What is the proper care for my "Atheist detecting radar"? When I walking pass someone and my radar goes off, how do I know if it is the person to the left of me or the right of me. I want to hurl a "Go to hell" in the right direction.
Now for bible thumping and waving. Do I wave and thump in a up and down direction, or a left and righ direction? If I don't happen to have one of my one hundred bibles with me, what can i use in substitution.
Can I put my converting water in a squirt bottle? Never know when I have to start converting those atheist that I detected with my radar. When it rains outside, how do I know which atheist hasn't been converted yet by the thousands of believers who ran outside to start the converting?
2007-10-13 20:19:46 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Zero Cool, lighten up. That's great that you are a witch or wiccan (right). I had a good friend who studied it. We had lots of nice long talks.
Now you know that some people think you have a wand or have a jar of toads.
2007-10-13 20:29:43 · update #1
Trinity,
I glad you got my sarcasm. Converting kits.. Hmmmm... good idea!!
2007-10-13 20:37:33 · update #2
I obviously don't want them running away from me. Maybe I can go incognito as an atheist, get them cornered and start thumping awaying. They may run away, but I am sure that there will be a few people behind me waiting to tackle them.
2007-10-13 20:41:35 · update #3
Kim, you didn't read what I typed. I asked how can I tell the who hasn't been converted yet and who has. Maybe we should bless a marker and put a symbol on them. Then again, nothing wrong with giving them a second dose. Sorta like branding cattle. That gave me a funny image. When it rains us theist run out bible in hand and start corraling them atheist. I hope some know how to ride a horse.
Expensive radar? Who knows.
2007-10-13 20:51:42 · update #4
Epigious,
You are right I probably don't have a good radar. Maybe I need a training session. I don't usually care who is one or not, people are people and should be treated humanely.
Up and down huh, lol.
2007-10-13 21:10:41 · update #5
your atheist radar isn't very good if you can't tell who the "atheist aura" is coming from.
i'd avoid saying "Go to hell", as many atheists would be willing to get into a physical fight for that. but saying something like "You're going to go to hell" should be ok.
for the bible thumping, the traditional direction is to wave it up and down, so as to waft holy air in their direction.
if you don't have your bible, there's not much else you can use to waft holy air. you should instead use your cross (surely you always carry that with you at least) to 'ward' the sinner away.
if you have the converting water squirt bottle with you. touch the atheists with your cross (beware, it will probably burn them). and imediately spray them with the converting water (to subdue the demon inside of them that might arise when the cross touched them).
theoretically, converting water could be stored and dispensed from any type of container, so it should work, although i've never tried it myself.
EDIT
the only way to know who has and hasn't been converted yet is to brand them. when you convert them (and get everyone else to do the same thing), you should use your cross to burn them in an easy-to-notice spot. i recommend either the forehead or the back of the right hand.
if the cross doesn't burn, you might have to use a permanent marker.
2007-10-13 21:06:00 · answer #1 · answered by Epigeios 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I hope that this is a joke.
If it's not..... then I'm a guessing that you're a Christian by name, but not by practice nor actions, not even words.
If you want to convert someone, just be simplistic. Do not be like the hypocrites who love to show-off in public. Confront those whom you want to convert privately.
And I don't think that you'd really need a squirt bottle.
Wait! I thought you said you have an "Atheist detecting radar?" But, why, then, would you have difficulty in detecting the atheists in the rain? Isn't your radar water-proof?
What? Are the spare parts you used in making your radar too expensive? Or you're just not that willing to spend for converting anyone?
2007-10-13 20:45:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sarcasm and from a christian, even. How about just putting on a white toga, and dressing up like Jesus THEN people will know what you are and THEY will get out of your way ? What most people hate is a christian out to convert someone but dressing this way you can really get at those who DO want to convert by giving you the attention you so desperately desire.
2007-10-13 20:36:46 · answer #3 · answered by Theban 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ROFLMAO!!!!
You go on with your radar detector, thumping,waving squirt bottle converting self! Maybe you need to make up some kits to sell on ebay!
Conversion Kits of the Religious Kind...;)
thanks for the smile!
blessed be!
)o(
trinity
2007-10-13 20:30:53 · answer #4 · answered by trinity 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
i do not trust in faith, nor do i imagine that folk are not entitled to their own beliefs because they rightly are. notwithstanding what i do trust is that those those who trust in faith could have come to the end that in the journey that they trust in technology then they're going adverse to the concept god created the international such as his bare fingers. technology comes up with theories about the way the international got here to be, while faith hasn't any truly data its purely memories in a e book :3 like something in this international if someone would not favor to trust something they gained't, if religious human beings favor to trust god made the international then they gained't trust that technology did something to help god.
2016-10-09 04:52:45 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DesiDani why don't you stop with that "Holier then thou" attitude and realize that everyone even atheist have a right to their own beliefs.
I am a witch, and I know how it feels to be like you, cause I was once a christian, and trust me you do not have all of the answers, and neither do I.
Blessed Be.
2007-10-13 20:26:51 · answer #6 · answered by Zero Cool 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
In your group of "faiths" do you include the Secular Humanist church? It is based on atheism. How about the Church of Satan; they are atheists. What about Buddhists who are also atheists?
Do you not know that atheism does not mean "devoid of spiritual nature"?
2007-10-13 20:31:24 · answer #7 · answered by Deirdre H 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Do Not pray out in the open as the hypocrites do.... Oh wait be yourself... we do like to know which of you are hypocrites...
2007-10-13 20:24:48 · answer #8 · answered by Gyspy 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Try praying for them.
2007-10-13 20:23:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
ROTFL.
Some pretty good sarcasm.
2007-10-13 20:35:28 · answer #10 · answered by bestonnet_00 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋