Tell me what my job is will ya.........?

Question

So now my 17 year old is trying to tell me what she thinks is my job.. Or my responsibility are. Such as buying food for the house..

She has informed my because I make the most money in the house that, that it is my responsibilities to buy food for the house.

Thank you very much... I am well aware of what my job and responsibilities are.

Might I also say that this is the 17 year old with an olmost 2 year old.

I might also say that, that 2 year old eats VERY well because of ME.. I also eat very well..

I have told her I refuse to buy her food when she gives her money to guys she is dating and buying new cell phones for herself when she gets 'bored' with the old one.. Or when she is coming in with clothes and what nots.. AND not putting money in the bank like she is suppose.

Tell me what my job is...? You can starve..

Call me evil... I can't beat her .. Can't ground her..Can't kick her out... I have to do something..

Answer 1

I WOULD LIKE TO TELL YOU-YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB. I HAD MY DTR AT 16. MY MOTHER LET ME KEEP MY CHECK, HOWEVER I HAD TO BUY MY OWN THINGS I.E. SHAMPOO, CLOTHES, ETC AND STUFF FOR MY DTR I.E. DIAPERS,CLOTHES. I DIDN'T HAVE TO PAY RENT, BUT I HAD TO SUPPORT MYSELF AND DTR.
NOW I THINK YOU ARE RIGHT, IF SHE WANTS TO SPEND MONEY UNNECESSARY, SHE SHOULD PAY RENT. SHE DOESN'T HAVE A RIGHT TO "TELL YOU YOUR JOB" YOU ARE STILL HER PARENT, BY LAW NOTHING, NOT EVEN HER PAYCHECK IS HERS UNTIL SHE IS 18 AND YES YOU CAN STILL GROUND HER!

Answer 2

Since she has a child, it is HER job to buy the food for her child and do everything else (make sure her child has clothes, everything her child needs in general). She's very lucky that you are helping her out, she doesn't need to throw it all on you as "your job". You didn't lay down and make her baby. And she needs to realize that. She needs to learn how to be more responsible, because she isn't going to have you around to buy her child food all her life. She's the mother, not you.

I would tell her to wake up and smell the roses. She can either help out with the groceries and other things, or she can move out on her own. You are most definitely not obligated to take care of her child. Tell her to stop being lazy. You're going to have to teach her responsibility before it's too late. If that means tough love (making her move out on her own), then so be it.

And she is under 18 still, so you can still ground her, spank her, do whatever it is you used to do. Just because she has a child doesn't mean you aren't still her parent and she isn't still underage. She sure is acting like a child still, so my opinion is: you act like a child, you'll be treated like one.

Good luck.

Answer 3

My vote is you can ground her/punish her. She's still a child, albeit a child with a child. Having said that, I completely agree with you - you're doing right by your grandchild, and if she chooses to be ignorant an foolish with the money she has, then she can suffer.

Somehow she needs to understand what we already know - that her money is NOT hers... it's for her child, and for their future. She sounds extremely immature still, for a person who's just created a life. I wish you the best of luck in helping her see her duties, before you have to give up and kick her out. But like I said, I agree with you. She's made her choices - she can deal with them now.

Answer 4

Gawd I hate to say this but legally she is correct. Unless she is an Emancipated minor, she is your legal responsibility until she turns 18. WHich means that you are responsible to clothe, house, provide medical care, education, and feed her. Not saying that I agree with her behavior. I feel that children should honor, and respect their parents and their elders. However, I know many parents who have had to deal with child welfare services for child neglect, because of false accusations made by THE CHILD or some busy body with no kids of their own. You need to put your foot down, be firm and remind her who's the boss. When she turns 18, it's your way or the highway, and she either needs to contribute to the household or get the H*** out.

Answer 5

You can kick her out.
Its legal at 16 where i live (ontario)
Make her get a part time job.
She went and got herself knocked up and needs to take responsibility and care for her child. She shouldn't be depending on you. Message to your daughter: Grow up! Your child is more important than a new cell phone. You are a big girl, GET A JOB!

Answer 6

Your daughter needs to get a serious reality check and realise she has a child to look after, i'm an 18 year old single mum, i don't live with my parents and things are hard, i have to buy nappies for my son, i have to put food in his belly, and provide anything else he needs, i wish i still lived with my mum and that she did what you are doing for your daughter, she doesn't realise how lucky she is, she needs to grow up, get a grip and learn how to be a half decent mum

Answer 7

Since she took it upon herself to have sex, she is at the age to get a job and support herself( i know this is hard ), But she has to act as a parent and not a child. the dept of welfare could help and/or child services could get her in the right start.
Don't feel this is your fault it is just kids want to grow up so fast that she had a head start. wish you luck :>)

Answer 8

For crying out loud you are the friggen parent! Why can't you ground her? Just because she is a mother herself? So what?? She is still a child herself!! Until she can support herself and her child on her own she is to live under your rules!!! Geez, no wonder she got pregnant...take control woman!!!

Answer 9

Well, you're the one who created the monster. You somehow taught her that the world revolves around her, and now you enable her behavior by allowing her to live off of you after she has made the decision to have a baby before she is even out of school. So now you get to live with it. When she turns 18, tell her she has 30 days to find her own place to live and be done with her.

Answer 10

I guess I'm even more evil because I say kick her out-maybe if she has to take care of herself she will learn some responsibility.
As for the baby-sounds like it would be no problem to get ad litem guardianship given mom's behavior.