I need some advice please I have a three year old and her father is basically a deadbeat. He goes for months and ignores her and also does not help finacially even though he works a decent job. All he does is disrespect me then Im looked upon as the crazy one when i confront him im so fed up with him ignoring his daughter like she doesnt exist and not helping. My problem is with him ONLY but he is with a 41 year old woman who acts childish. She plays little games on aol and myspace calling me names or making smart *** references directed to me but not coming out and saying it to my face.She also makes it seem like I am jealous of her and im not. I know the best thing to do is ignore her but it is hard plus my daughter father goes talking crap to everyone about me and gives her the upper hand should I confront her or juss continue to ignore her? If I ever have to do visitation with my daughters father in the future How can I have my daughter around that woman if she acts that way?
2007-10-14 07:50:22 · 7 answers · asked by Bleedingheartz 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You don't have to put up with it. Print the remarks, submit them to the court and have an order placed against her from being around your daughter. If he wants to be a dead beat then let him, you don't need THAT kind of person around your daughter. I am all for having the parents involved with the children even if they are separated, however, someone that is lazy, and obviously doesn't give a c r a p about his responsibility doesn't deserve the gift of your precious little baby. YOU keep the records, you keep the information as to what his new gf is doing, the comments and the problems. YOU keep the records of what that dead beat ISN'T doing, then when you have sole custody and refuse visitation, or supervised visitation~neither one have a leg to stand on.
I know that you baby girl may miss her daddy, but eventually when she gets older, she will understand, and she will make her decisions about him, and I guarantee that it will be that she wants little to do with him because he did wrong by her!
Good Luck!
2007-10-14 07:57:42 · answer #1 · answered by Austins Mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing you have to do is to get an attorney and file for child support. that alone may take some of the wind out of her sails, so to speak. You can then contact sites such as Myspace and see if it would do some good to tell them that she is harassing you and the same with AOL. It may be against there TOS agreements to harass others and the comments would be deleted. Keep track of what she does and says and when it comes time for visitation, if he ever wants that, you can perhaps make sure that she is not there for the visitation or have supervised visitation. It may be in time that he will get tired of her and move on and she could realize that and feeling insecure, takes that out on you.
All said though, you are better off without this person in your live and his daughters life as well. Good Luck to you!
2007-10-14 15:04:38 · answer #2 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Same thing I'm going through, honey.....
She is an "angel" although she refuses to help the guy pay $9500 in child support arrears.
She doesn't have primary custody of her own kids so why should she decide what is best for my son?
It's absolutely ugly to have kids in this circumstances. I think all people who are pro-lifers and anti-abortion should be forced to experience it before making abortion illegal. No kid should be forced into a dysfunctional life by politics or laws....
It's funny how single parents of the 50's had healthier kids because visitation was not forced. OK, child support is a gain but most don't pay in full......
Good luck dealing with it, there is not much you can do. Just do nothing without counseling. She will then begin to be seen like the crazy B she really is...
2007-10-14 15:11:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The rule is Documentation beats conversation. You positively need to keep track of whats going on. Print out myspace and aol documents that have negative comments about you. Keep a yellow legal binder of all the events. you can use these the day you have to meet in court. It will show the judge the character of these people.
2007-10-14 14:59:32 · answer #4 · answered by Tell It Like it is 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you need to get an attorney and take your child's father to court to establish child support and/or garnish his wages if he won't pay. As for his girlfriend, ignore her and don't get involved in pettiness and drama. Your job is to raise your little girl as best you can, to try to help her grow up to be a responsible, loving, and happy person and, forgive me, not make the mistakes you have made.
Good luck, and God bless.
2007-10-14 15:06:57 · answer #5 · answered by meatpiemum 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to ignore the idiot girlfriend. She seems very insecure in her relationship with your Ex. The only way you can keep her away from your daughter is with a court order. I'm assuming that when you say deadbeat, he doesn't pay support? If he wants to see he tell him he can visit at your house and she is not welcome.
2007-10-14 14:57:12 · answer #6 · answered by just me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take the high road. Don't validate a grown person's poor and childish behavior by reacting to it. You have to set the proper example for your child , she'll figure things out when she matures. I know it's irritating, however, words only have the power you give them. Take your power back... be the adult.
Best wishes!
Brigid
2007-10-14 15:01:14 · answer #7 · answered by Brigid 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋