I need your help about my self-esteem?

Question

I'm very sad because i always feel ugly, my friends said that i'm not, but as i look in the mirror, i can see that i am very ugly. I just don't know what's up with them but i think they're just lying to me. i just don't look good. This is the reason why i still don't have any girl friend right now, cuz i'm very shy because i'm afraid to get insulted because of my looks.. Please i need your help how to improve this feelings, cuz i think there's no way to improve my looks.

I need to increase my self-esteem and confidence..
http://profiles.friendster.com/numericaltwelve

i have some pics on that profile, i sometimes look good in picture but i guess my camera is lying.

Answer 1

you will never see until you see...you will never hear until you hear...your self esteem issues could be your age...same as the girlfriend issues. No one can convince you of what you will not be convinced of and all the fishing for compliments in the world is not going to make it all better...it takes hard work to be the person that you would hang out with if you could

Answer 2

I will tell you as I have told many others. SELF ESTEEM IS A MENTAL SICKNESS!! For get about “getting” self esteem. What you had better do is learn to accept yourself unconditionally. Or as Dr. Albert Ellis PhD. Says USA (Unconditional Self Acceptance). You accept yourself with all your human flaws and all humans have flaws and imperfections. Those that promote self esteem are IDIOTS. Check this out
http://albertellis.org/products.php?cat=29

You can not feel that you are ugly. You can think you are ugly. You can believe you are ugly but you can not feel you are ugly because ugly is not a feeling. So what you are doing is deluding yourself. I feel I am ugly there for I must be ugly. Don’t you think that’s kind a dumb? What would you think if a friend of yours said that about themselves? Prove that you are ugly? Do people look at you and run away screaming? You write that you have friends so you can’t be to scary.

Noting is insulting unless you accept it as insulting. Yes you. I have been called everything and I don’t find it insulting. I know that the people saying those things are very sick but what they say has little to nothing to do about me but say a lot about themselves.

You do seem to have some social anxiety but it can’t be to bad if you have friend and with work you can get over it. A good book is “Controlling your anxiety before it controls you” by Dr. Albert Ellis PhD. You can find it at the link I provided.

Good luck

Answer 3

The camera would not lie so many times! Sometimes unattractive people get a picture that makes them look lovely but the rest are pants. You have 59 consistent looking pictures that show to you to be an attractive young man. I bet the girls are ruining after you. Shyness is not just down to looks. Not all good looking people are outgoing, like not all ugly people are shy. You lack confidence and perhaps you can see someone to help with this - but as for your looks you have nothing to worry about.

Answer 4

hi, why are u doing this to your self, it seems like you are putting yourself down completely. No one can help you about ur self esteem you have to realize that you are worth it. When u look at the mirror what do u see, a person u said that is ugly and not able to have a girlfriend or make friends. You need to work on ur self first. As we age our looks change, so i don't know how u look at urself, when u look at the mirror, u should stop telling to urself how ugly u look, u have to build up ur self esteem, what u should do is face into the mirror and start saying "i am a goodlooking person" "i have confidence in me" "i can be what i want to be" and most of all ignore all the negative feedback from others, in the eyes of god we are all equal, beauty is only skin deep, it is what inside of you counts...I hope and i pray that you don't stress yourself too much about it, instead find a solution how u think u can make urself feel better, stop listening to ur other self, instead ignore it, and replace it with positive thoughts, then do the action. I am pretty sure there are lots of ways to make urself feel good, like do some shopping, get a nice haircut, if u have a skin problem go see a doctor and ask for help about it, if you have a weight issue, deal with it too, don't let ur self soak into a downloading non sense because at the end, no one will suffer but u. I know some people are heaving a hard time dealing with their health issue and it is not easy, i am one of them, but i found somthing 4 me that works, and my self esteem went up since i done it, i stop feeling sorry for myself, i start excercising, doing outside activities, take care of my skin and evrything else, and the best thing of all i am learning how to "meditate" everyday i wake i always say it is another day and wat would it be, is it going to be a "positive day" or "negative day", of course i always chose to be on the positive side, and so should u. In this world we only have one life to live so we should make the best out of it, our physical body is not going to last, and so we should do what ever we can to take care of it and face the world and be what u want to be with pride and self confidence...u should think about it, take a stand now, everyday lift urself up, always have that hope and faith within u, we are all a beautiful people in the eye of our beholder, and that's wat u should always tell to urself, that u r worth it, and a handsome looking fellow...Goodluck and i hope u will find happiness once u let go of all the negatives thoughts within u....be positive and i promise u it will work....Always look at the bright side....

Answer 5

OK, consider this. Men think I am very hot and very cute, and not only they say it, they act as if I'm very hot and cute. But every time I look at myself in the mirror, I only see imperfections in my appearance: an extra pound here or there, nose not strait enough and other silly things. So you are not alone, we all doubt if we are good enough, even girls and even very pretty girls :)

So don't look at the mirror except for checking if you are dressed properly, and don't worry too much about your appearance. Trust my word, girls pay more attention to your overall confidence than to your facial features.

And I looked at your pics - you are quite good looking, by the way :)

Answer 6

Cameras don't lie honey...people do! Your friends can only do so much for you. It's a real shame that you don't see how absolutely adorable you really are!! I hope you will grow out of this...you're still young so perhaps you just aren't quite comfortable in your own body yet. This is the only body you have in this lifetime so it's best to get used to it now! You have to be noticing girls turning their heads and looking your way, this is because they think you are cute....not a freak show...CUTE!!!

Answer 7

You are a nice looking young man, no need to worry.

Perhaps you just need a self-esteem boost? I found a couple of sources below, and i hope they help in some way, if you take the time to look.

take care ok!?

Answer 8

First off, the first wrong thing you're doing is thinking that you're ugly. Think positively about yourself! If you let other people know that you think you're ugly, then they'll think that you're too self-contious, and that's the last thing that people need to know about someone. The second thing that you're doing wrong- If you're shy just because you're shy, well then come out of your shell and talk to people! But if you're shy because you're scared about the insults you'll get if you talk to someone, you're too worrysome! You have to realize that you're not the only person who is scared to get insults. Everyone is. But if you're not talking to people just because of the way you look, you need to stop. And you need to stop now. Talk to whoever you see in the halls, or whoever you sit next to in class. Trust me, in sixth grade, I had headgear. Everyone stared, but only 1 person made fun of me. And that one person turned out to be very sef-contious about themself. So please, talk to people more. You'll be glad you did.

Answer 9

cameras dont lie. evry1 is attractive. remember wot u lak in looks u make up 4 in personality. 4get bout sadness focus on gud points bout urslf.