Can you imagine what it would feel like if you dropped ALL resentments, grudges, toward those who wronged you?

Question

Is making the choice to no longer carry resentments toward others the same as forgiving them? Is this done without judgement? If you are able to do this, can you love your neighbor as yourself?
Imagine...................

Been down revenge road, did not serve me....

Ahhhh, Sweet Freedom!

Yes indeed our hate poisons our own blood, stunts our character growth...

Hi innerpeacemom, I could feel by reading your various answers that your slate is clean......awesome.......

neophyte, Bingo! HOW and WHEN do we stop being 'victims' and remove our bandages? Thank you for sharing your 'new, beautiful eyes'..................

midnight rainbow, AMEN! Learning from our mistakes may not mean we 'trust' others but we understand how to forgive them in their suffering and blindness.....thus freeing ourselves from hate....so beautiful......

Passerby, thanks for passing by and reminding me of the 'healing steps'. I will reread this and absorb....

Neophyte, you said a mouthful....
The greatest affliction of the cosmos is never to have been afflicted. Humans only learn wisdom by experiencing tribulation.
The stars of wisdom are best discermed from the lonely isolation of experiential depths, not from the illuminated and ecstatic mountain tops....wowska!

Zoo Zoo, I am so very, very proud of you, reading your Course manual..........
love you neighbor............

Answer 1

"Neither your brother nor yourself can be attacked alone. But neither can accept a miracle instead without the other being blessed by it, and healed of pain....the power to heal your neighbor is given to you because you must be one with him" -course
It would be a miracle to have this ability, a hard one to achieve. BUt just to know what the source of resentment is and why and changing your outlook on the situation and person involved. but frustration builds and oftentimes people wnat to get back in form of revenge, this leaves you at the other persons level and does nothing to better your own well-being. Its "waisted energy" to the max. tough, thought provoking question, damn. I love love love this quote from the course "The only way to heal is to be healed......Who can bestow upon another what he does not have?" an instant of loving without attack upon another would be a miracle. changing yourself for the better influences others, it never changes them. :) WE CANNOT CHANGE OUR NEIGHBOR< ONLY OURSELVES>.

Answer 2

Sometimes I think it can just be as simple as realizing I don't want to live my life in bandages carrying a sign that says "they messed me up". I got to the point many moons ago that I wanted people to see me, not my bandages. At that point it ceased to be about anyone else but me, my reactions & responses. The kickker is yes, it will reqire new eyes. I had to see that much of the time people did not do it to me, they just did it & I happened to be the smuck in the line of fire, if someone else had been standing there they still would have done it. Next I had to come to know that what ever someone throws my way is nothing compared to the demons they live with. It gave me empathy. Were does abuser, user, etc. end & victim begin. Most hateful, angry people have had many abuses & demons to fight, it is what made them that way. Thanks for a great Q.
EDIT: we stop being victims when the pain just becomes more than we are willing to tolerate. The only problem is that we tend to have a very high pain tolerance. It's sad but true, here most of us are motivated to make changes only when it hurts, why would I ever change anything or work on growing if I was always warm & comfy. The good news is that after a while we can learn from experience & begin to get motiveted & learn for the sake of itself, but it's a process, I'm still not quite all the way there. The how is always easier than we think, & much of the change comes in the recognition that we are hurting ourselves, the acceptance that we must change ourselves & not others, & the decision to do so. The greastest power we have here is the power of decision. Once we make a iron-clad decision on a thing, all of heaven & earth conspires to help with that change. It's really kind of cool when it happens . All I ever needed was open mindedness & willingness. Thanks

Answer 3

Yes I have done this to some capacity, however it really isn't so simple in my mind, ya know? Consider this, memory not being some pre-recorded storage of your sensory perception, but rather when you remember something you move through the dimension of mind called time, to an experience which is actually happening simultaneously within you. When you remember you go back into the past, in some ways. These experiences of old caused you hurt, pain, these things invoked aspects of our minds AND patterns within the body that still remain in those states, in regards to the mind perhaps it could be said that these aspects are still in the past. To release these and the negative emotions that become matter in the body on a cellular level, as even emotions have molecules, holding a grudge takes on a whole new perspective.

To forgive is to understand, to perceive the moment of that experience from a perspective that has overcome the duality of your perception, to bring about healing. To rectify what has been invoked. Forgiveness is the steps above releasing the grudge, because the grudge still remains in that time, as that aspect of your organic consciousness self is still experiencing it. For your own good, find the forgiveness in understanding (the situation objectively) and resolution so the defect in you can be healed.

Answer 4

yes i can imagine it- and at times, i have felt it- LIBERATION! true freedom...salvation..

but i'll admit...i still have to make a conscious effort to "let go"

i feel like it's different for everybody and there are layers to pain- especially when the issue is deep...i have thought many times, "ok- i get it, i forgive, i'm over it"...only to have it pop up again....but each time the layer has less weight and is easier to release...

i think it has something to do with living in the past and denial- in order to truly forgive... there must be consciousness...really allowing yourself to fully feel the pain.. and then move through it>>> and up out of it,

unless of course you are already a fully conscious being- who does not have an ego identity- at this point, the only relationships you have are love relationships- there is never anything to forgive because you don't see yourself as separate from anybody else...there is no need to forgive only a compassionate knowing that you and the other are one

Answer 5

I don't have to imagine it. Holding grudges is like a poison to the body and spirit. I wiped that slate clean a long time ago.

Valerie C- Letting go of resentments was hard work at first, I will admit. However, over time, like a well trained muscle, I am able to let it go almost before I have a hold on it.

Answer 6

We can forgive so many people in our lives without really resenting them. But there always the exception where some folks really screwed you over and leaves you with almost permanent resentment towards them. Always in your waking moment you will think of what they'd done and just can't forgive them for whatever has happened. At times, it's human nature to think this way.

Answer 7

Yeah, because there are more evil, very wicked people in the earth than there are good. It's a no wonder at Armageddon 90% of the world's population will be annihalated. It is hard not to hold a grudge sometimes because so many sickening people do hurtful things to those who aren't deserving of their evilness towards them.

We must continue to pray and seek out what is good and from God if we're to win this "revenge" war.

Answer 8

I can and I have. Forgiving doesn't mean that I have to pretend that they've learned their lesson so I can trust them this time. That's not usually true. It just means that I can see why I need to be careful and I recognize that all of us were born innocent and somehow got warped afterwards. It's really quite simple when you point it at your own mistakes and whether you want to learn from them or repeat them or forget them. What you learn can be taught.

Answer 9

I don't know if it is the same thing, but I do think it is impossible to forgive someone you hold resentment towards.

I am unable to love my neighbor as I love myself. I try my best to help people on a daily basis, but to say I love them as much as myself would be simply untrue.

Answer 10

I try daily, it is difficult, and your feeling of redemption is only as valid as your faith. It is a heavy burden to carry those resentments and such. Drop them today, you can be saved from these problems, it may take hours of prayer or a proclamation of strength. I pray you find strength. God Bless!