My friend and I were discussing having a double wedding, and I know that there are lots of things to consider and sort out, and I'm sure that I can't even begin to see all the challenges yet... Before I decide to do this, I was hoping that I could get some opinions on pros and cons to the situation... Thanks!
2007-10-13 06:50:02 · 17 answers · asked by Pumpkin 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I know that I've already had some answers, but I'll add some details to my question anyway.
The friend in question is actually the sister of my fiancee, so the family gathering is going to be the same family gathering- its not really all that many more people family-wise... all our friends are all the same, between she and her man and mine...
It's going to be an outdoor wedding regardless of single or double, so space isn't so much of a concern.
The weddings are planned for the same season, and a major concern was being able to have our friends attend without having to try to get time off or rearrange their schedules for two weddings; so as to not have to choose whose wedding they attend.
2007-10-13 07:03:33 · update #1
I'd say it COULD work, IF both you and she really communicate well with each other.
What about instead of a double wedding, have 2 separate ceremonies with 1 reception? Have one ceremony Friday evening, one Saturday afternoon and the reception for both couples Saturday night. That way you can each have an individual wedding ceremony, and yet still keep it easier and simpler on family members and friends who will attend both ceremonies. I see that as being a good compromise.
My concern with doing it all at once is what the others have said. But, if you and she communicate well, you can overcome that obstacle. I also don't know your personalities either, you would both have to be realistic enough to realize you're not each going to get your own way 100% of the time on this. If you both have personalities where you both recognize the value of compromise, then I can possibly see it working. However, if one of you has a "it's my way or the highway" attitude about things in general, having a double ANYTHING is a disaster waiting to happen.
Remember, this is your future sister in law, this experience can bring you 2 much closer and be a real bonding experience, OR it can drive the 2 of you so far apart that family gatherings will be strained for a very long time, if not for the rest of your lives. I'd say the chances of the latter happening are much greater than it being a swell bonding experience. I'd reccommend having a sit down and talk with your future in laws, get everyone in the room together, and talk about this. Let everyone get thier hopes, fears, expectations, etc., out in the open and THEN decide if it's worth the risk of permanently damaging a family relationship.
Best of luck and congrats to you both!
2007-10-13 07:11:28 · answer #1 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Pumpkin, regardless of how close you and your friend are the fact is that this is suppose to be each of your special day. I can see if it isn't your first wedding then perhaps it may be less of a distraction. But if it is your first why share the day. There are so many things that could potentially go awry with this and nobody wants to be pointing fingers at the other on this special day. There may be people there that one of you do not get along with and also some people may feel that they need to buy gifts for both, and don't really want to or cannot afford it in reality. Do whatever you think is right but it is just my opinion that you, being the most important person that day, should not have to share this with anyone else regardless of how close you are.
2007-10-13 06:58:24 · answer #2 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing wrong with a double wedding. I think it would be pretty cool. But there are definitely some things to consider when doing one. Is this your Best Friend? Would you be her maid of honor and vice versa? She should be like a sister to you.
Some pros are
You get to share your day with someone special - your friend
You get to split the cost of your day with the other couple - additional savings!
You'll definitely have something out of the ordinary - you don't see double weddings everyday!
Cons are:
Sharing your day with someone else -do you want to be the center of attention only- would you have a probably with having another Bride around?
Style and decor conflicts - do you have similar styles? Or is one more traditional in style then the other. Both couples would have to come to an agreement with these decisions.
How does the rest of the family feel about the thought of a double wedding? And would you have conflicts with 2 mothers of the brides and grooms?
How do the grooms feel about it? Are they friends or just acquaintances?
But all in all if you to are close enough as friends to share your day it will be wonderful. If you and anyone-- have similar tastes, and wedding ideas...sm budgets so financially makes sense to split the costs..and again don't have a problem BOTH being center of attention that day..go for it!!
Good Luck and Congratulations
2007-10-13 08:11:59 · answer #3 · answered by holmeskaykay 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
OK - you've been given some things to think about from the others so far. I would sit down with the other couple and hash things out...colors, number of guests, menu, etc. If you can agree in most areas I think it would be a lovely idea.
I ended up setting my wedding date the same day as another friend from high school. We were not close enough to consider combining weddings, did not run in the same circle of friends after high school, but it caused hardships for the people who were invited to both. Since you seem to have most of the same family and friends that would attend both weddings, why not have one big happy celebration. Sounds like a great idea to me IF you can agree on the main things.
Write down all main points. Go over them. Be honest with each other. If you start to have even a niggling of an "oh oh" feeling - opt for separate affairs. You don't want to ruin a good friendship.
Good luck and congratulations to you both!
2007-10-13 07:47:00 · answer #4 · answered by dddanse 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How good of a friend is this?
Having a double can be really great or really bad. Never in the middle.
For one some brides and grooms aren't thrilled about the idea of sharing the limelight. Other more practical people are thrilled that everything will be cut in half in terms of cost or the wedding can be more extravagant.
The big issue I see with this is the fights that will invariably crop up. The church only holds 200 but she has 150 people in her family and you have yours too so she can't invite her Aunt Mary or vice versa. She wants to decorate using purple but you hate purple and want blue. She wants a casual wedding, you think it has to be black tie....I could go on and on about this.
2007-10-13 06:55:09 · answer #5 · answered by pspoptart 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm not for a 'double' wedding. Tons of people get married on the same day, that's life. But to share a special moment with a couple literally standing right next to you? I would never do it.
Sure all the family/friends would be there but that isn't something that should be a deciding factor. Should I have waited two years to marry my ex-husband so my brother & I could have had a wedding together?
Do what is right for you but my honest opinion is no way. Serious no way.
2007-10-13 07:45:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think if the 4 fiances sit down and make some plans for this, it could turn out wonderful. It will be unique, it will be a better wedding than either of you would have individually, it will be a special day for everyone. You will need to sort out budgets 1st then go from there. Communication and how decisions are made are going to be very important.
One suggestion would be to have 2 separate short ceremonies, back to back, then share the reception so you each get to walk down the aisle for your own ceremony.
I think if you do this right, and be very open minded it will bring you and your sister in law to be closer together.
good luck!
2007-10-13 13:50:50 · answer #7 · answered by az 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First...that is not cheesy so get that out of your head. the element is that it could artwork, regardless of the undeniable fact that that is may well be numerous logistics and artwork (i.e., agreeing on a corridor; agreeing on foodstuff, invites; and so on.) additionally, how will YOUR mothers and fathers experience approximately this "shared" day? AND, what approximately your appropriate pal's mothers and fathers/kinfolk? How will THEY experience? maximum brides do no longer pick to proportion the spotlight with anybody else so as this is the reason you do no longer see this all that often. yet, human beings do have double weddings! it would be, as you stated, great for the two grooms. And, i think, out of the well-known because they proportion their birthdays...in addition they're going to proportion their wedding ceremony day! that is easily no longer cheesy and something to look into.
2016-10-20 07:07:36 · answer #8 · answered by predmore 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi and congratulations!
Wow! I think this is a great idea! Personally, I have never been to one, but I would like to. It would save your groom's family TONS of money, since they would only have the expense of 1 ceremony.
There are some considerations though.....you and your fiance, and your soon to be sister-in-law and her fiance will all need to sit down and talk about everything prior to your decision.
I see most answers on here were all about "you" and "your day." If both brides are willing to share in the spotlight....then it shouldn't be a problem. Obviously, you will also need to discuss particulars like how many in your bridal party, etc.
Also....what do YOUR parents think of this idea? You know, the mother of the bride can turn into a "momzilla" sometimes! Also, what about your future sister-in-law's parents?
If everyone is onboard with this idea, to be honest....I think it would be unique and VERY different....something out of the ordinary.
Good luck with your decision!
2007-10-13 14:39:54 · answer #9 · answered by iloveweddings 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i can't help but think it might take away from your special moment, but if all of you are really good friends than it might not be bad.
remember: your wedding is your special day. don't have a double wedding just because it'll be the same guests. that's a lousy reason to do anything. if you think you day will be better if you put it together with your best friend's happy moment too, then by all means enjoy!
congrats! hope everything works well!
2007-10-13 07:53:05 · answer #10 · answered by coconutwindchime 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋