I am now married for 2yrs. We are planning to have a baby soon. But during the first year of our marriage, my inlaws moved to our house as they are needing place to stay for a while. shared rents and bills for the couple of months then stopped as their second baby arrives and ask that my husband pays for it for the meantime. but now for a year, they dont give us any amount of money and so comfortable living with us now. Then my father inlaw moved to us and asks money to my husband for his daily expences. Days are getting worst, they dont help in cleaning my house, they dont pay bills and dont even share foods on the budget. Theyre acting like a complete guest in our house. I told my husband about it and said i can talk to them about my concerns and it leads to a huge fight, saying things against me(including my father inlaw).My husband got upset bout what they did, they apologized to me. But im not comfy wid them anymore, i dnt talk to them. How can i tell them to vacate my house?
2007-10-12 18:53:43 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Telling my husband that im not comfortable with his family made him feel that i dont like his family. but its true! I married him not to be his family but to be with him only. He plays so generous to his family and i dont like it. I want to build our own family. Am I being selfish here?or am I making the right thing? thanks for your time
2007-10-12 18:56:53 · update #1
That sounds like a bad dream! I understand & I would hate to feel uncomfortable in my home.....Maybe you should write or type out a bill every month and give it to them. Amount of rent, there share of the electric. phone etc. And add payment amount for money they borrow. Total it all up and give it to them and the date it is due every month. As long as you don't do anything it won't change. This way no words are necessary, maybe they will move if they have to pay......or maybe they will pay & you and; your husband can go get a motel room! Ha, joking. Good luck..........
2007-10-12 18:58:08 · answer #1 · answered by char__c is a good cooker 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you told your husband that the reason that you don't like his family is because the way they have totally taken advantage of you for the past year?
This is a tough situation but your husband needs to understand that this is putting a huge strain on you and it is affecting your marriage. Tell him that either he talks to them or you do. They need to have a deadline to get out. You both need to be on the same page about this, or you are just going to be looked upon as the bad person. Maybe you could talk to them together. I think that it would be most effective, it is just a matter of convincing your husband of this.
If your husband cares about you at all, he would see that this has gone too far. Your generosity has run out, your patience is running thin, and now it is becoming a HUGE problem. If he does not listen, give him the ultimatum, it is either they leave or me! Tell him that you are not trying to be a b*tch, (which you are not, I would not have lasted 3 months, let alone a year) that it is just the right thing to do, you love him but if he can't take your feelings into consideration, then maybe he is not the man you thought he was. It is the natural order of things. He needs to grow up.
..Good Luck!..
2007-10-12 19:10:55 · answer #2 · answered by angelalee76 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Set a date. Ask them to get a place by then. You and your husband need to enjoy the beginning of your relationship before others start setting in on you. I would do the same for my family and have and although my Fiance likes my family, he had made it clear to me that he wants to be able to start a life and they can always visit. That we'll always be able to help them out in desperate need, but we can't give them everything. We sacraficed parts of our relationship for them. It almost ruined us a few times. We both worked hard to get where we are, and so they can do the same. Don't let them take advantage of you. It may be hard to get them out, but once you do you will feel so much better!
2007-10-12 19:07:22 · answer #3 · answered by Crystal & Steve *Muah* 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No,they are grown people and should have their own homes,give them a week and tell them to get out out the end of it,if they don't leave call the police and stick to your guns on this one.Your husband knows and wants to do that but he can't feel like to throw his family in the street.Someone has to stand up to this sitution or you will never have any life for yourself.
2007-10-12 19:06:31 · answer #4 · answered by peppersham 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think your selfish....sounds more like all of that is getting to you......why are his parents having children when they don't have their own home to raise the child in....or did I read that wrong.....cohabiting with other adults is very difficult especially when the other adults are your partners parents......tread lightly here....but explain to your husband that the living conditions have to change in order for you and him to bring your own child into the house...sounds like your husband is very reasonable and will see where you are coming from....in the mean while ....don't go hide in your room ...you can still be civilized with with them until they are gone....hopefully it will be soon...good luck , hope it all works out
2007-10-12 19:30:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT HAVING A BABY UNTIL YOUR HUSBAND GETS A HANDLE ON THIS!!!
You and your husband need to get on the same page... set a firm move-out date for them and stand by your guns.
Offer to help them shop for their own place. Just get them out of your house! Forget about their feelings! They have outstayed their welcome since the first 2 weeks.
Get rid of these freeloaders!
You can file an eviction order at the county courthouse.
If you cannot get your husband to get these people out of your house, you need to go home to mama and file for divorce!
2007-10-12 19:06:24 · answer #6 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are NOT selfish!!! you have a family of your own to take care of. tell them to get out of your house. god bless you because you have patience!! if that was me they would have been loooong gone i don't care where they go, but they have taken advantage of your generosity so you need to lay down the law and tell them it's time to go. If your husband refuses then you go.
2007-10-12 19:15:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not selfish. You gave them plenty of time for them to get on their feet. Its time for them to move out soon. You are not required to support them. Give them a move out date.
2007-10-12 20:21:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
change the lock and tell them to get ooouuuuutttt
2007-10-12 18:58:00 · answer #9 · answered by Count Chocula 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋