My fiance and I are looking into buying a condo. We are both 20 years old (Engaged, but taking our time!!). Together we have most of the furniture items that we will need (including beds, bedroom furniture, living room furniture and kitchen-ware such as silverware, pots, pans, plates, cups..etc... the only essentials that we are missing will be a couch!! and a kitchen table/chairs!! which we will get on our own.
My grandma said that once we move in, she wants to throw us a little house warming with family and some very close family friends (people we refer to as aunt and uncle, that sourta deal).. She said that in the invitations she'll list a few gift suggestions (bathroom towels, dish-towels, curtians) along with some details about our new home (colors etc...)
I hate asking people for gifts, and at the same time I know that this would help a lot!!
Is this rude though?? Do people usually bring gifts to a house warming??
2007-10-13 07:47:51 · 27 answers · asked by ? 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
This is not rude - no different than a wedding or baby shower, bday or anniversary party. Those you invite will naturally want to bring gifts and many of them will have no idea what would be best to buy, so a short list done in taste is helpful. When is the last time you resented one of your friends inviting you to an event where you brought a gift? People who care about each other help each other......
2007-10-13 07:54:33 · answer #1 · answered by wilecoyote 2 · 0⤊ 4⤋
What your grandma wants to do sounds like a bridal shower. Asking for a gift is really tacky for a housewarming. A house warming is inviting your loved ones over to help break through the coldness of a strange new place. Once all your loved ones are there, the house is broke in, and supposedly a welcoming place to go to.
If you ask your loved ones over, they will likely bring a little something as a token gift. I always bring what I can afford to buy or make/cook/bake, but if anyone ever asked me for a gift when invited to a housewarming I wouldn't go.
2007-10-13 15:00:34 · answer #2 · answered by bin there dun that 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Please beg your grandmother to not put any gift suggestions in the invitations.
Yes, it's rude to seem to charge admission to a social gathering.
There will be people who will bring things of their own choosing -- just be suprised, delighted, and grateful (and use what you want of what they bring).
I have the feeling grandma (unless she's a generally greedy sort of person) is really overly anxious for the wedding, and is trying to make this a pseudo-wedding reception, where people do pitch in to supply the brand-new couple with all the stuff they need for their new home together.
Do whatever you can to talk her out of mentioning presents or registries, or color schemes or anything suggesting you expect gifts.
According to Miss Manners, gifts are (supposed to be) by their nature, voluntary.
The traditional housewarming gifts are bread and salt.
2007-10-13 23:18:06 · answer #3 · answered by tehabwa 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, people do bring gifts to a house warming.
Said that, it seems to me that that kind of invitation with all the details is usually done for a wedding shower.
However my guess is that, since these are very close people they would be understanding and willing to contribute with an appropriate and useful gift. You know they're probably going to give you something anyway; this way they'll know that what you get is also what you want and like.
2007-10-13 14:54:45 · answer #4 · answered by navide 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
hehe, you are soooo funny! Yes, people bring gifts, and if they dont bring gifts sometimes they will do potluck...its more random but its OK to do. There are at least two common human factors that I can think offhand to all of this.
1) People are nosey as hell and will come and look in your house if you give them even the slightest invite.
2) People love to party...they will make a big deal out of tying a shoe, and drinking cold water...so a PARTY...well its just going to be a big deal with your grammy...so just put up with the whole thing and have some fun while you are at it. I love watching people spin over things. My only needs are, Air, Food, Water, Love. Thats it. The rest is just fluff :) Give it a different perspective and you will be just fine hun.-Rachel.
2007-10-13 14:55:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Yes, people do expect to bring presents to a housewarming. However, it is just a little rude to suggest what to bring. Not as rude as asking the guests to pay for their drinks and meals, though. Think of it like a little bridal registry. In this case, I think your grandma has a handle on things. She sounds very thoughtful.
Asking for curtains though is kind of risky. You don't want to end up with blue baby ducks sitting on orange roses, lol. Towels, dish towels, mixing bowls and such are safer. Have fun.
2007-10-13 14:55:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Yes, it is rude to include gift suggestions in the invitation. A way around this is for her to ask invited guests to RSVP. Once she has them on the phone, she can bring up gift suggestions, or let folks know that you are registered somewhere.
2007-10-13 14:56:23 · answer #7 · answered by Pamela B 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
VERY RUDE, sorry, please don't let her do that, it is 100% tacky, especially in writing. She COULD spread the word verbally if she wanted to, however, it's still rude, but not as bad from an old lady as in an invitation.
ADDITIONAL: House warmings were previously and still are "HOUSE BLESSINGS" done by the liturgical churches. This tradition was changed by the people of other groups who did not want to maintain the religious ties to the event, but still wanted people to come and see their new house.
2007-10-14 09:39:52 · answer #8 · answered by JP 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes people do bring gifts to a house warming and no it is not rude to list things which you would like. If you are getting married within the next year or so, I would suggest not making a list of items to get. You will register for these things soon and will most likely receive them as shower/ wedding gifts.
2007-10-13 14:52:00 · answer #9 · answered by Lov'n IT! 7 · 1⤊ 3⤋
I don't think that is rude at all! After all, it will be your grandma throwing you the party (bless her, what a sweet thing to do!) and I'm sure the friends and family attending will want to help you with this step in your lives.
People usually do bring gifts to housewarming parties and it will be a great help for them to know what would be truly useful for you, instead of them having to worry about what to get!
In the UK, I have a couple of friends that have had painting parties, when your guests help you decorate in exchange for a couple of drinks and some nachos, so I'm sure you will be fine.
Everyone has to start somewhere and I hope you will have a lovely party, stop worrying!
2007-10-13 14:56:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋