Can a woman ever be forgiven by society for adultery?

Question

I have spent years trying to rebuild my life after an affair, but I feel like I have the Scarlet Letter on my forehead. Why is it the woman who is branded for life and the man goes on with his life? Is there any redeption? I've asked God and man for forgiveness, yet it is always thrown in my face. I've left the church and am very angry with the Christian Fundamentalist churches. I'm tired of being beaten down after I've asked for forgiveness. It's been almost 10 years now. I'm still the topic of conversation around my 35K town. I'm not moving, my kids and grandchildren are here.

Answer 1

Too many Christians can be pure jerks when it comes to passing judgment on others. These pick-and-chose Christians conveniently ignore the teachings of Christ about 'casting stones' or about 'judging not' and they certainly seem to block out 'in God's eyes no one sin is greater than another.'

Many of these people pointing an accusing finger at you have sinned as greatly, if not more so, than you.

My advice is to find a more loving open-minded church, like a Unitarian or Presbyterian church, to go to. Never abandon your belief in God, just try to avoid the 'stone casters.'

Answer 2

Dear one,
I'm sorry you're going through such pain over a mistake you made at a weak time in your life. I'm glad you have asked forgiveness from God, that's who you should be concerned with. In regard to man, I would call together those who are dear to you, if you haven't already, and sit down and share your feelings with them. You can do nothing more than say, "I made a mistake, I've paid for it for ten years, I'm deeply sorry for the wrong choices I've made, and I want to ask your forgiveness. I have to get past this - it's killing me."
.
If the Church you attend is not a forgiving church, you shouldn't be there anyway. The very fact that they are judging you, tells you they are sinning! If they don't know this, then they are not being taught correctly. Jesus also says, 'all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.' People tend to forget their own sins, and the fact that Jesus forgave them. He asks us to 'love as He has loved us." So, if you've asked for forgiveness, and they've been in your shoes (for whatever sin), and they too asked for forgiveness, and got it, you would think they would remember. Sad. Very sad.

I would suggest that you find a good church that preaches Word, and get involved there. There is no need for you to share this 'sin' with anyone anymore!! God has forgiven it!! Now you must forgive yourself and let it go. It's in the past! Leave it there. You are not a bad person, so stop beating yourself up. I don't know 'how many' people truly have the time to make you the topic of conversation in your town. Surely, they have lives of their own. If gossip is all they have time for - then the whole town knows what kind of people they are (sinners). You don't need them as friends. God has taken care of it - now you take care of it! Bury it! Forgive yourself for not being perfect! Concentrate on your 'good points'.... Be a good mother, grandmother....friend. Do something for somebody else in need. Do what Jesus asked of you, "Love as I have loved you." If you get involved in helping others, trust me, my friend, you won't have time to worry about someone gossiping. Put your eyes on Jesus.

Answer 3

You are probably more hung up on it than most of the other 35,000 people in your town. I would agree they might not in a church such as you mentioned, so you did the right thing to be able to move on. If a few friends continue to remind you of past indesrcetions take them for what they are and spend time with them accordingly. Try some new things ie volunteering in something that interests. Even coming here is a good step. I still doubt if 35000 people are brand you a slut when you walk down the street . Get on with it. all the best

Answer 4

I am so sorry. Defining a person by one moment or a series of moments is disgraceful.

I don't know you but I even know that you are better than your worst moment. Good for you for leaving the church. It is a hard decision but ultimately it is probably the best one.

To answer your question, I think that a woman can be forgiven if she is in a progressive society. However, if she's in a progressive society, there isn't much to forgive in the first place.

Good Luck!

Answer 5

God commanded his followers to kill and rip open pregnant women (Numbers 31:17, Ezekiel 9:6, Hosea 13:16), and killed millions of pregnant women himself (Flood & Plagues). There are even Biblical instructions on how to abort the pregnancy of a woman who is suspected of being unfaithful (Numbers 5:12-31).

According to the Bible, man became a living soul when the BREATH of life was BREATHED into his nostrils (Genesis 2:7). Fetuses do NOT breathe through their nostrils until after BIRTH. In Biblical times, male babies were not counted as persons until they were a month old, and female babies were not counted at all (Numbers 3:15). The Bible also says that some would be better off if they had never been born (Ecclesiastes 6:3-5, Matthew 26:24).

Answer 6

Oh sweetie, If the people of the church judged you then they aren't as good of Christians as they think. Do remember however no one is perfect neither are Christians. If you are truly sorry God has forgiven you and who cares what others think that is sin upon them not you. Why don't you try going to a new church in a neighboring town.

Answer 7

This is so upsetting that you have felt the persecution of others especially when God has forgiven you, you know it is a great defect in our character when we barely notice the 99 good things someone does and pounce on them for 1 wrong move.
I pray that you remain strong and close to the Lord who forgave the woman caught in adultery with the most compassionate of words.
May the peace of Christ dwell in your home and in your heart.

Answer 8

You are choosing the wrong Church's....When God forgives someone, they had better forgive you too or they are in danger of Hell fire....if we want to be forgiven, we must forgive.......forgiveness is fundamental to the church..If your church is still condemning you,,,then you need to find one who knows the Gospel a little better..I'm not sure what denomination you have been going to, but I can assure you, Pentecostals are big believers in forgiving each other...find a full Gospel church...

Answer 9

Dear CeltGal..........Our society honors whores and pimps. Just look around and start a list of celebs who just pop out kids without marriage and the men who jump from woman to woman...think Kfed and his ilk. Look at the rap scene who can not cut a record without demeaning women and marriage, Last year's oscar winning song was about pimps and how hard their life is.

You have to honor yourself. You are unique. There neverr has been nor will be anyone just like you to walk the earth. Take satisfaction that you are a good woman who takes pride in her honor....Did not Jesus ask the woman who was about to be stoned "Where are your accusers? Go and sin no more"

Say this: When someone throws "it" in your face, look that person squarely in the eye and say " Why in the world would you say something like that to me. What kind of a person are you to be so thoughtless and cruel?"

You have to confront evil.

I shall not fear .Fear is the mind killer, it is the little death that brings total obliteration. I shall face my fear, I shall let my fear pass over me and through me. And when fear has passed, I will look and see where it has gone and only I remain(taken generally from Frank Herbert)

Answer 10

ok if your town really is 35 thousand people and they have nothing better to do then talk a bout an affair you had ten years ago that is all kinds of screwed up. I think women can be forgive rather easaly. all you have to is start telling people why you did it. or lie about why you did it. severl friends of mine have been in adultorus relationships two of them because there husbands lost all intrest in sex with them. also why do you care what other people think! tell them to grow up get a life , that it happened a DECADE AGO! point out how pathetic it is that they have nothing better to do then gossip about something that happened TEN years ago.