only thing keeping me alive is the pain it would cause my mom... anyone else out there?

Question

suffering from depression, been in treatment for years, nothing's working. the only thing keeping me from alive is the pain it would cause my mother if i were gone. anyone else out there that just can't end it all because of the pain it would cause someone else? its so frustrating. bring on the smart @ss answers, i'm ready for it. i really feel bad for those of you who spend your time writing sarcastic answers.

Answer 1

The only thing that kept me alive was my children. It was bad for a while.
depression sucks...but there is more to you than just your depression. It's hard to remember that when the depression seems to affect everything you do.
When you are feeling especially desolate try this. Focus on something outside of yourself.
Focus on something that has nothing to do with you or your present state of mind. It could be as simple as touching the sidewalk. I know it sounds lame but we tend to retreat more and more into our own minds as we try to self evaluate our circumstances. We forget to come back out of our own heads until all we are aware of is the depression. Get out of your own head for a while. Remember that nothing lasts forever....good or bad. It will get better.
My aunt recently committed suicide and it is not pretty or peaceful....It is not a way to get relief....you can't appreciate the relief if you are decomposing somewhere. Suicide doesn't solve your problem...it only creates lifelong problems for those left behind.
Continue to work with the docs.

Answer 2

I have sooo been there. But if you think about it, your mom will not be the only one going through pain if you were gone. I don't know how old you are, but people at your school or work or something would care too. And your friends (though I don't know about you, but when I felt the way you do, I felt like i had no friends) or even just people that you know. If you were gone, it would affect a loooot more people than you realize. I don't think i was quite as depressed as you seem to be, so I don't know how much I'm helping, but what I did was find something that I loved to do and/or I wanted to get better at. for me it was dancing. Maybe you could find something that you want to get better at, maybe a sport. this will give you at least a little motivation to get through the day. also, turning to God is always an extremely helpful option. And remember that He would NEVER put you through something that He doesn't believe that you can get through.
I really wish you luck...I hope you feel better and see how great you are

Answer 3

Shane, you didn't bring this on yourself. Whoever said that is completely uninformed. Depression is scary and painful. It isn't as eay to overcome as "make new friends", "be happy". It is a battle every day. I know. I have been there. I finally went to my family doctor and told him what was going on. He prescribed Lexapro for me. After 6 months on the medicine with it upped once, I started to feel more normal. After a year and a half, I was back to my old self again and feeling so much better. He stepped me down and I am now at the end of that 3-year journey and off medication. I still feel blue from time to time, but I try to do something that makes me happy, like spending time with my family, or renting my favorite comedy. Start a journal and write down your feelings -- just write without thinking about it. Don't read it right away -- just get the feelings out. That helped me. I hope this all helps you. It ain't easy, but you CAN get through this.

Answer 4

You may benefit from a diet & fitness plan.
Here are some good ideas:


1. Do something that gets your heart rate up a bit like, walking, running, biking, and swimming.

2. Eat Whole, Organic foods like: Broccoli, Cabbage, Organic Brown Rice, Spinach, Sweet Potato, Apples, and other fruits and vegetables in their Natural State.

3. Avoid eating corn, white bread, white rice, candy, sodas, chips, and anything else that you already know you shouldn’t be eating.

4. Drink clean water as your beverage of choice. Avoid Fruit drinks and fruit juices (unless YOU juice them yourself)

5. Stop smoking, drinking beer & wine, and drinking coffee.

6. Get 8 hours of sleep each night.

7. Hang out with people who want to be healthy.

8. Avoid anything with High Fructose Corn Syrup.



Tone up the muscles:


1. Join a gym and get a trainer.

2. If you’re short on cash, start a light stretching & yoga regimen.

3. Do push-ups, and light dumbbell curls for the upper body.

4. As I said above, walk, run, swim, and or bike
5. Take an aerobics class, a yoga class, or some other fitness class.

6. Join the local YMCA..



Mental Health:


1. Get a friend to talk to each day about your feelings.

2. If you have some money or insurance, get a counselor to talk to.

3. Learn how to meditate.

4. Join a support group for the issue you’re dealing with.

5. Ask your Higher Self (or God) for guidance.

6. Start keeping a diary or journal about your feelings & thoughts.

7. Write a ‘gratitude’ list every night.

8. Do something that makes you happy each day like: listen to your favorite music, draw, paint, write, or anything creative.

9. Do something for someone else who needs help

Keep trying different stuff until you find what works for you. Peace to you.

Answer 5

I would write a sarcastic answer if I knew it would help but I feel too much sadness with and for you to do so. It would hurt a lot more than your mother..like a pebble dropped in the pond, the ripple effect is far greater than you can imagine. I just came from a funeral where a friend is a surviver of suicide and there were hundreds of people there who can't sleep or eat in their grief- some of us didn't even know her that much but all of us huring so much. I would hurt like that for you too..I don't know what keeps you locked in the prison of depression but I pray for your release. I pray that one very small thing helps you realize you have a reason to live, a purpose for your life and the strength to get through hard time.
Please, just one hour at a time.......

Answer 6

Hi Shane, good to hear about your mom. She must be one good lady. Glad you have her.

Listen mate, you're not alone, as above ∆∆∆∆ posts show. ☺
Even I've been there. Unfortunately, even the good heart of my loving mother couldn't prevent me from trying to stop the daily pain of living. Thankfully, my suicide attempt didn't succeed, I'm still alive and with my doctor's help me find the right meds to stop the suicidal ideation, finally.

Shane, when the your synapses aren't snapping that's not your fault. Call your doctor. When the medications aren't the right mix, you need a new recipe. Call your doctor.

For your and your mother's sake, call your doctor. You deserve satisfied with your life.

Answer 7

this may sound ignorant, but maybe i just really don't understand. when i hear of people talking like this or committing suicide, i have to wonder what in this world could be so bad. life is a gift. every day people have their lives ripped from them and then we have people who give them up so easily. don't u have any hope? is there nothing that u someday want to be able to do or see? do u not want to fall in love, have a family? anything? there has to be something u long for. i'm glad ur not so selfish that u would do that to ur mom. remember, life is too short as it is and why give up what u may have in the future. someday u'll find something that will make it all worthwhile and then u'll be thankful ur still alive. u'll start wishing u had more time. i know it's hard at the time, but when ur feeling depressed, try not to obsess over it. think about anything that makes u happy. like u said, u wouldn't want to do that to ur mom. ur mom must really love u. focus on that. be happy that u have a mom and she loves u. some people don't even have that. love urself. time will make things easier. u'll learn how to deal with it better and one day u'll understand. i hope everything gets better for u.

Answer 8

you just described all familys... and life its not your family its the world they live in .. all familys have the same exact problems.. and stop saying **** i have tried to stop the word **** for the last fifty years JESUS.. who writes this stuff explain everything to everyone JESUS. no you dont wanna leave home thats the number one cause of depression.. the devil tells people to leave home or the devil just yanks young people out of their own homes .. when they really wana stay home .. eventuallyyou would be old enough to leave and start a life.. you have to tell parents that you cant control live and some how we all have to stop the blame game and pray for your parents too.. i dont know why everyone gets beat up and things thrown at them all.. satan i guess .. i think this is hell. this isnt solving your problem.. grounded is stupid but parents dont know what else to do .. just love your parents.. that will help you more than you can ever know.. and i dunno about cigs and weed. im anti both big time but we all smoked both cause satan made us do it.. find something in your own house to live for anyhow even if its just helping your parents around the house and you cant be grounded forever from your girlfriend ..who knows just dont think suicide.. one day at atime and i wish i dont read these kindsa questions.. your friend is not really your friend.. get some paper and draw and stopwhining...GOD BLESS.

Answer 9

Yes. I felt the exact same way as a teenager. My mother was the only person who understood and/or sympathized with me. I'm sorry you feel badly about yourself. I'd go back and try some things. Something will fit eventually, trust me.

Answer 10

Did you ever consider changing therapists? I just can't believe there isn't someone out there who can help you. I would keep trying to find a solution. Hang in there.


People who criticize simply do not understand.