I can't go eat anywhere with my 19 month old son!!!!!?

Question

Grrr!!! My 19-month old has these tantrums! We can't go anywhere...church, quiet shopping stores, or restaurants. I'm so envious when I see people with their babies or lil kids his exact age who can at least sit for 30 minutes somewhere! Is this normal for his age? Nothing works. He can't sit at a restaurant table without destroying the salt/sugar bowl thingy! When you take something away from him, he screams loud! Today my hubby lightly smacked his hands after he refused to stop smashing the bread at a restaurant! He hit my hubby back!!! The firm word of NO does not help at all!! He is an angel at daycare, but comes home and immediately throws tantrums!!! I'm fed up and hate even taking him anywhere!!!! Is this our fault of just part of the normal parenting/child process because everyone i know has very mild mannered children. He was slightly colic from month 1-2 months and that was HELLLLL!! I'm so depressed he's like this...should I be?

Today we had to leave a restaurant after ordering our food because of his tantrum. Hubby took him out to the car and i had the waiter just pack everything up to go!! It's so frustratingggggggg!!!!!

Update....* after reading all these totally opposite opinions and suggested...i've just realized to not post parenting advice questions....

everyone has their own opinion...and the last lady i read who thinks smacking their kids is "stooping to their level" just took the cake for me...that's insane

Answer 1

If he has a tantrum, pick him up and leave. Do not do anything fun with him afterwards. You have to be firm and consistent and not hit him. Only animals hit their young.

Answer 2

Mom, I know this isn't what you want to hear, but it's really quite simple. You gotta' eat at home right now. Kids go through stages where they can't sit still in a restaurant. Either you eat at home for a few months or figure out a way to entertain them until the food comes.

Here are some suggestions if you MUST take the kids to a restaurant:

Make sure they are good and hungry

Make sure you bring your own coloring books and crayons

We sometimes bring our laptop and put a DVD on while we are dining. If the volume is lo enough, noone will complain.

Bring enough table toys to keep them entertained while you are there.

And finally, don't take the opportunity to go out to dinner as a free pass to relax. Accept the fact that you will have to comstantly entertain them......that is until dessert comes :)

Answer 3

Question when he throw a tantrum at home what do you do and what does your husband do? When my son has a melt down I ignore him(as long as I know he won't hurt himself). He knows how to push all the right buttons with you. When we go out I plan ahead. I bring special toys just for travel and when we sit down I immediately remove from his reach anything I don't want him to play with. When he melts down while your out if you can let him just do his thing as long as he won't hurt himself or others. If not take him to the bathroom and let him melt. Also ask the daycare if you can come and watch to see what they are doing and ask questions about what they do when he get close to a melt down. When you are out to eat bring some snacks. Food is still fun for him at this age so to him the whole world is a toy. Also when you talk to him hold both hands and look directly into his eyes and tell him that it hurts mommy when he is acting badly and that you want him to stop. I would also talk to the pediatrician and your own doctor to find some help. Parenting classes might also help.(I took them and still do with each age group). When he melts ask your self is he hungry, tired, frustrated, or bored. remember he doesn't have the word to state how he feels so crying is his only way of letting his feelings out. Hope this help you.

Answer 4

"Today my hubby lightly smacked his hands after he refused to stop smashing the bread at a restaurant! He hit my hubby back!!!" What do you expect? You teach a child to hit, they are going to hit! Obviously your husband has taught his son very well. Stop being envious of other people and start learning how to discipline your child. That's the difference between your child and their's they DISCIPLINE...You obvioulsy HIT. My daughter acted up in public ONCE, I took her straight home and didn't allow her to go anywhere with me for months, until I could be sure that she wasn't going to act up again in public. I would either leave her with her dad, or a babysitter or would trade of kid watching with the other mother's in the neighborhood. After a few months she begged to let her go with me so I said fine...she was an ANGEL. She walked along side me without running off, if I said "no" to her getting something she accepted it (ok she gave a little "huff" but that was it), at the end of the outing we went to the bookstore (her favorite place) got a couple of books then went for ice cream. It's called behavior and reward. You ignore the naughty behavior by using time outs or leaving a child behind and reward the good with a treat at the end of the outing. I never felt the need to let go of my intelligence and stoop to hitting my child at any time. And her terrible twos were very bad.


Obviously from your last comments you don't have the intelligence to parent effectively without hitting your child...but like I also said...your husband hitting your child has resulted in your child learning how to hit back...WONDERFUL...I can see this poor child having problems in school because dad taught him how to hit so he is going to be hitting kids in school because he won't always get his way. The best part will be the fights he gets into during his teens.

Answer 5

I know most parents go through this..i havent yet..but i am sure i will experience it soon..its just part of parenting.

What i do with my son (14 months) ..when me & hubby go out..is we take him 1-2 toys that we know he likes.. we take him 2 sippy cups.. one with water, and the other one with a bit of juice, we also take him a little dessert like a home made muffin. so while we eat..we give him those things, so keep him entertained, sometimes we dont take him nothing to eat..and we give him some of the food we are having..like a bit of potatoes..or a bit of the salad and things like that..make him feel involved.
There has been a few times where he was started complaining a little bit, and we just start talking to him and start adding him in the converstation..and encourge him to play with the toys..i think the times he has complained had been because maybe he felt left out..as me and hubby were talking..and we not looking or playing with our son..so maybe your child feels left out ?

If things just keep getting worse..like someone mentioned..talk to his daycare ..and ask what they do when a child is throwing a tantrum..

usually ignoring them works..as they know that if they throw a tantrum..and you give into them..they know what to do everytime they want your attention.

My son has thrown mini tantrums at home..and we just ignore him..and/or turn our backs to him ..so that he knows that him acting that way is not going to get our attention.

Answer 6

Honey your not the only one. I have no adivce to give on how to quiet him down since I'm dealing with the same thing. My 15 month old daughter is just as bad if not worse. We cant eat out in public with her. It's embarassing. She's having her I can do it myself even tho I really cant phase. She'd rather play with everything around and knock things over and make a mess than eat her food. She'll scream, climb out of highchairs no matter how secure we make them and cause a scene. My own mother wont even watch her for me because she's such a handfull. Nothing like my 5 yr old when she was litle. She was an angel. you could take her anywhere. But my 15 month old.. I need super nanny.. I rip my hair out even in my own house because she's soo into everything and wants to do it all by herself. And on top of that we have a 3 level townhome and I cant leave the room without her screaming to the point of making herself sick. It's a nightmare. I get depressed plenty when she's like that. We can only hope they'll outgrow this stage and behave better later on down the road.

Answer 7

I know what you mean. My child is 16 months and has issues like this too sometimes. It seems like everyone else's kids behave whenever I go anywhere. I have to admit I laugh inside when someone else's kid misbehaves! lol Anyway, maybe you should try getting a babysitter. Seriously, he's probably going through a stage and he's still just a baby. Good luck and hang in there mom!

Answer 8

My 19, very almost 20mo previous is going via comparable, not each and all the time, yet multiple the time recently. on a daily basis it truly is a distinctive trick for us. now and returned an identical element works two times, yet not constantly! while all else fails I actually are starting to be into the terrible undesirable habit of distraction by potential of cookie! LOL :P

Answer 9

lol, my daughter is 2 and use to be a lot like that, now she is a little better, but she has a lot of energy, and a strong will (oh and i spoil her too much) he will probably get better with time, but make sure you don't let him get away with that at home first... just keep trying to teach him what is and is not okay, i still have to leave church early often, but i think kids should be allowed to be kids! oh and try not to spoil him, and give in when he screams, it'll make it harder to teach him that your the parent. try to ignore the tantrums... it'll be hard,(and embaressing) especially in public! my daughter throws fits in the middle of the mall, and in the hall at church, i have learned i have to be stronger then her, and not give in...
good luck, and be persistant!

Answer 10

Sounds like he knows just how to push your buttons and how much he can get away with since he doesnt manifest this behavior at day care. Continue to be firm and set limits and be consistent with discipline. I too had a child who was like this. My other children were much better behaved. This son was later diagnosed with ADHD so talk with your pediatrician to rule this out. For my son natural foods and no sugar helped to calm him down.