Its only been 8 months and i feel that already my boyfriend is losing interest.. i told him from the start i wanted to wait for sex, and he wasn't thrilled but said okay..
We have done everything else, intercourse aside.. and while this is great i know what he really wants is to go all the way.
My question is not whether to sleep with him, I HAVE decided to wait.. my question is HOW to keep him interested because i really don't want to lose him?
2007-10-14 03:06:04 · 24 answers · asked by starryeyed 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
And also- is there such thing as waiting too long? If so how do you know when you've reached this point?
2007-10-14 03:09:08 · update #1
And for those who asked, i'm 21, not a minor :)
2007-10-14 19:34:17 · update #2
That is really the only way to keep him interested. Once they tap the well, they move on....
You are a smart gal!
2007-10-14 03:09:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, just make sure you guys go out more, and do things you both enjoy. If he enjoys being with you then he will value you as a partner. Of course, if you are not ready for full-on sex, you can do role plays and just turn him on, if you have no problems with that. You can dress up, or strip for him. Only do this if YOU want to, and don't give in to the pressure. Just tell him, if he feels disappointed or unhappy about your decision concerning sex, he is free to leave the relationship because it is something you cannot do until you feel comfortable, and you do not want him to be in an unhappy relationship. It's a tough one Ms, but there is no easy way out of it, and if this becomes a problem, you guys will have to have the talk. Usually turning men on and doing sexy things keeps his tongue wagging, so maybe you can try that to stall the whole sex question for a little while. Like I said before, you are not a piece of meat, and it is not your sole purpose in life to please men, so if you don't want to do any of this, don't give in to the pressure. Hope this helps.
2016-03-12 21:43:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depend on how old you are, and if you really feel you want to give up a big part of your life to him. I would tell you not to do it, If he is not willing to wait. Go at your own pace and not the pace of if he wants pleasure. I say wait until you can really trust him and you are sure he is one. If you are really sure, which you are not, since you are asking it here, still use a condom. But I think you should wait, if he is not happy with waiting, then he is one of those guys who get sex and leave or if they don't get sex they give an ultamatum. And there are plenty of ways to keep him interested. I like romantic dinners. Watching movies. Doing stuff he likes and Doing stuff you like. Going out to fun places, such as a pool, going to parties, movies, if you can maybe a place that fun such as six flags or a Water park. He will have so much fun he will forget about sex. If you live in a cold country, maybe cuddling infront of a fireplace. Watching a scary movie. Maybe go dancing. Mayeb all you guys friends can come together and have fun. Just do REALLY fun stuff and he will be very occupied. You can even try feeling eachother with your clothes on if you want to something a little sexual. Just keep him interested WITHOUT sex. Untill you are sure and ready. But i think you arent ready. And I think you should dump him, because guys who just want sec are not good guys. There are alot of good guys out there that have waited and can still wait untill you are ready. GOOD LUCK.
2007-10-14 03:15:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's great that you have made the decision to wait for sex in your relationship, but I think for that to work, you have to be with someone who has the same beliefs and is also willing to wait or has enough respect for you not to make you feel bad about it. If he's not willing to wait, then you shouldn't be with him anyway for the long term. Have you guys talked about it? It's always best to have open communication and be honest with each other... cause it sounds like you are doing everything you can to keep him interested, sex aside. But, my best advice, if you haven't already, is just to talk to him and find out how he's really feeling. He might give you an answer that you don't want to hear, but wouldn't you rather know the truth and move on if that's what you need to do??
2007-10-14 03:14:57 · answer #4 · answered by TeggieMcG 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a 26 year old virgin by choice myself, I'm stuck in your situation as well-- almost identically, in fact. My experience is limited, but I'll try and throw down my opinions and suggestions that I have picked up from other people and mulled over myself.
Try doing things that he enjoys that DOESN'T involve sexual acts-- hobbies, interests, personal moments outside the bedroom. A nice dinner or back rub, joking around and such. Just general enjoyable times that don't require clothing removal. ...Try and limit temptation too. My man is just that-- a man, and even the most moral and sweet man seems to have dirty thoughts and desires pretty often. Especially with someone they are 'with' and when the chance is there.
Seriously though-- if you find out a way that works, let me know!
2007-10-14 03:16:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Just keep him waiting. If you say something about it then he might get pissed and leave.
Just dont do anything drastic, it increases the chances of him leaving.
The thing is, If he isnt willing to wait, he might not. He might find someone else.
Dont worry about losing someone over something like that though. Good guys will wait, if he cant I dont think hes the one for you. Dont let him force you into it with peer pressure, because if you guys split afterwards itll mess with you pretty deeply. It always does.
Ive seen it so many times.
Just so you know, doing what you are doing now really increases the chances of a good guy going out of his way to meet you.
Oh and about waiting too long, I can wait forever if its what she wants. Some guys can, some guys wont.
2007-10-14 03:14:21 · answer #6 · answered by Doggzilla 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well honey sex has NEVER kept ANY b/f.
NEVER!As soon as they get to go all the way ,then they start looking around to see if there is something better in bed.
If you will lose because of no sex you WILL lose him AFTER sex.This is why sex outside of marriage is ALWAYS a BAD idea.Why?Because it teaches a men they can have sex WITHOUT COMMITTMENT! It reinforces the image most girls present to them ,that they can use girls for sex and flush them like used toilet paper, no regrets and no tears and go on to the next one.
Stick with no sex and he will either stay or leave.If he leaves ,wouldn't it be better if you weren't carrying his child when he does?
2007-10-14 03:11:08 · answer #7 · answered by Joe F 7 · 6⤊ 0⤋
If he's only interested in sex, there's no reason to pursue a relationship with him. :(
You're better off finding someone who wants the whole deal: physical and emotional.
I tried and tried to keep guys interested, but when all they want is sex, there's nothing you can do...and there's kind of no point to trying to keep them anyway.
***
About waiting too long - do you mean waiting too long to lose your virginity, or waiting too long with a particular guy?
You have to know what you want and what you're comfortable with. If you want to wait until you're married, you should do that. If you want to be physical, you'll know when you're in a good relationship with someone who cares for you and you'll feel good about trying it.
2007-10-14 03:09:42 · answer #8 · answered by slishou 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
It's not about you keeping him interested. It's about whether or not he loves you enough to respect your decision to wait until you are ready. You made your decision to wait. You expressed that to him clearly. You have done your job. Now is he going to wait?....
If he loses interest, so what? You would have kept your committment to yourself and if that does happen be very proud of your self. You have high self esteem. If you give in to him now, you let your self down.
More women should wait before going there. Be proud of yourself and all the best.
2007-10-14 03:13:14 · answer #9 · answered by mstdean518 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, don't have sex just because you are afraid of loosing him. If he really loves you, he wouldn't want to pressure you into something you don't feel comfortable with because to do so would be harmful.
8 months is a bit long though (for an adult), but I suppose it depends on your age and all; If you are a teenager, then its perfectly normal to wait.
2007-10-14 03:12:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Be busy with projects that mean a great deal to you; things that you really have to put your heart into (whatever it is.... music, art, nursing, volunteering, school newspaper) whatever.
It's much like training a puppy... if you want the puppy to come to you, you never chase after it, you run like mad in the opposite direction and they come chasing.
Hate to say it, but girls are far to aggressive in relationships, the males think they can have and do whatever they like because girls just flaunt it and push it right in their faces.
If he doesn't like that you are pleasantly busy and interested in him but willing to walk away, then he isn't worth it.
:-) Hope this helps. Your lovely womanhood should be held aloft- don't squander yourself. I'd say to cool the 'other stuff' you're doing it isn't helping. JMHO
2007-10-14 03:14:26 · answer #11 · answered by anyusmoon1 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋