And other sexual things. Like I know some are just purely in it for it but I guess there's others who aren't but would be to an extent.
I've never had a boyfriend or a relationship with a guy mainly because I don't like the idea of being used.
2007-10-13 10:35:56 · 60 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No, not all are. There are certaily some out there that while sex is important, its not everything, no more than it is to me(true intimacy is great!). And that goes for all ages - Ive known some really great men from teenagers to their 40s in my life, and I've never felt used, since I've been selective in whom I date, and don't just jump into bed on the first date to make sure that they are what they seem. They arent all pigs.
2007-10-13 10:38:02 · answer #1 · answered by Learning Conformity 5 · 4⤊ 1⤋
It's a little more complicated than that. Just looking at an attractive female face triggers the reward centers in men's brains (see article below). So a man can enjoy dating for physiological reasons even without sex occurring.
Sex is the whole point of dating for most people, even when the long-term goal is marriage. That's why they (heterosexual people) go to so much trouble to date the opposite sex.
I'm not sure why you think of this as being "used". The real question is does the guy also like you as a person, or does he ONLY want sex? If you always keep people at arms length emotionally, they never have a chance to find out if they like you or not, so the only choice left is to use you or ignore you.
2007-10-13 10:56:39 · answer #2 · answered by Lazy G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Hanna, The first thing that happens in a relationship is physical attraction. How many ugly guys have you wanted to date the first second you saw him. Guys love sex. There just made that way. What you do with that information is up to you. You can use or be used. You should go out and have fun but set the standards for the relationship that you would like. Just be in control of your own life.
2007-10-13 11:02:36 · answer #3 · answered by osok48 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
most guys? yes
ALL guys? no
when you go out there, there are guys that only want the physical part in a relationship but yet there are the most marvelous guys that are into well the real you
start w/a guy friend first. if you have been friends w/him 4 a long time give him a chance!
my bf was my best friend ever! it was because we were friends that bought us together! if you pick a random person I'll bet you anything that most of them are only looking for sex. not all but most. the only ok part in having a boyfriend that has sex w/you is if you have been together long enough that BOTH of you are ready. having sex just because the guy wants to is absolutely NOT OK!! make sure that you're relationship is like 'being friends that has gone in fire' (in the good way)
hope it helps!
GOOD LUCK
Angie
2007-10-13 10:50:16 · answer #4 · answered by Deleted 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nobody wants to be used but you can't live from a place of fear either. If you're not ready for sex, then don't do it. No matter what, I suggest you avoid having sex with someone too early in the relationship. If he has a problem with waiting, there's your clue about what he's after. He may care about you but he also cares more about the sexual aspect than it sounds like you'd prefer. You're gonna date a lot of guys along the way. Don't plan on settling down with the first or second one. It's VERY unlikely that you'll marry the guy you date in high school.
2007-10-13 10:40:15 · answer #5 · answered by jehovah_nostra 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Don't listen to any girl on here that let her self get used over and over again and now hates men.
Yes sex is a major part of a committed relationship. If I guy is willing to commit to a relationship and everything that goes with it, then no he wouldn't be in it just for the sex. When you date someone just take time to get to know them and don't rush into anything. If someone is trying to rush you, that should tell you right away what their agenda is. Remember time is a key issue, if you wait long enough a person will show you their true character.
2007-10-13 10:43:17 · answer #6 · answered by firefrost8k 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot are only into sex until they reach their thirties unfortunately. But don't fret, there are a few good souls out there. You just need to be careful. If you don't want to be used for sex then don't sleep with them for the first several months. First it will keep you from developing a reputation for being easy, thus keeping away some of the sleazeballs. Secondly, if they are only in it for the "action", they will quickly disappear when they realize that's not what you are into. Hope this helps!
2007-10-13 10:45:07 · answer #7 · answered by Imbue 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on the guy. Yes, plenty of them are out there just trying to get as much sex as possible from as many girls as possible. Kind of like sampling a box of Whitman's Samplers. It is best to wait to date until you are a Senior in high school or in college. Then you don't run into it as much. The truly scary part is you don't know what STDs they are giving you as a gift or even Herpes (the gift that keeps on giving). Sadly, many guys that played around in high school find out years later that they have a child. Now with DNA there is no denying the fatherhood. That presents a real problem for a guy. Now he has to deal with the girl he barely knew when he had sex with her.....now will be forced to pay child support for the next 20 years. Mr. Right will come along. It is smart of you to wait. You will be the envy of your friends in 10 years.
2007-10-13 10:41:15 · answer #8 · answered by Julie H 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I also haven't been in a serious relationship w/ a girl yet. So once I do make that special connection w/ a female, it'll b up 2 me weather I want 2 spend a lengthy amt. of thyme w/ her or if it's only just 2 get laid (4 lack of better words). As 4 my opinion on the question in general, I think guys do pursue girls just 2 sleep w/ them. Something about conquests & the thrill of the hunt.
2007-10-17 10:33:11 · answer #9 · answered by The Glorious S.O.B. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's true at least for a while, until they mature, they are in it for the sex more than anything else. But that doesn't mean there are not guys out there that will respect your limits and enjoy spending time with you for who you are. Hold on, it sounds like you are on tract. When a good guy comes around and you get the right feeling you will know it. Then it's up to you! More power to GIRLS.
2007-10-13 10:46:27 · answer #10 · answered by ontheedge 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, sadly most guys from the age of about 14-19, all they think about, 24 hours a day is sex. they want a hot girlfriend, so all their friends at least THINK they are having sex. some of the really classy guys curb this desire and respect their girlfriends. most, though, are not so respectful and are only in it for sex, and if they cant get that, then at least getting to third base. they can't really help it, their hormones are just RAGING insanely, but they can and should curb it for the respect of their girl. but that doesnt often happen. so in answer to your question: most of the time, yes. find a classy guy. you'll be much happier and unused.
2007-10-13 10:46:34 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋