
Being married and tied
down to an alcoholic
will not be a nice life!!

Answer 6

Prepare for a really crappy life together, or break up and find a normal boyfriend. Do you want your kids to have a drunk for a father?