how to deal with daughters husband?

Question

My daughter married a mexican 16yrs ago,had a son w/him who's now 15yrs old. She left her husband when her son was 5yrs old &moved back to her home state. Her husband came back to spend a night w/her saying he wanted to talk things out. In mid of the night,he took their son & left. We had no idea where he was til 3 wks ago. We went 2 visit w/him & have stayed in contact ever since,but now his father keeps trying to keep him from talking on the phone. Says he lost the cell phone a couple of days & etc.His father has kept him at home all the time(no school sports or social life). He told us he used to have friends that he would play ball w/at the park when his dad went w/him,but now they're older & do other things now he only has his dad & his dads friends. That isn't good 4 him. He needs a social life himself. He told him be4 he could come visit 4 holidays,but now says no. Things got worse after she sent money 2 son.How do we deal w/it? They're still married. Serious answer please.

When he was taken we contacted authorties,they wouldn't do anything. Niether of them had custody yet. Drop the Mexican bit? Ha! None of the lawyers would take the case then because he was mexican. We tried for yrs to get help,even tried all talk show hosts to no avail. Lawyers said he would probably change their names & run if they did try 2 fight it anyway,which is true. We lived it,we know him. As it turned out,he did hide him out in Mexico 4 a while. What good would it do now to get custody? He is old enough 2 decide where he wants 2 stay & rip him from the only life & school he knows? At 15? No. I know it's best 4 him where he is 4 now,we just want 2 visit & talk w/him w/out his fathers interference. VAULT,u r talking 2 the wrong 1 abt puting mex. down. Most of my family are mixed w/them,I have 2 beautiful mex grandkids. I knew there would be a lot of idiotic comments. Don't know why I tried.

Helper-what does any of what you said have 2 do w/the question? Judging her husband? How abt him judging her & filling the kids head full of all kinds of lies. Yes,there is more 2 the story,but there isn't that much room on here 2 tell it all. He's controlling,a liar,alcoholic & abusive. Need I say more? She even called immigration on him 4 using alias' & his run in w/the law & they said they had worse cases then his 2 be concerned abt.
Something I 4got 2 mention before: When he did take their son in the mid of the night,she was asleep or she would have stopped him.

Answer 1

Wow! Serious situation. If you can talk to the guy and reason with him, it would be best. Just try to explain that if he wants to be in his son's life, that's fine, but he can't be so controlling. If you get to a dead end, you may consider involving the authorities. I don't know your financial situation, but custody battles can be expensive. You may also see if you can get a free consult from a lawyer. Hope all goes well, and maybe I helped. Good luck!

Answer 2

Uhhh. Looking at it in it's mildest form I would call this custodial interferance. But more likely the father is guilty of KIDNAPPING. At the very least this is a matter for the FBI.

It will be complicated if he took the kid back to Mexico, but the situation is not yet hopless if he did. Mexico has been working to improve it's stature with the US over immigration, & free trade issues, so they won't be as resistant to intervening in a case like this as they used to be.

If he didn't flee to Mexico, then there is all the more reason you need to act quickly without tipping the father off before he DOES run to Mexico with his son, or even some other foreign country that he may have access to.

Don't delay this any further. It's a kidnapping if the events happened the way you depicted them in your question, so report it as such to the police right away.

Answer 3

she needs to go get legal aid and they will make the papers for her to file to make a custody hearing . you didnt mention how long the father has had the child.

legally he cannot keep her from her son . She can steal him right back if there is no custody arangement. If she takes him, she cant remove him from the home ( walk up to the door and claim him) but she can get him while outside the house and then all she needs to say to the police is " if the father has court documents stating he has custody , he may have him back " otherwise she has just as much right to the child as he does. Plus the child is going to have to want to go with the mother ( not kicking and screaming)

also the out of state could be an issue. If she was never on cash assistance , or had the DA go after the father for child support. she should go get the child right now( as mentioned above), file a custody hearing in her home state , and have the father served.

If there was child support case against the father, you have to file the custody hearing in that state that court order for support or cash aid was recieved.

good luck and god bless

i had the same thing happen to me ...Im in law school now.;)

Answer 4

Well if your wife left him, and he came and took the boy in the middle of the night. Then why did your daughter not go to court and charge him with kidnapping? Non of this makes sense. If my ex came and took my child in the middle of the night without permission. I would be dammed if I sat back and not called the police right away. What he did was kid napping. Something is not right here. There is more to the story then you are telling. Your daughter would just not let her ex take the child and have him. Maybe your daughter is not telling you the truth or the whole story. I am sure you are not angry at what you are reading but think about it. And one more question. Why did you say your daughter married a Mexican? You could have said my daughter got married. So now you are putting down Mexicans. Your daughter chose to marry him. So him being a Mexican has nothing to do with what is going on. I think you need to sit down with your daughter and find out the truth. I still find it strange your daughter just let him have the child and why your daughter never pressed charges or fought for him. Plus we are only hearing one side of the story. well if your son in law was given custody of the child, then you should mention then that. And if that is so yes, your daughter needs to pay child support.

Answer 5

i'm sorry you're having to handle this. All you desire to do is be a kinfolk, step toddler or no longer, and she or he would not desire to offer you a injury. This became into virtually the precise opposite of what I went by way of while my dad remarried, i became into 18 years previous. I had no undertaking with my step mom and became into greater advantageous than chuffed for them yet she stayed distant. even while they lived around the corner, actually around the corner, for 2 years I consistently felt unwelcome as quickly as I visited if she became into abode. anyhow, i'm happy to pay attention your husband is status up for you. of course he loves his daughter and grand daughter yet she would be in a position to't attempt to run his life how she expects him to stay it. it sort of feels very extraordinary that she is advantageous together with her mom and her new husband, so why can't she supply the comparable admire to the two certainly one of you? i do no longer probably have any good suggestion on what to do as properly basically permit it circulate. i might hate to work out a kinfolk split aside for no reason even though it would not sound like this lady may well be reasoned with. she will have the potential to ultimately mature, optimistically, and understand what a egocentric wench she is being.

Answer 6

What does the father being Mexican have to do with anything? Anyway, her son is old enough to decide where he wants to be. If your daughter takes it to court they will ask your grandson where he wants to live. Then if he wants to, he will come home. It's not considered kidnapping if the father takes his son. After all he is the father, and he is still married to your daughter. However keep in mind that your grandson can still choose.

Answer 7

You can start by humbling yourself before God and encouraging your daughter to do the same.

For her to be honest about her rebellion 16 years ago (and earlier) would be a good thing also.

Forgiving and refusing to judge her husband would be an additional right thing to do.

Pray with right motives (not selfishly) for her husband (your grandson's father) and determine that you will not speak evil of him to anyone.

Recognize that forgiveness IS NOT an option. Jesus said very plainly, "If you do not forgive men their trepasses, neither will your heavenly Father forgive you for your trepasses.

Mat 5:44 "But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those cursing you, do good to those hating you, and pray for those insulting you and persecuting you,

Mat 7:24 "Therefore everyone who hears these words of Mine, and does them, shall be like a wise man who built his house on the rock,
Mat 7:25 and the rain came down, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock.
Mat 7:26 "And everyone who hears these words of Mine, and does not do them, shall be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand,
Mat 7:27 and the rain came down, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and they beat on that house, and it fell, and great was its fall."
Mat 7:28 And it came to be, when יהושע had ended these words, that the people were astonished at His teaching,
Mat 7:29 for He was teaching them as one possessing authority, and not as the scribes.

In summary, walk in love, forgive, don't hold grudges for even an hour and pray for everyone involved the way you would want others to pray for you.

There is free Bible study software at e-Sword dot net that will make Bible study on your computer very easy.

Answer 8

Call social services where he lives first. they won't do anything but you need to show you tried. Then get an attorney. And drop the "Mexican" thing you'll just make matters worse.

Answer 9

Racist much? ....him being Mexican has nothing to do with the subject...

but anyways i say you take him to court ! The judge can decide what is best for him, he's old enough to talk and make sure you bring all types of evidence when you do. Don't stay there with your hands cross and see this guy mess up your grandson's life.

Answer 10

Get him back, the son is old enough to say who he wants to be with, if you really love your son get him back with help from police.