How does the "chain of command" work both for the soldier and his spouse?

Question

Thanks for all the great answers people have been giving me about military life and practices. Also all the great web sites that have tons of information. Actually I probably could answer most (maybe all) of my questions without reference to yahoo simply reading all the great information on the web sites but honestly I LOVE ASKING QUESTIONS ON YAHOO lol lol. Eventually I plan to get to know the other spouses in my husband's unit (the FRG) after he finishes his training and if living at home do e mails, chat groups, and text messaging. Ok I found out from a previous question and from other sources that there is no formal hierarchy for military spouses as for their husbands but an informal one still exists ie I can't talk directly to the General's wife. I discovered the concept of the chain of command. My husband must go through his layers of supervisors. What about me. Could I talk directly to his commander if I have a question or concern, or do I have to follow his chain of comm

Answer 1

While you are not formally bound by the chain of command, keep in mind that your husband's career is decided by those folks...and that if you irritate them, he may feel repercussions.

Also keep in mind that the chain of command is there to help resolve thing at the lowest possible level. If you called his colonel, his colonel would ask a lieutenant colonel who would ask a major who would ask a captain...going all the way down to the supervisor, who would probably have had the answer you really needed. The supervisor would probably be irked to have high-level inquiries on something he could have handled.

Best policy, and the one that worked for my wife and me (dual military): He handles his career, you handle yours.

MSgt, USAF (Ret)

Answer 2

IF it's a big enough concern you can talk to the commander -especially if said CO has an open door policy with spouses.

You can talk to any wife you want to - and probably will without even knowing the hubby's rank unless you ask! One of the sweetest ladies in our Bible Study last time we were at Riley was the CG's wife (Commanding General for the post) as was Katy Bell in Germany! (USAREUR commander's wife - 4star general. He was down right awesome too by the way - a very nice man!) The informal wives chain just means be respectful of everyone not that you can't talk to them -- the CG's wife when we were at Lewis told the PWOC ladies to come right in and if she wasn't there to get a soda out of the fridge and wait til she got back! (Nobody took her up on it but hey! )

If you have a concern you can go through the chain but you can also jump it as necessary since you "aren't in the military"! . Just make sure when you do you have done what you can through the lower guys first.

Don't worry so much! Just be excited and willing to learn! Oh and by the way in our marriage everything is each other's business - what I do, what He does we don't keep it all seperate and you don't have to so don't be discouraged by everybody saying it isn't any of your business - you may not be "in" but I gurantee you it will affect your life too! Hubby's quite proud of the fact that I know more about the way the Army works than some of his troopies and that I'm interested in what he does!

Answer 3

I love these kind of questions from new wives...Remember he raised his right hand not you!! That chain of command is his..its his job.. There are many great places on post where dependents can get info when needed about almost anything. Yes by all means get involved but keep it all in perspective. It is his job..Just please don't let the few bad apples (wives) get you down. By that I mean that invisible rank that wife might wear..Laugh it off and go on. Who says you cant talk to the Generals wife?? Or any ones wife?? I don't care what their husbands wear on their uniform..he is a man too, like your husband. If you see a wife at the store or anywhere just say hello and ask how they are doing..treat her with the same respect that you want given to you. I'm a considered a "senior spouse"..big deal..lol Yes we both have put in our time but its his job..I guess you have figured out by now that I probably have rubbed a few the wrong way in my husbands long Army career..lol Any way what I'm trying to say is again..this is his job and don't take anyone or anything too seriously..Make good friends, have fun and enjoy life. It has been good to us and hopefully still will be in these last years..
Proud Army Wife!! HOOAH!!

Answer 4

In some units the FRG have a chain of command, it all depends. FRG's work different at different units. You will have to kinda find out as you go along.
If you have a concern for your husband you should probably let him deal with it. If it is a personal concern of your own you can either try to call the FRG or have your husband ask his chain of command to see what they recommend.
If not a good place to find info is www.militaryonesource.com. Good luck to you both.

Answer 5

I would suggest that you get to know who your honey will be deployed with as soon as you can, before he deployes. It will help you because you will know who he is with, and it will help you bond with the other families of deployed soldiers. That is where your support will come from. We all love our parents and so on, but they will not understand where you are or what you are dealing with unless they have been there themselves. As for the chain of command, if you have questions, start with the unit chaplain. No offense, but the unit commander will have a lot to do without taking time to answer the questions of the families. He will make time for this occassionally, and you will know when he does. But for the most part, stick with the chaplain or your FRG. You can always email me seperately or visit yahoo groups - Army Moms Online. We are more than just moms.

Answer 6

you will have a civilian/spouse chain to go through. going directly to your Husband's CO is a sure fire way to get him into a LOT of trouble.

Navy has Ombudsmen, Marines have Key Volunteers. Army and Air Force have something similar: a spouse who is the liaison between the command and the family members. HOWEVER: you need to be aware that there are certain things that are NONE of the spouses' business...period. anything directly relating to the command and the job, for instance. are your spouses' responsibility to fix.

Answer 7

You said you have discovered the informal chain of command and you should use it without fail a spouse can really hurt a soldier's carrier. Let it be known that you have a serious concern or question and he will contact you in an appropriate manner!

Answer 8

You can talk to the commander. Again there is an informal protocal. Actually your husband can talk to him too under ther open door policy. The informal protocal is that it better be worth the commander's time or your husband can indirectly pay for it.

Also, there is one case where the chain of command does apply to spouses. That is if you are on a forign tour and under "Command Sponsorship." In that case a commander can actually order spouses to attend meeting, do certain things within limits, or even send them home involuntarily.

Answer 9

You should still follow his chain of command. Most commands have a liaison for enlisted people and their spouses.. in the Navy its the CMC, and I think there's something similar in the Army. If you have concerns about your husband's career though, they should be addressed by him through his chain of command or via your FRG.

Answer 10

There's plenty of places that wives can find answers to their questions and concerns so do try all other avenues before bothering your husband's CO. Most of his soldiers have wives and it would require too much of his time to respond to every little thing spouses are concerned about. In other words, start with your husband. Let him use his chain of command if it's that much of a big deal and don't bother his CO with petty stuff.