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visits her almost every month.he lives in another country.everytime he comes he stays at our home.but the house has just 2rooms,and everytime,they force me to go to a hotel,or wherever else,because they want to be alone.so,4the last year,almost everymonth,i spend 2-4days in hotels,or to homes of friends.i don't feel comfortable at all.i feel so shamed when i go to spend these days to a friend's house,because i must lie.i never tell them the real reason.i've explained to my sist how i feel,and she said that i say all that stuff because i don't want her to be happy.
what else can i do?i'm bored and too much annoyed with that situation...she would never do such a thing for me,and she doesn't understand how i feel...
please,help!any advise?what else can i tell her?

ps:i live with my sist,and we both go to university.

2007-10-14 02:34:33 · 12 answers · asked by D.B.O. 4 in Family & Relationships Family

they sometimes go to a hotel,but my sist says that he's her visitor,and so i must leave them alone.and she always arranges stuff behind my back.once,he came,i didn't know that he would,and my sist told me:i've packed your books,and some clothes,can u go to nina's house for 2days?
and when i told her no,and that they should leave the house,and not me,she said that i care just about myself,and that kind of things.and we had a fight infront of him,and then i found out that she wa saying bad things for me to him,behind my back(that i'm strange,and selfish!)
i can't focus on reading when i'm in an unknow place,that's why i don't want to go to hotels;'cause i can't read.
sometimes he pays,but i don't like that situation at all.i feel like a stranger in my own house.and she doesn't understand that.
my parents don't know all this,and i don't want to tell it to them,'cause i will have great problems with her...help me!

2007-10-14 02:49:41 · update #1

12 answers

here's what you do -- tell your sister it's YOUR home too, and that if she wants privacy she can get a hotel.

there is no reason you should be inconvenienced or run from your own room on account of HER boyfriend.

if he can afford to come to visit from another country, then he can get a hotel.

don't do it anymore!

2007-10-14 03:08:45 · answer #1 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0 0

Just refuse to leave it's your house too. And if you do end up leaving make them pay for the gas, food, and hotel room. You could even have your sister go to a hotel. If they're that seriouse to where he'll come over once a month from another country then y are they in sperate rooms there should be no problem with you being there.

2007-10-14 09:44:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Well tell her this year her and her boyfriend will have to find a hotel, as you are staying home. I you have a right to stay in your home. If they want to be alone than let them go to the hotel. If they don't it may get a little embarrassing, but stay your ground. Or if they you cant do that then tell them if you want me to go than you will be paying for the the time that I have to stay some place else. You shouldn't have to leave and pay for them to be alone. If that doesn't work maybe find a different room mate. Good Luck!!

2007-10-14 09:43:02 · answer #3 · answered by motherof two 2 · 0 0

My advice is to move out. Your sister is a selfish, spoiled brat. There's probably a reason the boyfriend only wants her for sex. She's his free sex toy, and nothing more. He probably can't stand her otherwise. You shouldn't have to feel ashamed. If he should come over again and you spend the nights at a friend's house, tell them the truth, and tell them you'll be moving out by a certain date(within a month or two).

"my parents don't know all this,and i don't want to tell it to them,'cause i will have great problems with her...help me!"

Honey, you already have great problems with her. Do tell your parents the truth. If she has a problem with it, it's her own fault. Why are you letting your sister control you like this? Are you afraid of her?

Something you could do(before you actually move out, and you WILL move out, right?)is when you know the boyfriend is there, call your parents from another location, and invite them over, to the house. Make sure your sister doesn't know this. Wouldn't it be fun to be a fly on the wall when your sister tries to explain her way out of THAT one. She won't be able to let go of them too easily, since they'll get suspicious.

If you don't move out and tell your parents the truth as to why you are moving out, and do tell them everything, I'm going to start thinking you really enjoy this.

Also, do a lot of research on the guy. It wouldn't surprise me one bit to find out he has a record, that's he's married, has kids, etc. Then show all your evidence to your sister.

2007-10-14 09:39:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

well it seems like you've got a good heart, but doin that more than once would be too much for me. i would either a) tell her your just not gonna do it anymore and stand up to her when she tells you otherwise, or b) make her pay for an awesome hotel suite when she wants you to leave. perhaps a room with a jacuzzi. then have some friends and drink and party. hell the room's on her anyways. key point is to take control of the situation.

2007-10-14 09:42:13 · answer #5 · answered by CWoodson21 1 · 0 0

well it is your house too and you technicly dont have to leave for her. tell her that if she wants to spend time with her boyfriend that it shouldnt have to affect everyone else and that she can go to a hotel to be alone instead of you because it isnt your problem i dont see the worst she can do is get a little angry but she cant throw you out of the house so just put you foot down.
hope this helps

2007-10-14 09:47:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Why don't you just tell your sister that it's better for both of them to go in a hotel instead of you. At least they have more privacy and beside her boyfriend can pay the expenses i guess.
I really don't get your sister why she do that. She should be and her bf be in hotel.

2007-10-14 09:40:45 · answer #7 · answered by kugay 4 · 0 0

Refuse to go anywhere. If they want to be alone, tell them to go outside or go to a hotel themselves. And if her boyfriend is not cheap, he will pay for the hotel.

2007-10-14 11:00:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I definetly wouldnt go to any hotel, unless that guy paid for the hotel, gas and food. Thats ridiculus that your sister would do that to you...you really need to sit and talk with her about this...why cant she go to the hotel?

2007-10-14 09:39:26 · answer #9 · answered by saycheese 3 · 0 0

Tell her to pay for your hotel bill, or you're telling Mom and Dad about her visitor.

2007-10-14 09:39:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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