how do i tell my dad that im moving in with my bf in March...ill be 19 by then...but im his only child and baby girl....and i really dont want to hurt him..
2007-10-12 17:53:25 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
to answer some peoples questions....its not the fact that we arnt married...we are planning on getting married....and my dad likes him....my dad and me lived with his ex wife for 9 years before they got married...so thats not the problem either....im just scared of my dad.....i did tell him im moving out....but not when...where and who with....and all he said was you cant move out for free....but i have more money then him
2007-10-13 05:27:51 · update #1
Your 18, he should start to realize that you will eventually leave his house. Invite your bf over and meet your dad. Have your bf over a lot, so that dad can see that you really love him. Then, after a while tell him with your bf present. And make sure that your bf backs you up, if he just sits their not knowing what to say, then the result may not be as good. Dad might get upset. Let him know that you still love him, and will call him and that he can call you. Keep the communication open between you and your dad and bf.
And if he wants to help you move in, let him help. But if your dad doesn't want to, just accept it. it might be really hard for him to know that his baby girl is leaving the house, but stay in touch and it visit him and it won't be as hard for him.
And don't expect to get money from him when you really need it, you will be on your own and he won't be able to help you as much as he used too. Don't get mad, when he doesn't help you financially--make sure you have a financial, school, and career, plan to tell your dad about when you do tell him you are moving out.
Best of luck!
Be safe (use protection) with your bf.
2007-10-12 18:03:46 · answer #1 · answered by Jess 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Well first of all you should never just live with a guy. No matter how much you are in love. So this will be a hard topic of discussion. Once you move in with this bf, then you have made a statement that you are not ready for marriage. Understanding the topic before telling your father is important. If it is a mistake then you maybe you can understand why your father will not approve. You are his baby girl and he knows this could be a mistake. Yes you might hurt your father, but have you thought about the fact you could be hurting yourself. This is my advice to you. Do not live with a boy friend. Your only 19 and have a lot of time to decide on who you want to spend your time with. Your father is only going to be hurt if you hurt yourself. So good luck telling him that the one person he doesn't wish to get hurt makes a decision that leads to just that. Tough problem. Living with some one esp. bf can lead to a bad situation. I do not think your father will like it. I know that if you were my little girl, I would hate the idea. Good luck. There is no good way to tell a father that a bad desicion is being made regarding his one and only little girl.
2007-10-12 18:05:25 · answer #2 · answered by fnbug 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I know that your not gonna want to hear this and you will probably disagree now but,may not when you get older. Your only 19, and still have allot to experience. At your age moving in with someone is a huge step from a child to a grown up. Nevertheless if you have your mind set, no one can change what you want to do. If I was your dad, I would want you to further your education first, as any good parent would want for their child.Two young adults living together usually leads to a child being born, & one or both never get to see what their lives would have been like if they had only waited. If you dont want to hurt your dad, prove to yourself first that you have what it takes to be not only an adult but, a responsable adult. Give yourself time to grow & learn, so you can give your future offspring a better life, rather than having to struggle. But, most of all, respect your dad. He knows you better than you know yourself. Hind sight is always 20/20.
2007-10-12 19:27:59 · answer #3 · answered by jack_black_91 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey... please don't just move in with the BF.
That is selling yourself short.
You will wind up giving him sex, doing all the household chores, paying half the bills, and taking most of the risks of sex... and he will have absolutely no impetus to go ahead and marry you because you are already giving him the full benefits of a wife without the commitment.
On top of that, living together as a couple for "X-amount of time" makes you common-law married in most states. You can be saddled with his debts. If he dies, you don't have the ability to collect the life insurance, and if he is on life support, you don't have the ability to pull the plug... yet they can hold you responsible for all the hospital bills. So there you have all the risks and none of the benefits.
Yes, move out on your own, but don't move in with your boyfriend without at least an engagement ring and a set wedding date.
2007-10-12 18:44:58 · answer #4 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The reason you are afraid to tell your dad is because you know deep inside that what you are doing is really a violation of your own value system. It's not how your father raised you and you feel guilty about it. If felt truly confident that there nothing wrong with your plan, you would have no problem standing up to Dad.
2007-10-12 18:49:42 · answer #5 · answered by Shawn R 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Is it possible that you are not struggling with how to tell your dad, but rather if it is okay to move in with your boyfriend? Relationships that begin with cohabitation instead of marriage are twice as likely to fail. If this man does not have enough integrity to marry you before living with you, he's not worth being with! Choose to have enough respect for yourself and realize you are worth so much more. You are worth being waited for. You are worth being pursued. You are worth being married. Tell your dad. Let him tell you why it is not okay...not because you are his only child or baby girl, but because this is wrong. It will hurt him because you know and he knows that it is not a safe, wise, or productive life decision. Do the right thing.
2007-10-12 18:00:33 · answer #6 · answered by Glory 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you are struggling on how to tell your Dad because you were raised to know that living together without being married is wrong in your Dads eyes. Do you have to live with your boyfriend? I mean can you get your own apt. and let your boyfriend visit? What is the rush? Believe me you could be setting yourself up for heartbreak.
2007-10-13 01:26:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
This is always tough.. Daddy's little girl! As long as he has seen that your boyfriend is decent and that he cares for you your dad should eventually adapt. Maybe use the time you have to get your bf to come over and get to know your dad and visa versa. Let your dad observe the two of you and it may be a little easier for him. No matter what tell him soon so he has time to adjust. Good luck and remember he will always be your daddy and you his baby girl no matter what. Enjoy.
2007-10-12 18:00:57 · answer #8 · answered by jodi k 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
if you wait till your 30 it's still going to hurt him when his little girl moves out.just break it to him easy.dads hurt deep when it comes to there little girls.i know I'm a dad.with two little girls.and three boys.and it hurts when the boys grow up and leave to.
2007-10-12 18:39:56 · answer #9 · answered by git r done 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Go get your college education first. Then if your relationship last that long then you have my permission to do what ever you want to do. You will be knowledgeable to know better.
2007-10-12 19:03:55 · answer #10 · answered by Bones 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋