Teenage Help Now!!!!!1?

Question

Ok well im having a huge problem with my 17 year old son. He is a huge brat and wont do anything i say. When ever i try to enforce rules he just screams. If i dont give up after that he says he wont eat or he will kill himself. What should i do?

I hate to say it but im on the verge of punching him

Answer 1

Why are you so surprised at this?
You can't be his friend and his parent at the same time. Choose to be the parent.
Quit caving into his puerile emotional blackmail. If he says he hates you, then GOOD. If he starves himself, then good! 17 is way too old to be throwing tantrums. He is not going to kill himself.

Enforce the rules, double up your belt and start spanking him, if that is what it takes! You've got an unruly dog that you have to train. Get hard. Get professional help if you have to.
His survival as an adult depends on your success here.

If you can't get him under control FAST, you need to kick him out until he is willing to live with your rules! Your rules include cleaning up after himself, doing his assigned chores, going to school, and doing his studies. This is not a lot to do.

You need to prepare him for the adult world. He should be holding at least a part-time job at this point.

Answer 2

Well, what kind of rules are you trying to enforce? It sounds to me like you are getting involved in pointless power struggles. At 17 he is pretty close to an adult and your influence time has passed its peak. Be patient, in another 5 years he will think you less of an idiot.

Don't sweat the small stuff. I wouldn't worry about his room - let him live in squalor, if you are still doing his laundry - stop, if he leaves stuff around throw it in a bin and tape a sign on it that it goes in the garbage on a specific date - and then toss it. Don't discuss, state what is going to happen (that is within your control) and then do it. Walk away from tantrums.

I had to laugh about the not eating. Lord I would have been grateful if any of my guys had laid off the chow for a while when they were 17. And there you do have a bit of leverage. I assume you buy the groceries and there are some things he likes, and you could forget to buy those things for some time??? It would be a subtle silent hint.

Now kids do commit suicide and you know your son and have the best idea of whether this is a serious threat or not. If you have the least suspicion that it is serious, do some research and see if you can have him committed to a hospital for observation. If he is at all serious, it might save his life. If it is just an empty threat it will become obvious to him that it is a silly ploy.

Finally and this is really, really hard to do but is wonderously effective. For one day each week, treat him as though he was the son of your dreams. If he is surly, respond as though he was charming. Criticize nothing, find something, anything to praise. You only have to start with one day per week, grit your teeth and do it. Watch - it will throw him off.

Good luck

Answer 3

Let's be realistic, is your kid really going to go without food or jump off a building if you try and be a mom? No. It's an excuse to get away with what he wants.

Then again, i haven't ever met your son. Do you actually believe he is the suicidal type? If so i suggest getting a counsler or professional help.

Why not talk to your husband about this situation while you're at it too?

Your son needs to understand, he is the child you are the parent. He lives under your roof, you pay the bills... so he abides by your rules. Why not sit down with your son and tell him how you feel. Remind him, he only has 1 year left of being so "abused" then he can go and do whatever the hell he wants. Be calm and assertive. If he's going to scream, leave the room and come back when he's done. If he going to act like a child, then treat him like one.

Answer 4

You want to punch him but you won't let him go hungry and you believe he will kill himself.

Get a backbone and start being a parent. Give him the rules, tell him the consequences. If he starts screaming, tell him to stop, and if he doesn't then start taking stuff away. Don't give in. If he refuses to eat, that's on him. If he says he is going to kill himself, call the cops and have him taken to a mental hospital. If he does neither, then tell him that as long as he is 17 and you are responsible for him, these are the rules of the house, period. Tell him when he is 18, he is welcome to leave.

Get some counseling, you need to figure out why you did such a poor job with your son.

Answer 5

I would still enforce your rules. Teenagers test the waters and see what they can and can't get away with. If you give into that he'll be walking all over you. Now if he again says to you that
"I won't eat or I'll kill myself" tell him you're going to call the police or some sort of authority due to him being a danger to himself and others. If threatening doesn't work, go for it. It'll teach him good for crying wolf.

Answer 6

DO NOT just do what he says. He is basically throwing a teenage temper tantrum. And if he wants to act like a child, you will treat him like a child. Have him see a psychiatrist. Take all sharp objects out of his room, if needs be, just have a bed in there. And when he screams make him just sit on his bed. If you keep your reaction the same, give it a couple of months and he will stop, after all he is not getting the desired response that he used to come to expect from his screams and threats.

Answer 7

I don't know the answer, but the question hits very close to home. I'm anxious to read everyone answers. Thanks for asking.

Answer 8

leave him alone?!?!?!?!? if he threatens to kill himself and he does... u'll live w/ guilt that you woulda/ coulda/ shoulda done it differently... just do what he says... i guess...