when asked to please eat something he throws it!!! Like last night My husband told him to please eat a few bites of his potatoes ...he(hubby) put it on his(our sons) sppon and said here please try it..and he flipped the spoon trhowing potaotes on my husband.....so my hubby swatted hima nd sent him to is room...he has done this several times and we usually do timeouts...is spanking a 6 year old an appropriate punishment for acting this way? I ahte spanking the kids..but if i dont hubby gets upset with me...any advice?
2007-10-13 11:11:42 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
Sounds like some behavior issues there that won't be solved by spanking. But he definitely needs to be shown that this behavior isn't going to win him any friends.
You're going to need to make the punishment fit the crime, so to speak. Spanking doesn't give him any food consequences.
Perhaps he needs the spoon taken away (I know it's messy, but he'll get the hint when he has a hard time eating without it!) when it happens, or maybe he needs to have someone feed him like a baby the next time he tries it (I know it sounds awful, but you explain it: "If you can't feed yourself properly without making a mess, we're going to have to teach you all over again").
Without being there to witness the meal I'm a little at a loss to give specific advice, but the most important thing is to not lose your cool-- he's getting a rise out of your husband (and you)-- and getting out of eating what he doesn't want to eat! He needs to perhaps be removed from the table, and put somewhere apart from you (but in the same room) to eat when he does that. And if he continues this behavior, he is sent to his room... and the next time he's hungry that same food comes out (heated up, of course)... until he gets the hint that this isn't going to be a battle of wills that HE wins!
2007-10-13 12:32:52 · answer #1 · answered by LJG 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know the saying, "Spare the rod...." If it was just a single swat, I don't think that was effective. The child thinks, "That's it? That's not too bad; I can handle that!" Then, he'll do it over and over again. Give him 5 or 6 swats. Shows you mean business and he'll definitely think twice before doing that again. I know it's hard to do and you feel like a bad person but, rather a swat than.... say a jolt of electricity or getting run over by a car, right?
Another thing.... swats will bring obedience but, probably not understanding. He'll wonder why he got swat; what's the big deal? Sometimes an explanation will reinforce what you are trying to teach your kid. Remember, though, there is a line drawn between discipline and abuse.
2007-10-13 18:28:11 · answer #2 · answered by slobberknocker_usa 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Spanking, as long as it is not crossing lines of abuse, is fine. I can understand if you don't like it, but I got spanked, my cousins got spanked, my bf got spanked and we all turned out to be fine, completely well functioning adults. However, after a while, children do not see it as a threat anymore. Especially if parents do not follow through on punishment. You need to "up the ante" and suspend any privileges he finds enjoyable and DO NOT BACK DOWN until this behaviour stops. Explain to him that his behaviour is not acceptable and he will have to go without things he enjoys as punishment. He can have them back when he learns the proper way to act. You have to stick to your guns 100%. If he sees you back down he will know you are a pushover and you will have lost him.
2007-10-13 18:22:08 · answer #3 · answered by Lady Geologist 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
While I don't disagree with spanking a child who earns it, this situation seems like one where the child is baiting you for attention. While negative attention isn't ideal, it's still attention, so don't give him what he wants. Discuss with him at a time BEFORE mealtimes what is to be expected when he is at the table. If he does something rude or behaves inappropriately, take him by the arm and lead him to his room and shut the door. Don't say a word to him, and do this whole process as calmly as possible. He's trying to push your buttons. Don't let him.
2007-10-13 22:00:42 · answer #4 · answered by missbeans 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Simply put, you are accomodating him , in some way.
Set the rules, and stick by them. If he throws food, he can clean it up, and not receive more, the next time. Over time, he will realize that throwing food will reduce his own access to food.
Portion control, and withholding portions when food is thrown, may get his attention. Good luck.
simply put, you are accomodating him, in some way.
2007-10-13 18:19:56 · answer #5 · answered by mentalben 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should try a different type of punishment. Take away something he likes, i think spanking isn't appropriate for any age. I like to think we as a society don't have to use physical punishment to get what we want anymore.
2007-10-13 18:15:24 · answer #6 · answered by xzorion54 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Don't ASK him to eat, put food in front of him if he throws it send him to his room without dinner or anything else until breakfast. He doesn't NEED to be hit that only teaches the child that the parent doesn't have the intelligence to deal with the child effectively without hitting.
2007-10-13 21:18:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I agree with your husband. Spank and send to bed hungry. After a few time he'll stop.
2007-10-13 19:03:59 · answer #8 · answered by Laura B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell your son if you don't smarten up then mom & dad are gonna start feeding you! and that will be embarsing .
Tell him he has one more chance to stop the food throwing or else hes gonna have to eat his dinner by hiself.
2007-10-13 21:45:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
did he throw up ? ?
2007-10-13 18:30:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋