My 5 Yr. old won't cooperate?

Question

We are trying to get him ready for school next year but he won't even hear of learning to write his name address and all of the things he needs to know to test into kindergarten. I need ideas, anything. Please help.

The problem with leaving him alone is that you can't now. They have to know these things before they can begin school. That is why it is a problem. And we do not force either child into anything, i just need creative new ways to inspire him t o want to learn. And when you ask him if he wants to go to school, he says no! He is an odd child with everything he does.

and you don't put a child in time out for not wanting to learn. or take things from them. Talk about tramatizing a child...omg

IN PA you have to know how to write your name, address, phone number, colors, shapes, sequences, and a lot of other odd things that I have never heard of. The saddest thing is that I always thought our kids went to school to learn, not have to be pre taught and then go to school.

Answer 1

If he's really resisting the pencil/crayons/paper approach and you've tried playing "school" with him where he is the teacher and you do the writing, then trying to swap, then you might try some sneakier approaches.

For example, get the colored soap-crayons for the bathtub and have him write on the walls and on himself. At first have him just practice the first letter of his name and write it everywhere in the tub. You can tease him with another letter and have him fix it. If he won't hold the crayon in the tub, then you write it everywhere and see if you can get him to trace it.

Put him in a swimsuit and steam up the shower and have him write it in the steam. Having him trace the letters with his finger is a good first step.

Use a stick to write in the dirt/sandbox.

Make a craft of a name-plate for his door. Have him write his name in glue and glitter it.

Cut out paper letters and have him find the ones in his name, arrange and glue.

Collect pebbles and line them up into letters and have him identify them. Then have him take a turn and have you guess.

Get him his own dry-erase board.

Use a painted board and glue a clothespin or 2 on it, and hang it on the wall to display "his best work". When he makes his name on a paper, pin it up for all to see and show it to daddy and visitors with pride.

Let him use washable markers on the sliding windows, then clean up.

Driveway chalk.

Buy several cheap cans of shaving cream and have him write his name on the sidewalk with it, then hose off. Or, make a pond of shaving cream in the dry tub and have him use his finger to write in it.

At 5, he has a distinct idea of how he'd like to spend his time. Let him know that he gets to choose his favorite activity for you to do with him just as soon as he's written his name twice.

If you can't get him to write, get him to trace. Make dotted versions of his name in a word processor and print out sheets for him to trace.

If you think he's got a resistant attitude in general to school and all schoolwork, work on giving him 2 acceptable choices and lots of encouragement. If you think he's scared of school, talk to him about his fears, visit school and observe the children having fun, provide lots of encouragement for things he does "just like kindergarteners", and practice playing school at home. If you think he has a "perfectionist" attitude and won't try things unless he's sure he can do them well, be encouraging for the smallest effort and make light of the importance of the activities. If he's having trouble holding a pencil properly or with fine-motor skills, work on improving those with pencil grips or activities with rice, beads or other small manipulatives to sort.

Before kindergarten, I don't know that they need to be able to write their address, but you'd like for them to recognize and write their name, recognize the letters and have some awareness of their sounds, recognize numbers and colors, and hold a pencil or crayon properly. You'd like him to be able to draw a circle, a few parallel lines, and a stick figure self-portrait.

Good luck to you, and don't worry too much! Once he's in school, he'll probably try really hard to please the teacher and make gains very quickly!

Answer 2

Will the school you are attempting to put him in not allow him in if he does not know these things??? I have never heard of such a thing and would not advocate ANY sort of school that sifts through and discriminates against a 5 year old for not knowing "enough". I am a former educator and taught in both public and private school. In the private school, they also "tested" children entering Kindergarten. All the parents were under so much stress because they just "had" to get little Johnny into this fabulous school. What they didn't know though and what MOST parents don't know about private schools is that the reason they test incoming Kindergarteners is to make sure they only have the best students, so they can boast about their test scores, etc...I have had 2 children so far go through public school Kindergarten and 1st of all, they did not have such a thing as testing into Kindergarten. They went just as any other child would go and then after several weeks of school, they began evaluating each child to see where they were at academically, socially and emotionally. If a child did not know a certain skill yet, then they were taught it. Isn't that what school is for??? It seems to me that you really should re-think placing your child in an environment where he will be under the microscope and expected to do things that he may or may not be ready for! School should be fun, especially Kindergarten. A 5 year old who has already failed in the eyes of this school you are talking about before even starting is not something you will want to deal with, trust me. Oh, and by the way- if you read studies on gifted children, they will point out that most gifted children at that age are not the least bit interested in anything academic that they are forced to do.

Answer 3

As a childcare provider i help parents prepare their children to enter school. The best way to teach children.. especially at that age is to make it fun. Alphabet magnets are a great way to begin, preschool workbooks (you can buy them at walmart) and even some video's now days help to teach letters sounds and word building. You can also make file folder games where he has to match the letters. Try leapster videos if you would like to use the videos as an introduction to letters and sounds. As long as it feels fun, and is enough to keep his attention he will pick it up. The more you push the harder he will push back and may in turn not enjoy his first year in school. I would not worry too much about it if he is not writing. Being around other school agers who write and do the things has has fought you on will only peek his interest and he will want to do what the others do as well. Good luck!

Answer 4

Maybe you could start by approaching the situation in the most non-pressure way for him. Try making a game of it. Whatever his name is, let's pretent it's Sean, start by sitting down near him and simply writing his name. DO NOT try to make him participate or force him to come see what you are doing. You simply have a blast writing his name several times on a piece of paper. Write it in different colors, draw pictures to go with each letter, whatever. Make sure and say things like " Oh, I like it better this way." or whatever exclamations are natural to you and would get his attention on his own.
Nearly all children are naturally curious, though you may have to do this several times over a few days before his curiosity gets the better of him. You can then ask if he would like to try to write one of the letters(start with a little bit at a time). Once he is engaged, you can try playing games like "I'm going to see how fast I can make an S, do you want to race me?" Keep it up until gradually, over days or even weeks, you are racing him to write his whole name.
There are so many non-pressure games, songs and other such approaches that can be taken with children so young. You never know when a child is ready for such a big step in their little lives, so some rules of thumbs are: always strive to be patient, never assume the worst of your child, keep things as light and non-threatening as possible, encourage rather than reprimand whenever possible, and ALWAYS act with love(even when you patience has been tested to an end)

If discipline concerning cooperation is the heart of the issue, I would suggest checking out the web site of Michael and Debbi Pearl, I believe it's calles NoGreaterJoy.com.
Their advice concerning raising children is very down to earth and helpfull, especially if you are coming from a Christian world view.
*Caution* as with all advice: take what makes sense and seems beneficial and leave what doesn't sit well with you.

Answer 5

Are you in Australia? If so, you can order specially printed personalised storybooks which incorporate your child's name, address, birthday, friends, etc into the story. If you read it to him/with him regularly, it will guide him into enjoying reading & learning that information off by heart. When the book is about him - he will get such a kick out of it!

They do regular stories (e.g. My Dinosaur Adventure, My Special Christmas Adventure),and now they even do the character stories (e.g. My Adventures with Nemo, My Adventures with Cars - these will work well if they are a favourite character of your son's).

They only cost $12.95 ea plus P&H, and they also make a nice keepsake. The company name is Identity Direct, and you can order by phone, fax, or on the net. Here are the details:

Ph: 02 8594 7960
Fax: [phone]
Web: www.identitydirect.com.au

I hope this helps you. Do not stress too much about the issue, otherwise he will pick up on your fears and this will exacerbate the problem.

Best of luck.

Answer 6

Ask him what he wants to be when he grows up. Tell him he cannot do whatever he chooses without going to school, and that he has to learn to read and write in order to do so. Use a reward system. Go to Walmart and get Pre-school books that help practice writing letters, numbers, etc. When he completes a book let him pick a special treat, like a trip to the ice cream parlor, or go to the $ store and let him choose a couple of toys.

Answer 7

omgosh! Leave him alone! Don't push him. I believe the teachers would rather they don't know because they want them to learn the teacher's way. He will learn in school because the teacher has a way with them. Maybe you should have him in preschool. Please don't worry until the teacher tells you she recommends him for testing. I'm sure you are more of a worry wart than you need to be. Just keep loving him.

Answer 8

Make learning fun. Make a song of his name and address. If you try to force it he will fight back. I have magnet letters on the refrigerator door and I make it a game to make words out of them. But the most important thing is to make it fun.

Answer 9

Try making a game out of it... Kids love to play, have like races or something, be creative. That's what I do when I want the kids I baby sit to do something they don't want too.

Answer 10

Have you tried time out?
Or having another person try to teach him those things?

Take away something he really likes and tell him he is not getting it back until he learns to do those things.