major depression and bad coping skills.....?

Question

I have been diagnosed with major recurrent depression and have been on zoloft n prozac so far....I always have things in my life happen that make me mad,angry,derpressed and sad and when it happens i dont know how to deal with them...Ive been bounced around my diff psychologist(being im in the military they change) and they dotn make me feel better. My phsychiatrist only talks to me about meds. I feel so ****** up all the time.

I have had 4 miscarriages,been raped,kidnapped,molested amongst other things. My hatred for ppl is strong and i have no friends. Im 24 years old and feel like im just taking up space on earth. I feel useless. Wondered why my mom even had me because she doesnt act like she ever wanted me.

I feel so evil. My sis just found out she preg with baby number 2 and instead of being happy im jealous and mad.....

If there are others like me out there how do u deal with such emotions?

Sry for my random writing but i cant focus right now

Answer 1

We used to call this being the 'Angry American." The feeling is universal, and most people have it at least sometimes, so there's nothing wrong with you or the way you feel.

Having said that, it's important to move beyond those feelings to help yourself be happier and enjoy life. Look at giving yourself the help of 'replacement therapy.' For every wrong that has happened to you, find a way to reach out to others, and you will see that things start turning around for you. Can you get a puppy? Believe it or not, the love of a small creature that depends upon you can make all the difference. Try going for walks in a beautiful place with nature all around at least once every two or three days. Put on soothing, calming beautiful music and just focus on enjoying it.

Take the time to find a purpose for your life. Start figuring out which kinds of movies and books catch your interest--and improve your mood and happiness level. Join a book club or cooking group or other opportunity to reach out and connect with people on a basis other than work, school, or other forced communication.

Pretty soon, you'll realize that you are a vital part of the picture for those who get to know you and care about you, and that you will be welcomed and validated in many ways.

Good luck, and reach out whenever you feel blue!

Answer 2

Your not alone.. I am not sure what poor coping skills you are referring to... However, what you are feeling after all that has happened to you is very understandable. Those emotions are OK to have, they really are!
You are not evil at all. Your jealous about your sister and being pregnant because of what you went through personally. Again, I can understand you and why you feel that way.
Yes, I too have a very difficult time with people i general. I know what you mean about it.
I hope you are getting therapy and have a person you can talk to about all this stuff. This is what is very important.
It is not good that you have had to change psychologists so many times either. You need to build up a rapport with one good one.
Hang in there, you do have every right to feel the way you do.

Answer 3

I would guess that you, among other things, suffer from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). I highly recommend reading and doing the exercises in the book “Feeling Good the new mood therapy by Dr. David Burns M.D.” Also check out the Albert Ellis Institute web site for other books and CD that WILL help you if you do the work. Just reading them won’t do much. You’ve go to do the work and keep doing it until it works for you.

You write that “I always have things in my life happen that make me mad,angry,derpressed and sad and when it happens i dont know how to deal with them” It isn’t the things that happen to you that upsets you but what you think about those things. I know you are going to argue that it is those things that upset you but when you over come your irrational beliefs you will know differently. You do need to work on the irrational beliefs you have that keeps you upset. That is basically what REBT is all about. It does work. And it will work for you.

I do not believe in coping with things I believe in dealing with them which is proactive and not pasive reactive coping.

I understand what kind of poor medical care you are getting. I am a veteran and have been going to the VA in AA, Mich. The doctors are incompetent. I have wrote Senator Carl Levin and complained but he like the rest of the politicians do not really care. Still I do recommend that you write you senator and or congressman about the medical care you are receiving.


Good luck

Answer 4

I'm so sorry for what you have gone through.

After all those incidences, you HAVE the right to be angry and it is natural for you to "hate" people. The fact that you "feel evil" means that you are NOT evil. An evil person do not feel evil.

Your reaction to your sister's pregnancy probably means that, unconsciously, you desire to have a family of your own. Whatever the reason, let it rest.

Before I go on, allow me to say that you wrote well & what you wrote is well developed & flowed well. I could easily understand what you wrote & also feel your anguish.

In this connection, do consider joining your local chapter of the Toastmasters Club. "Toastmasters" is a non profit movement. Its mission is to groom speakers/writers n leaders in a conducive, supportive enviroment. It facilitates the networking and the building of friendship.

(Well, to be honest, there are black sheep in the flock. Agin it's a normal phenomena in any group/profession or whatever.)

Learn more about this movement at http://www.toastmasters.org/

Back to your question:

Please, please, please be regular with your medications. I'm saying this because there is a tendency of people on meds. becaoming irregular with their meds.

You did not mention any side effects, which is fortunate.

In the event that side effects occur, do not hesitate to discuss it with your psychiatrist.

Yes, meds is what they would only talk about, so talk about how the meds affect you, whether negatively or positively.
Over time, the psychiatrist would adjust the dosage to a dose that work best with you & your condition. Eventually, he may take you off meds.

It is beneficial for you to have a good (and the same) psycho-therapist. Since it is not possible, because of the system, work with whoever you are assigned to, with an open mind and MILK the most out of that situation.

If your system provides for it, ask for a referral to a life coach too. Life coach deals with coping skills in life --differently from a psychologist. Life coach also uses different tools/strategies. However, very often, he/she may also have psychology or social work background.

Lastly, you mentioned that you had 4 miscarriages but did not mention the cause.

There are many causes for miscarriage. BUT many of those causes could be overcome with the help of the O&G.

I have encountered a few women who had multiple miscarriages -- in the course of seeing my O&G for the same problem. The O&G diagnosed that I and a few others, simply required total bed rest the moment that we were pregnant till the time we delivered. Upon following the O&G's instructions, all of us had our babies, with no furher problems.

However, doing so required a lot of planning and preparations, at our home or at our place of work.

One of the ladies stopped work -- as encouraged by her husband.

My place of work honour only 3 months of the medical leave that my O&G gave me, but was agreeable to keep my post for me. i.e. I took 6 months no pay leave. It was financially very painful but worth it.

Whether you know the cause for the miscarriages or not, please consult a doctor (O&G) to plan your next pregnancy.

Answer 5

Your psychiatrist needs to make a change in the kind or amount of medication you need. Make an appointment and see him or her on regular basis. I suffer from severe depression too. I've had my meds and dosage amounts changed many times until my shrink finally got it right. I haven't gone through the same life experiences as you, but I have been through the sh*t wringer way too many times. If emotions get too out of hand / suicidal (as was my case), check yourself into the emergency room of a hospital that has a mental ward. It's better than the alternative.

Answer 6

You need to change how you see the world. It's easier than you think. You need to find a few ways to cope with the depression, that's all.

Diaries are good. Every day be sure to write down 5 things that went RIGHT, that you're grateful for. Meditation can help, so can positive affirmations. All three are ways to choose what your mind thinks about. If you take control of your thoughts, and choose not to feel bad, believe it or not, you can drive depression and suicidal thoughts away.

You know how if you try you can convince yourself that you feel sick? It works the other way too, you can convince yourself you feel great.

MEDITATION FOR DUMMIES is a good book, THE POWER OF POSITIVE THINKING is another. Your local library should have both. If not email me, I'll suggest other ones that are good too.

You're not permanently damaged. With a little work you'll be fine.

Try this. Remember the cursed diary in HARRY POTTER AND THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS? Write a cursed diary. Think of a negative thought or bad memory you want to get rid of. Feel it like a dark sludge stuck in your head you want to get rid of.

Feel the sludge ooze out of your head, down your arm, and out your hand as you write about the memory onto a piece of paper. Write the memory or thought until you feel the sludge has poured out of your body into the paper. The paper holds that evil thought now.

Take the paper holding that thought and destroy it. Tear it up, burn it, scatter the ashes to the wind. That evil thought is now gone from your mind and your life.

Trust me, it works.

So will this. Lay down in a quiet room, close your eyes, and take slow deep breaths. make each inhale and exhale last as long as you can.

First say to yourself "I feel my toes relaxing." and they will. Then say "I feel my ankles relaxing" and they will. Go all the way to the top of your head until you reach the top of your head.

Imagine that as you exhale that red smoke it blowing out your mouth as you exhale, taking away all the stress with it. As it goes out of you, you'll feel your body getting lighter.

Just lay there, calmly breathing, blowing out the stress, for about 20 minutes.

I hope this helps?

Answer 7

My answer to this is the same as to the anger management question just posted.

You need to change your attitude.