My Parents Divorcing?!?

Question

1st of all, im 12 years old. so i dont want any fricken gay comments sayin stupid stuff. mkay,
well i recentlly figured out (then my parents told me after i put the peices 2gether)that my parents are breaking up. :'(
and i cant stop crying.now my mom is going to take me out on November 3, 2007 when we r moving in febuary 2008.
i thought i got to choose who to live with.i luv my mom but well,
ever since she lost 100 pounds shesbeen acting like shes 20 (shes 43!) men always flirt with her, she thinks shes better then my dad and blames everything on everyone else!
do u have any tips about kids in divorces and tips???Also, is it just me or does it feel like when u get divorced that your parents wished they didnt haveu?
ONLY KIDS WHO R IN DIVORCED PROBLEMS AND KNOW WHAT THIS IS LIKE!

ps my mom is no ho or a slut

Answer 1

to be honest, I'm sure there are more people with divorced parents than married ones. I hear "i'm going to my dad's house" all the time.
No they don't wish they never had you, it's all in your head. They are just focusing on the divorce.
Try talking to your mom and see if she'll let you stay with your dad. That may be a little awkward b/c she may feel like you don't want to stay with her.

Answer 2

heeeyyy, my parents got divorced when i was twelve too.
I'm 17 now.
No, you don't get to chose who to live with unless you are 16 and both parents decide if that is what they want, otherwise it is up to the courts, or both parents decision if there is no dispute.
...i don't know all the details, but about your mom, well it seems like she hasn't had fun in a while, and with recently losing 100 pounds, it can give you a lot of confidence. You have to remember that your mom is a person too, she's human just like you, and has the tendency to be attracted to celebrities (like brad pitt! i mean come on who isn't?), and regular men as well. Maybe your dad just doesn't do these things so openly and infront of you.

You need to tell your mom that her flirting with other men is making you uncomfortable because, this new situation is difficult for you and ask her if she could do so when you are not present.

I'm kind of confused about what you meant by your mom is taking you out on November 3rd and you are moving in february.... so i don't really know how to respond to that.

Answer 3

Its avery sad deal when parents get divorcd, and especially when there ae kids involved...but just remember that no matter what ...IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU!!!!!! its just sometimes its haed to be with that person anymore,its not because they dont love each othr it just isnt the same relationship any more. Its hard when you have to choose where to kive and make the choice but hopefully your folks will realise what you feel about the reltionship. You should tell your mom and dad that you want to talk to them and explain how you feel you seem like a very smart girl so just say what you need and every thing will be ok, it wont be the samebut it will work out. Good luck sweet heart and just remember BOTH your parents love you no matter wht!!!!! God bless!!!!Chris.

Answer 4

Well I'm 20 now and my parents have been split since I was little. I didn't get to choose who I wanted to live with which sucked .. but i'm almost positive you can now.

My mom went threw that same stage too.. she actually got her belly button pierced because my sister and I did and it was HORRIBLE. She did get over it though. And I knew I couldn't do nothing about the way she acted so I just ignored her. Honestly I feel for you because it seems the situation you are in is what made me become a depressed kid. Cause it seemed to only get worse.

Do yourself a favor and really push for who you want to live with. Keep Close to your friends. Find a way to keep yourself busy. Like playing sports in school or something.

I wish the best 4 you hun i really do!

Answer 5

I'm no kid. Parents love their kids & it is not the kids fault for the divorce. Most kids (after finally accept the situation) become more spoiled after parents divorce because each parent wants to make the kid's visit enjoyable with more trips to amusement parks, clothes, games, etc... Bad thing about it - - majority of these parents try to pump information about the other parent from you - - each time the topic comes up, remind them that you are not anyone's personal snitch and do not want to hear bad mouthing the other one to you.
It is tough on the kids. You will grow up a little faster than you should. Just don't become bitter.
Hang in there. It is better than having the police there to haul one off to jail.

Answer 6

I'm now an older woman, but I was the child of divorced parents, and my children were the children of divorced parents. I'm sorry you feel as if your mom wishes she hadn't had you ... and I'm sorry that she's not acting the way she used to act. Right now, it may seem to you that she's 'acting very strangely' but that is because she's acting differently than she did when you were younger and before she lost her weight. I'm sorry that you feel as if YOU are being blamed by your mom for 'what's wrong' ... but the fact is that your mother is doing what she thinks is right, and she could be making mistakes ... but she is STILL your mother. If you would rather live with your dad, then it's up to YOU to get them to sit down and TALK WITH YOU about YOUR life after they split up. It may be that there are things about this 'divorce' that you don't know about, nor should you know about them ... but by getting them to sit down and 'discuss' who you are going to live with, and what your life is going to be like, YOU will be taking some 'control' of YOUR situation, and even if you don't get what you want, YOU will know that you tried and did your best, and that YOU are NOT RESPONSIBLE for either your mother or your father splitting up. YOU ARE FINE ... try to stay that way as you grow, but 'be aware' of the 'bad stuff' that can happen during your parent's divorce, so you don't have the same thing happen to you when you have kids.

Answer 7

whats goin on with ur mom i can hear u ask. alot of women reevaluate thier lives and thierself at certain times as they get older and decide ;this is not what my dreams were when i was a young girl,and not who i wanted to be and look like...so they change it.maybe that caused problems.maybe the problems were also part of the change. either way you can't blame people who really are willing to be strong enough to loose weight and try to change their lives,but she still has to be accoutable.
alot of parents when they split if they stay in same area can have split custody;you liturally spend, have your weeks devided between them and child support never becomes an issue.
that way maybe you could spend days with one,nights with other. or different days
and nights.
either way,please realize everyone is hurting.
none of this is your fault.
theres nothing u can do about this,and it's not ur job to punish anyone.
just be a twelve year old while you can.you loose that fast enough.
good luck.

Answer 8

hey darling my mum and dad split up last year when i was 15 so yes i know how you feel. i felt like neither of my parents wanted me either and my mum lost allot of wight too (seems to me we are almost the same person here). (except my mum became an alcoholic and neglected all 3 of her kids) I'm now 16 and i am living on my own but that is not able to happen in your situation you are now old enough to make a choice who you live with sit down and talk to your mum about why you'd like to live with your dad (bend the story a little) OK hope i was of some help

Answer 9

Sounds like your mom is having her second childhood... in which case you would be dealing with a lot of crummy drama. She will probably have a parade of sleazy dudes in and out of her house. Maybe she will settle down after menopause hits her.

You need stability, so stay with your dad.

Your parents just grew apart and need to move on. Do your best to support both of them emotionally. Tell them that you love them. That is about all you can do other than growing up to be the best person you can be.

Answer 10

Divorce issues are hard for kids to deal with, esp when you least expect your parents would end up divorcing. in my country divorce is not yet legalized, but annulment cases have been used instead. but it doesnt change the essence of it. it's normal that we feel those sort of emotions about moms getting a lot of attention from men after her divorce, thats probably bec she wants to know men a lot or just wanting to get an attention. well, if you based it on the ones younger than your mom who are single, it's normal that she gets a little off her age to feel young and to get noticed by men. if you dont like her idea of flirting, why not tell her straight. if she insists, then at least tell her how much you love her and it pains you to see her get flirty bec you;re not used to seeing her like that. you cannot make decisions for your mum. you just have to tell her that she doesnt need to get off too much to get noticed. she can flirt modestly that wont offend you. you have to support her of what shes doing. always present yourself to her as if youre the adult, talk to her with open ears, and be sensitive to her needs too. constantly remind her that you're always there for her no matter what. you're all family, and family help one another. i know she will understand you, but there's just things we cant overcome that we wished we could.