I am 30, he is 47. We are really attracted to each other but he wants me to do most of the calling, and when I don't call after a few days, he wonder's why. I don't want to chase a man around. Isn't it supposed to work the opposite way? He is an excellent kisser (very rare these days!) but I don't know how much longer I can do things this way.
2007-10-13 12:53:36 · 6 answers · asked by emily w 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
No, it's not supposed to work the other way. If you have something to say, or if you have something to ask, you call. Ditto for him.
If he's more bother than he's worth, move on.
2007-10-13 13:03:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's really attracted to you then he'd call more often. Men pursue what is valuable to them. They will bend over backwards for a lady who they adore.
You are probably a wonderful, attractive woman with many nice qualities but I am going to make a huge leap (since we don't hear his side of the story).
1) He likes you but isn't in love with you.
2) You had sex with him too soon in the relationship and he has no incentive to work for the relationship anymore since you are readily sexually available with no commitment. (This is null and void if he's in love with you, but if he was, he'd be calling and making plans etc.)
You are wise to not want to chase him. Maybe he's hot and a great kisser but not "The Man" for you!
Why not have a gentle, nonaccusatory conversation with him where you give him the opportunity to cut his losses. Let him know how much he means to you, but you are CONCERNED because he never calls or makes plans.
Then stay silent, and give him an opportunity to tell you how he feels.
He's 47 and you are never going to change him. You can guilt him into calling you, but is that what you want?
Good luck!
2007-10-13 13:12:33 · answer #2 · answered by Aubrey C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he wants you to do all of the calling, it is a clear indication that he wants you to lead the relationship. If things progress, you could end up in a relationship that pins you as a second mother to this man. Old habits die hard and it is very difficult to teach an old dog new tricks. I would suggest moving on and trying to find another good kisser, or at least a younger bad kisser that you can teach the ropes to.
2007-10-13 13:07:39 · answer #3 · answered by Parkie21 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
17 years age difference is big.
Yes, it is supposed to work the other way around, he sounds lazy. And, wants everything his way. Let it go and see how much he chases you, if he doesnt chase you then, hes not interested and only using you.
2007-10-13 13:22:02 · answer #4 · answered by Winters child 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like way too much work. I would stop calling him. If he wants to spend time with you and you aren't happy with his rules, let him find a way to chase you. You have a huge age span between you. At your age, you shouldn't have to chase a man. At his age, he should know better.
2007-10-13 14:24:25 · answer #5 · answered by dawnb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do is to talk to him about it. And well done you for feeling that way. You're stronger than most women!
2007-10-13 13:01:43 · answer #6 · answered by ravebaby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋