I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years. He is a great person to my kids but I look at him and don't know if I really want to get married or not. My kids say I'm dragging my feet but I was hurt really bad by their father and I am so afraid to be hurt again. I am wearing the engagement ring that he gave me but I don't know if I really want to get married again? Is that normal?
2007-10-14 11:49:24 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
of course it's NORMAL! I was married to the worthless waste of skin for 4 years.. he was 100% a monster. But i re-married several years later, and i now have 3 beautiful children with the man i love most in the world. So yes, if your NOT ready.. then don't get married. Have a good life with the one you love. Ive known of many couples who have committed life partners (hetero), who made the choice to not legally get married, but they have kids,jobs, a house, mortgage. So you do what you feel is right for you, and don't let the kids pressure you into another marriage. Good luck.
2007-10-14 11:57:59 · answer #1 · answered by navywife_2001 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You had to ask so I'd say no, you aren't ready.
When the time is right you won't need to ask or care what anybody else's answer is. It's totally normal to be a little hesitant after you have been hurt really badly and you will work through it I promise. The key is to take your time and most importantly BE HONEST with your guy. Just let him know that you love him more than anything but still havn't quite overcome that fear.
You might want to look into counseling either with a psychologist or a couple's session if you think it would help but really the WORST thing you could do right now is force yourself into a marriage you aren't sure about because that will only make the strain on your relationship worse.
2007-10-14 18:59:59 · answer #2 · answered by pspoptart 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have some serious soul searching to do. It's normal to be scared to get re-married after you've had a bad marriage.. been there and I'm now engaged to my soulmate. You need to find out if this is the person you want to marry. Not for your kids or because they want you to marry him, but for yourself. It's awesome that he's a great person for your kids, but is he a great person to you.
2007-10-14 21:03:05 · answer #3 · answered by tainted_obsession 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long have you been out of your past relationship? Sometimes we just have to let go of the past especially when we have someone right in our faces that love us and treat us right. It is normal however to have wedding jitters no matter if you have been hurt or not. If he loves you and your children he has to be a really good guy. But are you looking for a good man for them or you? You can find someone who will treat your children right but if he is not making you feel special and the way you want so you can be comfortable and happy it wont work. But it sounds like you have something good and you love him. So go for it, but only after you have gotten over your past. Baggage is the worse thing to carry into a new relationship. You have to throw out all the old and but new. Your a woman you love to shop. Shop for new memories.
2007-10-14 20:00:48 · answer #4 · answered by Model07 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not ready. It is not fair to this man for you to feel the way that you do and to still wear his ring. You might need to go speak to a counselor and get some help to get over the hurt done to you in the past. Until you resolve or find a way to come to terms with this issue you are not going to be able to move forward with your life. Maybe this man can help you, maybe not but you do owe it to him to tell the truth about your feelings.
2007-10-14 21:07:54 · answer #5 · answered by CindyLu 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its def. normal! do you really love him? if so than try not to let the affects of ur ex get in the way of how you feel. Of course your always going to have second thoughts about getting married again because u dont wanna experience the hurt again.. but than your goin to live the rest of your life with 'what if'... i think you should think long and hard about it and realize if he truly makes you happy than go for it =)
2007-10-14 19:07:52 · answer #6 · answered by dubahyew 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, it is not normal. When you are engaged you are happy and excited to get married. If you are not you need to call off the engagement and don't get married!
2007-10-14 20:46:29 · answer #7 · answered by Dance 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
2 years is nothing people live 2gether for life but don't marry.if you r not ready tell him and your children.of course u don't want 2 get hurt but make sure u don't let go a very good man .anyway think of yourself for once.
2007-10-14 19:33:52 · answer #8 · answered by chef31 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course it is. It's your past emotional hurts that's affecting your perception of marriage. You've been there and done that. Why not go for premarital counseling to make sure you've got everything covered. That might help to work out some of your nerves :)
2007-10-14 18:59:54 · answer #9 · answered by Jasmine808 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself if you love him? what would you do if he died tommorow? could you live without him? Does he love you? Would he ever ever hurt you?
2007-10-14 18:54:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋