My mom might have cancer?

Question

I'm very worried, and she thinks it's the one on your throat where you get it cut out and can't talk, or you die from it.
More over, she's been acting bitter, crying, and a bit depressed. We're not the most functional or together family, but she's blaming us, because we are irresponsible, I'll admit it.
What bothers me most is, whenever she has an infliction (like this), and she's worried about it, she won't go see a doctor! She just gripes and complains, and cries about it! I think she'd probably get mad at me if I scheduled an appointment for her (What kind of doctor?? Radiologist?), and I"m not really sure how.
I've been praying for her, and yes, we're religious. When I was going through a rough time in life, she told me to pray and ask God for help, but now, she doesn't take he own advice. I know she prays, but when I tell her that it'll be alright, that God'll take care of her, she just sighs and says, "I don't know."
I'm really worried. Any help would be much appreciated. =(

Answer 1

Your mother sounds as though she is depressed. The first thing she needs to do is see her regular doctor and if he thinks she needs to see a specialist, he will refer her to an oncologist(cancer doctor). She needs to see about getting on an anti-depressant first. This is very common today and nothing to be embarrassed about. Hang in there it will get better just when you think it's impossible!!

Answer 2

First, there is no way she can know what it is without going to a doc, which ultimatly is her decision.

You are most certainly not to blame if your mom is sick or for her feelings.

She sounds depressed and looking for attention or poss in denial. If she is in denial the thing is she can talk about it and 'think' she has cancer, but so long as she refuses a doc she doesnt really know that and doesnt have to really deal with it.

Its her choice to go to a doc or not. I would start with the family doc. Insurance will probably require referrals to see the oncologist and the tests.

Answer 3

Sounds like Mom is being manipulative. How does she know she has cancer if she won't go to the doctor? If she has gone to the doctor, why isn't she following his/her recommendations? She is an adult and as such is responsible for maintaining her own health. You are in no way responsible for any condition she has ever had or ever will have regardless of your personality flaws.

Tell Mom to poop or get off the potty. If she has cancer she needs to go to a doctor and get it taken care of. Her regular physician will do for starters. Tell her you will be there for her and help in any way you can but if she chooses not to help herself you would rather not hear any more about it.

Answer 4

Make an appointment with her regulare doctor, throw her in the car and take her there, then the doc can refer you to someone else if you need it. Tell her to buck up and that it isn't your fault she's sick. And if she won't get in the car, tell her you'll call an ambulance. Do not wait. Time can really be a factor with this sort of thing!

Answer 5

You are not responsible for your mother's help. Even if you were irresponsible, that does not make cancer. If you can get her to a regular doctor, they will make a referral to a specialist if it is needed. If she won't go, you can't do anything about it. Your mom's actions seem manipulative to me. That is not to say there isn't something going on, but it appears she uses her physical condition as a way to control you. That isn't fair.

Answer 6

Your primary care physician is your first contact. I know you love your Mom, and I know you know it is not your fault she "may" be sick. This blaming BS is how she likes to keep drama going in her life and keep you on edge and somewhat under her control (who wants to be responsible for bad things happening to someone we love). We are each responsible for ourselves once be attain legal age and no one can force us to go to a doctor or anywhere else that may be for our own good. So do what makes you comfortable. If praying is a comfort to you - it has been shown to work no matter who or what you pray to - go ahead, but there is nothing you can force your mother to do so just lay it out to her. She won't know for sure if something is wrong if she doesn't get it checked out. Her physical ailments are not caused by your behavior. She is a grown up and needs to take care of herself. Period. Up to her what she does. Good luck Chickie - don't get sucked into the dysfunction.

Answer 7

I`m sorry to hear about your mom, my grandmother died with cancer. It sure is rough, on them and you. There ain`t much you can do,if she don`t want to go to dr. God Bless You and your Mom.

Answer 8

make an appointment whatever she says!!