Mine are nice.
I think my experiences were overall positive.
I still have issues with adoption and being adopted.
How about you?
2007-10-13 05:42:07 · 20 answers · asked by Isabel A 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adoption
I love them. I was always closest to my dad. He died a few weeks ago and it feels like the end of the world to me.
I think I understand you. My feelings about my adoptive parents (unconditional love) have nothing to do with my feelings about closed records infant adoption (I don't like it, and it made my life uneccesarily difficult).
2007-10-14 02:29:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
In a twist of sad fate - my adoptive father died tragically just before my first b'day.
(ironic - that I was given away because my mother was unmarried - and then I ended up being raised by a single mother - laughable really!)
Anyway - I never really knew my a-dad.
My a-mum and I were pretty close - as are my two sibs (their bio kids).
Sadly she died when I was 18 from cancer.
I love and miss her greatly.
She did an amazing job of raising 3 kids on her own.
I regret that she didn't have the information that is out there today about what an adoptive child needs - such as information of bio family - and contact if possible.
That's what I really craved for and missed.
And mum said it upset her when I asked questions.
That was probably THE harshest thing she ever said to me.
She made it about her - not about me - the child - the hurt and damaged one.
And for those moments - she forgot that she was the adult - the one who should be supporting the child.
But no one told her how much that would hurt me - she just didn't know.
Adoptive parents need to be given all the facts if they are to fully nurture an adoptive child.
And not make the same mistakes over and over again.
Mine were not.
But I still miss and love my mum every day.
That's just how it is.
2007-10-13 16:53:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
My adopted parents adopted me, my brother and then had my little brother. I always felt like my parent's biological child was their favorite. I have never felt a close bond with my parents; I have always felt disconnected from them. I believe being adopted has affected many relationships in my life. I do have abandonment issues.
I tried to contact my birth mother in 2002, but she did not want to have any contact with me, nor would she give me any medical history. Although I respect her wishes, I cannot say that I was not hurt at the time and still hurt a little, but I believe what happened must have been for the best. I grew up looking in the mirror and seeing nothing...a blank faced person...who never knew who she looked like. I still feel that way today. For the most part I have moved forward, but I still think of my birth mother every year omn my birthday (Christmas Eve) and wonder if she thinks of me.
I think at the very least adoptees have the right to their medical history. Every time I go to the doctor and they ask for my medical history I have to write, "adopted- unknown" and it drives me crazy! As I mentioned above, I do believe my birth mother had the right to say no to a reunion, but I wish she would have at least given me more medical history than she did, she told the social worker, "Tell her she has nothing to worry about." Oh, okay, no worries then, ha! I suffer from depression and anxiety and perhaps it could be hereditary?
2007-10-13 08:49:31 · answer #3 · answered by wendywhoosh66 2 · 9⤊ 0⤋
I prefer my dad over my mum too actually, could be something to do with the fact that I developed a bond with my birth mother before I was taken away. My birth mother didnt want me to be taken away but I had to because of her circumstances. My adoptive parents love me and support me, they were a bit overprotective, but probably because I'm their only child. I respect them and I care a lot about them. But I dont have the same love for them as I do for my own birth mother and other people that I have known that were close to me. I thank them for providing me with a big room and lots of presents at christmas and birthdays and big meals. Somehow no matter what they gave me though, didnt fill that void left behind though.
I think adoption needs to be recognised as a loss. It's as serious or equal to a child losing its parents in a car accident when they are a baby, but it just seems as if adoption isnt portrayed to be that horrific. I think that if my parents had recognised that it was as if my parents had died, gone and it was a serious loss to me, I would have felt better towards them. Instead I lost trust in them and felt that anything I shared about being adopted with them they didnt listen to or respect or even acknowledge.
2007-10-13 22:07:40 · answer #4 · answered by ♪ Rachel ♫ 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My adoptive mother, who was also my paternal grandmother, was the greatest. I loved her with all my heart. I think she was a fantastic mother. I still have issues from being separated from my mother though, and I still believe children should remain with their parents if at all possible. I believe, well, actually I know, that negative feelings about adoption can be totally separate from our feelings about our adoptive parents, adoptive families and the lives we led. My life was great. I still don't believe adoption is all sunshine and roses even if I did have a positive experience.
If my parents had died and I'd gone to live with someone else I could've still had an amazing life with amazing new parents, but it wouldn't change the fact that I'd be sad my parents died and would wish that no other children had their parents die.
2007-10-13 06:49:21 · answer #5 · answered by Marsha R 3 · 8⤊ 1⤋
I am not adopted but i did have a step father who longed to adopted me .. but my birth father would not let him . I do not know my birth father all that well and i do think it is for the best . My stepfather was i great man who loved my with all his heart i would never want to take the title of My Dad away from him in any way . i do how ever know what it is like to have a pice of your self messing for i know nothing about the 1/2 of me that is my birth father . I do not blam my step dad for this because he did every thing he could to make shur i know my birth father ..even to the point of driveing me all the way to alabama every summer so i could see him .. yet my birth father never took the time to get to know me .. the sad thing is last year i lots my grandfather on the birthfathers side of my family and when i went to his furnal i was there to morn a man i did not know so the tears comeing down my face where not for the lose of a grandfather but for the lose of know i would never get to know him ..
life is full of thing like this when my step father passed away my singel mother adopted 3 childern and rasied us all on her own i know have 3 wounderful siblings and 8 beautful nices when i talk to my silbling about there adoption all they can say i i wished mom could have adopted me sooner .. she is there mom and thats all that matter to them
2007-10-15 03:34:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anjela W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i do believe that any adoptee will have issues with adoption as theres always a part of your life missing.
i was adopted by my grandparents and couldnt ahve wished for two better parents.
they gave me a wonderful home and all the love and care you could wish for,i love them very dearly for that and miss them terribly(they passed away 4 years ago),
i do have some issues still with adoption,
2007-10-14 23:05:15 · answer #7 · answered by bugwales 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I hate my adoptive mother and I am not happy with my adoptive father. My adoptive mother said she hated me to my face. She abused me from the day she got me. I never felt loved, appreciated, important or protected. I never felt validated as a human being either because I could never know my own people and I was forced to think it wasn't important which was a lie. We had an older female babysitter who told me she wasn't protective too but in my day, I wasn't protected either by current child abuse laws. Most adoptive mothers take their rage and unhappiness out on the adoptee because they think adopting a baby will get rid of the bad feelings of not being able to have one, but then they find even after they get another woman's baby, those bad feelings are still there and they still are not in the real motherhood club. We adoptees pay for that in so many ways. Our lives are not important, nor are our feelings, according to screwed up and abusive society, because we have been bought and used to make barren women feel less like losers, but they still feel that way even after we are bought. No child should have this burden placed on them and all adoptees in the USA should sue the American government and the adoption agencies for the emotional trauma being bought and adopted causes. Many adoptees deny they were not happy either because they just want an inheritance from their adoptive parents, so they lie about being happy. Many Pro-Adoption people who post here on Yahoo too, saying they are adopted and are very happy are really social workers, people from the NCFA, Adopters, and adoption agency employees.
2007-10-15 02:32:56 · answer #8 · answered by Smarty 1 · 2⤊ 3⤋
I adore my adoptive parents - you won't find any better;
which is why I just hate it when people say I must've had a 'bad experience' just because I am sad at losing my first mother and take issue with the current ethics (or lack thereof) in present day adoption practises
2007-10-14 07:00:20 · answer #9 · answered by H****** 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I love them! HANDS DOWN! My father has passed now, 14 years. I grieve for him still today. Wonderful parents, could not have chosen better if I had the chance.
I'm with you though. I still have issues with the adoption. Mine was closed and sealed many years ago. I have lost natural siblings. They exist, but know nothing of them.
These things have no bearing on the love for my family though. They gave me the world and I am blessed.
2007-10-13 08:23:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 8⤊ 0⤋