My Brother is a month shy of 16. He cusses and Treats my mom Horribly. He says rude things to people, but when you say something witty back he freaks out and gets all defensive.He throws others belongings around,even breaks them. He acts like a Martyr. I've tried my best with it and i am wearing thin. I've tried Buddhist Studies, Walking away, Ignoring, Avoiding contact and conversation. EVERYTHING. When you walk away he'll follow you, it doesn't matter where either. Anyone have any new ideas on what to do.
2007-10-13 17:24:14 · 10 answers · asked by Colleen B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Dangerous situation i must say. It's not really anything you can do, Maybe choose to move out of the home with another relative. If your parents can't control this angry most likely drug addict there is nothing you can do. Obviously there is at least one parent in the house. And it's their monster they have created in some way. Stay clear of him and don't try to chastise him. That's not your job anyway. Learn to keep your mouth shut and see and don't see. If He is breaking a law call the police quietly. Maybe some one else here can give you real sound advice. One thing for sure we have learned lately is that these type of personalities are time bombs eventually blowing up. Just relay this to our country's school shooting .The children exercised the same personalities.
2007-10-13 17:44:33 · answer #1 · answered by MS Williams 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, here's something I didn't see on your list.
Slap him right across the face and tell him to shut up. I'm not being sarcastic. Kids need discipline, regardless of age. The only way he does what he does is because you're either terrified of him, or are hoping this kind of behaviour will go away all on its own. Believe me, it won't.
He's just a mean kid with too much rotten attitude. Completely spoiled and unchecked, by the sound of it. So bring him back down to earth with a smack, for everyone's sake, his included. Better you than someone who'd do him a whole lot more harm.
2007-10-13 17:28:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
First of all, don't hurt your brother.
He sounds like a kid who is just having a rough time with life right now. He seems angry or maybe sad. Why not ask your brother why he does what he does? Tell him if he needs someone to talk to, you're there.
It sounds to me like he needs to see a professional counsler. If he get s abusive tell your parents, and tell them how you're scared maybe they'll make them go to his room. If he starts destorying things.. well then it's obviously HIS stuff he's destorying. Maybe after his tantrum and he sees all his crushed possessions he'll know what it felt like for the other people and their stuff being broken.
Looks like he needs privledges and major grounding taken away for harming other peoples stuff, he needs discipline. He sounds afraid of back-talk, so when he does stuff he's not suppose then tell your parents. Maybe they'll yell back and he'll be more afraid to the stuff he use to, and will start to avoid it.
I even suggest you talking to a counsler. They are really good resources and can provide solutions and will be there if you need someone to talk to!
2007-10-13 17:45:55 · answer #3 · answered by Goose Feet 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
While your brother may be very difficult to live with (I realize that is an understatement) He is not your responsibility.
The responsibility of putting your brother straight lies with his mom, & possibly his father, but I suspect that dear ole dad is somehow out of the picture.
Your only responsibility is to YOURSELF.
What I mean is you are responsible to require your mother to protect you from the bullying behaviour of your brother.
If she fails you, then you have a right to seek help from other adults that you feel you can trust to help you protect yourself.
Another thing you might consider, is taking some self-defence instruction in Karate, or other martial art.
Then if your brother physically assaults you, you will be better prepared to defend yourself.
Further to looking after yourself, is don't try to fight your moms battles for her. She's an adult, so she needs to learn how to take charge of her son on her own, it's just not your job to intervene, & as his sister, you are not an authority figure in his life (that's supposed to be your mom). You stepping in doesn't help to defuse the situation. I'll bet when you look back on the times you attempted to help, you will discover that things usually escalated from there.
I could offer you lot's of ideas as to why I think your brother is behaving the way he does, but as I said. That is not your job to worry about those things.
It's your mom's job, so she's the one who needs to be going out into the world looking for the answers she needs to help her son.
So look after yourself.
I know it doesn't appear to you this way, but your brother is actually suffering with the way he is behaving right now.
I hope for everybodies sake that your mom gets busy & does something about it soon, so that he gets better.
2007-10-13 17:45:23 · answer #4 · answered by No More 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you and your mom need to get on the same page as to how to handle your brother.
At what point does your mom intend to become a parent? She should have been instilling discipline all along. Why is she so shocked at his behavior now? This is what she cultivated!
She needs to draw the line on what behavior she will and will not tolerate. She needs to step up and administer discipline. She needs to be a parent. She should probably go to his school for an appointment with the counselors there, and get referrals to get him assistance.
This kid is already at critical mass and he needs to be gotten under control.
You need to get a keyed lock on your bedroom door and use it to keep him out of your stuff. Keep the key around your neck. Establish that room as your safe haven.
Don't hesitate to call him down on his trashy behavior.
2007-10-13 19:10:05 · answer #5 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My brother was like that when he was a teen. Turns out he was on drugs & just very selfish. Our relationship was just pretty much non-existent until he matured. Your mom probably knows that is how teenagers act. Don't worry about her too much. She's an adult & can handle it even though I'm sure it bothers her.
2007-10-13 17:29:11 · answer #6 · answered by em 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Same here just dosnt cuss and Break things talks back to parent yell at them too...
2007-10-13 17:28:08 · answer #7 · answered by jessica b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your school counselor about his behavior. It may escalate and he may hurt your or your Mom....or both of you. He needs help and it doesn't seem that your parents are going to do it. See if the school counselor will help. If not, ask where you can go then. Remember he isn't happy either.
2007-10-13 18:02:19 · answer #8 · answered by Robert J 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First I would have him checked for bipolar disorder by a dr,if he turns out to be healthy the next step would be to send him to military school,where they will straight him out.He needs to learn boundaries,someone needs to show him tough love or he might end up in jail.
2007-10-13 17:49:16 · answer #9 · answered by Georgewasmyfavorite 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your dad is abusing him or hes got a medical problem. If its not that it cause he dosnt know God.
2007-10-13 17:29:31 · answer #10 · answered by theroadwetake 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋