He found someone else in just two days online dating. It is pretty clear to me that he never had genuine feelings for me. I have panic attacks now so bad that my heart pounds and my breathing is irregular. My arms go numb and I am severely depressed. I was drinking a lot for a while and ended up in the emergency room. I stopped drinking but feel lost. I can stay at my sisters a while but my apartment is so depressing feeling without him here. I get attacks just walking in. I really need friends on here that can help me. I am 48 and at this point feel I will go to my grave feeling hopeless. (and no....I cannot just go out and find someone new like him....I am hurt)
2007-10-13 08:39:40 · 7 answers · asked by theartisttwin 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You need to talk to a doctor about this. You are having anxiety and depression that can be helped with medication. I'm not one to jump on the medication bandwagon for every problem, but when your depression is doing this to your life, you need help.
Aside from the medication, getting into counseling would be good for you. It's always helpful to have someone who will listen and give you advice. Just try to stay strong and know that this won't last forever. Time does heal wounds, but we can't make it speed up.
2007-10-13 08:46:11 · answer #1 · answered by howlermonkey 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart, I am so sorry. I can see your heart has been broken and you feel lost. Everything you have written says you need a friend to take your mind off of this. You need to stay away from the alcohol and drugs.
Sit down and make a list of things you need to change. Can you find another apartment? Do you exercise? Start, this is an order. Eat healthy and stay away from stuff that will pack on the pounds.
Write your feelings in a journal. number them and after you have figured out a list of what makes you miserable then do something positive to make yourself feel better and write that down as a direction to go in.
Go to your Doctor and gets some medication to help you get through this time. At 48, you have a great deal of life left to be happy. I know this isn't the worst thing in life that could happen -- what if you had married the man and he pull this **** on you? Please consider finding a single's church group on Sunday morning. Choose a large church and walk in and smile and ask where the singles group is meeting. There are people in this world that want to help you and all you need to do is step out of this dark hole and look.
2007-10-13 08:52:52 · answer #2 · answered by Lucille 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
.Hi girlfriend so glad to see your up and on the computer again. Been talking to your sis and we were really worried about you. You went though a hard 3 weeks Take the xanax 3 times a day no wine !! Stay with Judy a couple of days and go back home and start to rearrange the apartment. Get rid of anything that remins you of him dump it all. Make it a happy and cheerful place if you have 2 bedrooms sleep in the other one for now.Put some of your beautiful painting up and maybe some of your crazy lamps lol. Anxiety attacks are pretty bad, I had plenty of them. Get back on the meds . But most of it will be up to you.By tomorrow you should be eating better drink plenty of fluids( The water kind} lol. The worst is over you are to nice of a person. Life isn't always fair but we do learn from our mistakes. Glad your on your way back , when you start feeling blue cross your fingers and think of me. email anytime you want, I was up till four last nite trying to catch a mouse for about a month my son finally got the sucker. See we lead a crazy life around here to. lol. God Bless, Marie
2007-10-13 09:48:03 · answer #3 · answered by TINKERBELLE 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like rather than experiencing his pain he is avoiding it by dating. You both just move on in different ways. Guys push it deep inside and try to move past it, women flip out and process their feelings then once they're done they're done.
Why don't you redecorate the place and make it all yours, and do things that you like to do? Eat things that only you like to eat, hang out w/ good friends. Place lavender scents throughout your house, it's very relaxing and feminine.
When you start thinking about it and feeling all the hurt, just take a few deep breaths and try to relax. Get some perspective, you have the power to make yourself feel happy. Even if the world is against you, YOU are still in control of your happiness.
2007-10-13 08:48:01 · answer #4 · answered by rorybuns 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
PLEASE READ MY ENTIRE ANSWER
first of all Janica, whoever u are. Someday ur heart is going to be broken and you remember what you typed to The artist.
anyway,,, to answer ur question I think u should go home, clean ur house rearrange ur furniture. clean out closets and drawers, throw away old stuff you dont use or need. all the stuff that reminds you of your ex that you dont want to throw away yet, put it in a box and store it at someone else's house for a coupla months, then see if u can throw it away.
force yourself to do something everyday like take a walk, go to the gym, go to the park go to the mall, go to the library, visit with friends and family,
this may sound stupid but when im depressed about something i cant change or get out of my mind I color
i get a kids coloring book and a box of 64 crayons and i color. i get so involved in what color to choose next, which one compliments the other ones in the picture, when to shade and went to color dark, staying in the lines, not leaving any portion of the picture uncolored, i even use the white crayon to fill in the crowds and blue for the sky.i can do it for hours and hours until my hand hurts and my eyes are tired. but it takes my focus off my pain for the time being.
Dont lock urself in ur house with ur thoughts and nothing to distract from them. Force urself to use ur hands and move about in the world. Dont stay in ur bed or on ur couch. Be out of the house everyday by a certain time (2pm) and force urself not to come back home until a certain hour (5pm) Indulge in some really nice bath oils, bath salts, bubble bath, and music. Choose refreshing renewing aromas like orange oil, spearmint, baby powder, rosemary, lemon verbena, Listen to songs from high school, feel good upbeat music. talk to yourself in the mirror, Say, "I am good, I am beautiful, I am worthy of love respect honesty companionship. Remind urself of all ur good qualities whatever they may be . Eat well, nourish urself. You deserve the best.
2007-10-13 09:07:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the above poster.. JANICA... your answer was pretty cold. Perhaps you should look at what is wrong with your personality as well. Why is it that if a person can't express their feelings in this world anymore without getting a label or told that there is something wrong with them?
2007-10-13 13:28:57 · answer #6 · answered by mosaic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. He cares, guys just don't have pity, poor me parties. They got out and replace you, quickly. You should do the same.
2. I'm assuming that there's something innately wrong with your personality if booze was your first choice in dealing with this problem.
3. Obviously you need a psychiatrist, not strangers on the internet, to listen to your pity party.
2007-10-13 08:45:04 · answer #7 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋