I'm 28...not that it matters. My friend and I had an argument Monday night because I told him some things that were bothering me about our friendship...like the way he treats me, etc. He "thinks" I'm too dependent on him (I'm not) and says that he thinks that we shouldn't see each other as often (we were seeing each other weekly). I haven't heard from him since, but he said to give him 2 weeks and he'd talk to me soon. Fine. The problem I'm having now is that he knows that my biggest fear in the world is losing people close to me (long story) and I'm so hurt and angry at him for doing what he did, but at the same time, I miss him so much. Part of me just wants to see and talk to him, but part of me really wants to tell him to go to you know where. I don't want to lose his friendship, though. I'm just not sure how to respond when he calls again. He didn't end the friendship. He's just being an *A* hole right now. I'm just hurt, angry and sad at the same time. Help!
2007-10-12 17:45:26 · 3 answers · asked by First Lady 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If he knows your insecurities and uses that as a weapon, why would you want to be friends with him in the first place? That doesn't sound like a friend to me. You need to talk it out with him if and when he calls. Have you ever heard of that saying to "let a bird go. If it comes back to you, it was yours. If it doesn't come back, then it was never yours"? Apply that to this situation. If he calls and wants to talk it out, then he's your friend. If he doesn't, then he was never really a friend to you. There are so many other people that you can be friends with. You need to have enough self-esteem and belief in yourself, sweetie. You can make friends...true friends aren't hard to find. They're right in front of you, all you have to do is reach out.
2007-10-12 17:58:32 · answer #1 · answered by Beth C 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, he is being an 'A' hole and he is exploiting your vulnerability (your fear of losing relationships). But also it seems as though he is backing off as gently as he knows how (so give him some credit). When you do hear from him be friendly and upbeat. Guys really freak at female 'emotionalism'. It sounds to me as though you need to broaden your life--the more people and things that interest you the less dependent you are on any one. And the more you have to fall back on in times of need--like now.
2007-10-13 01:10:15 · answer #2 · answered by Delphi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, you don't say you have been having a sexual relationship, so I'll assume you have not. That being said, it sounds like your friend is feeling pressured into being more than he is. Have you been asking him for help to do this or that? If so, I would not do that anymore. Maybe he thinks you are going to want a relationship? Either way, I say dump him and don't look back. It doesn't sound like he wants to be your friend anyway. I know your lonely, but you deserve better. You have to quit stressing on this. Go out, do things with friends. Keep active, work out, jog, keep busy. There is always a guy who will want to be there for you. Try craigslist.com. Works for me!
2007-10-13 00:57:11 · answer #3 · answered by Marissa M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋