My boyfriend is always talking dirty with different women on AIM. He uses AIM on his phone (a sidekick 3), so I usually have no idea he is even talking to anyone at all. Sometimes he will leave his phone lying around, and I will look at it, to see what he has been typing so much about. Most of the time I catch the end of a converstion that is inappropriate. We fight about this because I consider it a form of cheating. He wouldn't call these women on the phone and talk this way, so how is AIM any different? Why would he sit right next to me, and type away about sexual things with another woman and not expect me to get upset about it? Am I just being crazy? or is this a form of cheating?
2007-10-14 00:47:40 · 44 answers · asked by Stephanie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You already know the answer to this question, darling. YES, IT IS. He is getting sexually satisfied by other people, NOT YOU. A relationship where you guys both promise fidelity to each other means love, lust, trust and commitment. So is it cheating when he's loving to lust for other women? Of course it is! When you're "committed" to someone, EVERYTHING about that person satisfies you to where you DON'T NEED to get horny about "F*^&ing" someone else. Yes, Love and lust are two different things (he'll probably try to tell you this). But deep love leads to deeper lust and hot lust leads to fiery love. Its a beautiful, gorgeous circle. Hopefully, one day you'll find your one true love who shows you this and treats you with this type of "commitment".How dare he even have the audacity to be near you, touch you, smell you, and STILL be talking to other girls about how he wants to F*ck?!? I don't know how serious you are with him, but he is obviously not that serious with you. He sounds like A LITTLE BOY. Not a man. Ditch the dip.
2007-10-14 00:56:22 · answer #1 · answered by Misty_00 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Cheating should be determined by the individual being cheated upon. The other individual may not be aware of what he is doing or how it is affecting you. Since this is not the case you are left with one of two choices: To live with it or live without it. Let him know how you truely feel about the situation. Tell him that if he appreciates you and your feeling that he will stop doing it. The final part is to let him know that you are serious and that if he doesn't stop then you will have no other choice in splitting up. If he cares deeply for you then he would rather stop talking dirty to these girls then lose you because of something so stupid a that. You might even suggest going online and setting up a private chat so that you two can talk dirty (fullfilling his desire) and add a little excitement to your relationship.
2007-10-14 00:58:47 · answer #2 · answered by ChaRiaLer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are absolutely right, it is cheating. He should have much more respect for you than that! I would personaly kick him to the curb over this. He knows that it is cheating. He would throw a fit if you were the one doing it to other men. I would have to tell him that he has a choice....them or me, bc I will not be disrespected like that! A real man would never do such a thing. Go get yourself a real man if he will not stop. It does not have to be physical for it to be cheating...it can be emotionaly, mentaly, and anyway that he is on a sexual or intimate basis with any other woman in ANY way.
2007-10-14 00:54:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He talks dirty because he can get away with it without facing these women. He is hiding behind his phone, doesn't have to face anyone. Is this cheating? It is a form of cheating because he thinks these thoughts, types them out in text, and feels gratification since he is continuing to do it over and over again. I would never lower myself to be around someone that treats women this way and finds it humorous or erotic. Find someone that treats you with respect, he doesn't!
2007-10-14 00:55:09 · answer #4 · answered by Nancy S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do you know they haven't just stepped out of the shower. (joke, sorry) You are not crazy--you are jealous. And unless this involves boiling someone's pet rabbit, it's pretty normal. But it is YOU who must change.
He is your boyfriend, not your husband. So don't start nagging him yet. Such actions as his have little or nothing to do with the place you hold in his life. He doesn't think of this as cheating. After all he can't reach through the wires and touch these "dirty" girls. It's just a guy thing.
As far as cheating goes--there's no such thing. We are all free agents who should never make promises when it comes to sex.
2007-10-14 00:54:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I can't believe you have to ask us if this is a form of cheating and if you're crazy......
This so called boyfriend of yours is a loser and you should dump him like yesterday!! Have you got no self respect?
Don't let him basically cheat on you right in front of your face, he either stops this messaging altogether or he's history. Let's see if he likes it, why don't you start messaging some guys with sexual conversations and see what he thinks, he's a jerk, insensitive to your feelings and obviously thinks that this type of relationship is ok, well not with you, so
DUMP HIM!
2007-10-14 00:53:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can't say wether its cheating or not. But I can tell you that I doubt he has anything serious for these women. I can kind of understand what's going on, and i think he just wants attention. Not that you aren't giving him enough, but like, it wouldnt matter however much love and stuff you gave him he'd still want the feeling he gets from these strange women. I can't explain it? But he probably loves you and all that? Just try and really tell him how much it hurts. You shouldn't stand for it, its his problem.
2007-10-14 00:51:48 · answer #7 · answered by psych0delicate 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would definately be just as annoyed and upset as you. Flirting is just the same as cheating except its verbal rather than physical its disrespectful and shows that they can not be trusted. If a person loves you and cares for you there should be no need to look else wher.
2007-10-14 00:54:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think this is not a form of cheating. because if he would cheat he wouldn't tell it to you. if you don't like his attitude, you should be open about it. and be firm on telling him if he didn't stop this then you would do something that he won't like... like breaking up with him. if he still continued this, maybe he's falling in love with another girl in AIM.
2007-10-14 00:52:55 · answer #9 · answered by Quel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely - emotional cheating is just as bad as physical. Its not as if he is just admiring another woman passing by - thats pretty normal stuff, but particularly doing it when you are present is sick - he needs to grow up, and you need to find someone that has more respect for you....you deserve better. This sort of behavior can really zap your self esteem, so as hard as it may be, you need to protect yourself and get rid of this jerk
2007-10-14 00:52:36 · answer #10 · answered by max50 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋