well...me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years next weekend and we love eachother very very much. i feel the next step would be to commit. however we are both 19 nearly twenty and i dont know what his family would think if we did get engaged as we have been talking about it. i feel as though his family would not be happy with this decision. i just want things to work out for us without interference.
2007-10-13 06:44:42 · 18 answers · asked by SparklesFairy505♥ 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Go for it! I was 18 when i got engaged and i was really scared of what my parents would think. When we finally did get engaged i felt like i was the happiest girl alive and i still do now over 2 years later. It's your life at the end of the day and nobody can stop you from being engaged and happy. When all you can think of is getting engaged, when it is constantly on your mind, then it is time to get engaged if you really feel you are ready. The worst thing is to worry about what other people think. You are adults and you are in love and it's beautiful, i'm very very happy for you. Getting engaged will strengthen your relationship, you will gain more trust in each other and feel more secure. There's nothing like looking down at your engagement ring and day dreaming about the wonderful future that lies ahead. As long as you have each other, nothing should be able to stand in your way. Good luck for the future! Hope it all goes well.
2007-10-14 05:27:46 · answer #1 · answered by Lady_Crimsyn1986 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It really depends on the couple involved, its less about age than maturity & committment.
I don't agree with what someone else said about marriage not being fun & being a ton of work. Marriage is not supposed to be all work. Yes, it will have its ups & downs but every relationship does. The real question is are you committed enough to stick it out through the down times.
Maybe a good option would be to get engaged after you are both 20 & then have a long engagement (maybe 1-2 years) to do some marriage counseling & really prepare yourselves for marriage.
The reason so many people think young marriages will not last (& this reason often proves true) is because you are still growing as a person in your 20's & so many couples end up growing apart. Only you & your boyfriend can know if this applies to you. Hopefully, instead of growing apart, you will "grow up" together which will ultimately make you closer.
2007-10-13 07:53:13 · answer #2 · answered by sunflower 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No matter when you choose to marry, 19 or 91, you'll have interference because that's the way it is for a bride LOL. My bf and I had been together 5 years before we tied the knot (I'm 21, he's 23). Because we were together so long, we didn't get tooooo much crap for it....but we still get bad looks from people who have no idea what they're talking about.
Why don't you sit down with his family and casually mention that you're thinking about getting engaged. When you're engaged, it's not like you're going to turn around the very next day and get married, it just means you're taking another step to getting married.
As long as you are responsible and mature enough emotionally and financially to get married, then whether or not your family agrees doesn't matter.
Wish you all the best :)
2007-10-13 07:11:43 · answer #3 · answered by kiki 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how you can tell someone whether they're ready or not to get married.. If you love each other and you both act responsibly and you think you could make a marriage work and be together forever then go for it.. Some forty year olds aren't as ready for marriage as 20 year olds. Age shouldn't matter it's more about being responsible and being happy. If getting married when youre 20 makes you happy GO for it. Even if you do get engaged now you could have a longer engagement to get both of your families used to the idea that you're really going to get married. Best of Luck.
2007-10-13 06:59:43 · answer #4 · answered by -clickhere- 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
The problem with getting married that young is if you're both in college -- planning a wedding in the middle of that is really tough. Especially before you two have figured out what you're going to do career wise. If you happen to get pregnant before you're financially ready -- this will be extremely burdensome. Most marriages fall apart due to difficult financial circumstances so you don't want to jeopardize your future together by making unwise decisions.
The best option would be for you two to save money towards a wedding. Don't begin your lives in debt (by charging everything on a credit card or taking out loans). Set a wedding budget then begin to set aside money each month for the wedding. No matter what, you will always get family interference with weddings. But if you two save money for it -- no one can really tell you what to do because you're paying for everything on your own. That in itself will show his family that you two are responsible and serious enough about it.
2007-10-13 08:08:58 · answer #5 · answered by Jasmine808 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It shouldn't matter what they think, once the both of you are truly in love and want to get married for all the right reasons then i say go on!! I know some people miht say that you are too young but if you feel like this man is the one you feel you are oing to spend the rest of your life with and he feels the same about you then there should be nothing standing in your way to get married.
2007-10-13 08:23:21 · answer #6 · answered by shortpeg2001 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
By all means get engaged, that's a commitment to each other, but it's also just a convention, not a legality. Get engaged if it makes you both happy, but wait a few years till you think about getting married.
Good luck!
2007-10-13 06:53:47 · answer #7 · answered by Chrissie F 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Family always want to get involved, usually with good intentions so whatever age you get involved the family will all want to give you their advice, that's just what happens. If you are concerned about what they think then wait til you are 20 years old, or have a long engagement.
2007-10-14 19:44:49 · answer #8 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got engaged at 21, married at 23 and 12 years later still very happily together - however we did live together first - after all you would not buy a dress before trying it on - if you know what i mean!
2007-10-13 09:17:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
How long you've been together has no bearing on whether or not you are ready to be married. And, if it's meant to be it won't make any difference if you wait a few years. Rushing now because of some stupid rule that you have to be married after a certain period of time dating is only going to make your married life harder and end up in divorce.
At 19 you aren't ready. You are in love with the idea of having a wedding and being married but trust me you aren't ready to actually be married. It's not fun...its a crapload of work.
Wait until you are both more stable. You just graduated HS. You have no idea what you'll be doing for a living, probably pretty unstable living conditions, and your personalities and goals are going to change tremendously before you hit 23.
2007-10-13 06:49:37 · answer #10 · answered by pspoptart 6 · 2⤊ 3⤋