Should I allow my child's father visitation rights?

Question

I spent 2 + years with my child's father, and the weekend of mother's day I had found out he was cheating on me probably the whole time with someone at work, while I took care of his 2 kids and his house and contributed financially to his household while taking care of my own.
Yesterday after months of avoiding times where he would go to the store since i know his routine after two years, I ended up running into him. He has not seen his son in 5 months since he walked out on me and our 7 month old son.
He has done countless things to us to make our lives miserable, but yesterday he asked if he could have visitation rights. I kind of know what i plan to do and say, but i am thinking of what's in the best interest of my son. He does not help one iota with our son.
I have a hard time believing him after years of lies, and I will never trust him again, especially after all his threats.
My decision i need to make is whether he gets visitation or not. Take a vote.

Answer 1

There isn't any voting allowed. The court will decide how much he pays in support and when he gets to see him. Get a lawyer.

Answer 2

Since your son is the child of both you AND your husband, you should never consider keeping the child from his father, unless there is risk of physical harm or abuse on the part of your ex - in which case you would have to leave any custody and visitation up to the courts anyway. Actually, with all the history betwen you and your ex, you probably should seek that route anyway: take it to court and let a judge decide the custody/visitation arrangements, keeping in mind that this is about your son, and not about your relationship with your son's father.

Think of it this way: your son is not your possession, he is a human being with a mother and a father. Though the father's behavior leaves much to be desired, no one should even consider standing in the way of any potential contact or relationship between the son and his father, without just cause.

Answer 3

Well not only should he have a right to co-parent his son, he also has an obligation to his son both emotionally, & financially.
If he is really interested in his child, & I hope you are too, then the both of you will put your own agendas asside, & work out a plan where you both can have an equal parenting role in your sons life. Sure it's likely that you will be the primary custodial parent, but he can still be there for visitations, & later on when the kid is ready, for weekend visits & vacations with his dad.
You have an obligation to your child to want this for him, & to try to work out a co-parenting plan with his father.
His father has obligations to his son too. As long as he meets those obligations then he should have a perfect right to see his son regularly.
That's my vote!

Answer 4

If he is a reliable person & the child is safe with him, then
of course he should be able to see his son, the only one
to be hurt in a struggle between parents is the child. If it is
at all possible children need both parents, they need them
to be positive about each other, it does'nt matter how you
feel about each other, a child should never be used as a
weapon to hurt the other parent, this can only result in the
child having divided loyalties that will damage them for the
rest of their lives, you don't have to pretend to love your ex,
that won't do any good either but, you can be civil to each
other and never be negative about one and other in front
of your son, let the court sort out visitation times and then abide by the decision that is made

Answer 5

Yes he should be able to visit ,as it is your son that is being hurt ,as he is the one being used against each other,The reason he did some of these nasty things could have been because he wants to see his children.
you both need to talk things out and accept your marriage break down and move on,And you both should be allowed to see your 7 month old and 5mths old son too.
And raise the children between you even if you both can`t live together.The kids need both parents around
The only time that he should not have visitation rights is if he is abusive to you or the children

Answer 6

If you live in the US...

If you don’t let him see the kids, all he has to do is petition the court for visitation. Unless he’s found to be unfit in some manner (and cheating on you does not make him an unfit parent), he will get visitation. So, while you can delay it, you can’t prevent it (again, unless he's found to be unfit, and even then he will likely receive supervised visits).

If you haven’t yet petitioned for child support, you should do that.

Answer 7

Yes, this guy has hurt you deeply, and I know you just really want to slam the door in his lying and cheating face.
But I don't think you can deny him visitation rights, especially if the two of you haven't hashed this thing out in court.
If you really don't want him in the child's life, go for sole custody. And if you can prove he is a danger to you and baby, the cheater won't be allowed to see the baby.
But if you can't prove this, you may have to give him visitation rights, like it or not.

Answer 8

If you think that he in any way could harm your child then I would do everything in my power to keep him from getting visitation rights. Also, if he is still fooling around with this woman then he's a bad remodel for your children. Your son does need a father figure though. One that will be in his life permanently.

P.S. I have a friend who moved back in with her parents so her children could have at least a male figure in their lives.

Answer 9

That depends. If he'll physically harm your son then no. If you're unsure you can tell him you want to be there when he visits at least for the first month or two then make you're decision based on those visits. In the end it's up to you. I just gave my opinion.

Answer 10

It does not matter that he helps financially with the kids, but spends time with them(him) But this should go through the courts in the so that his child(ren) receive the support that is entitled to them (him). Just because he don't give you no money does not mean you can prevent visititation.