A month and a half my nephew got kicked out of the house by his girlfriend, i told him he could stay at my place but he would have to pay a little bit towards the rent 150 dollars, he is working and i figured he could pay me but his girlfriend has been messing with his mind and he has been giving her money and he has been lieing to me about it, he said he was supposed to get paid october 2 but it is now the 12th, he said he was getting a check today and that he would be paying me today, i was relying on the money to pay for my Gout medicine and to buy some food, feeding him costs money out of my pocket, he used up all the minutes on my cell phone talking to his girlfriends dog, i got a cell phone for emergencies there has been times my gout has been so bad i had to go to the emergency room, he is acting like a bum to me, i would buy him subway dinners and cigerettes for him because he is my nephew, what should i do about this situation?
2007-10-12 17:20:33 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Your nephew is mistreating you, taking advantage of your family feeling for him.
You must do two things.
1. Refuse to pay for anything more for him.
2. Give him 2 weeks to get out.
I doubt that you will get him to pay you the money he owes you. He will string you along and try to continue to milk you for more money. Don't fall for this.
Good luck to you, and get some 100% cranberry juice. Drink 2 oz. each morning and at least a quart of plain water each day, and avoid rich, fatty, and high-sugar foods so you can get your gout under control. Otherwise, you will run out of money for that reason, too.
2007-10-12 17:26:38 · answer #1 · answered by nora22000 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi there. It sounds like two people need to grow up. Your nephew... and you! Give him limits and then YOU must stick to the rules and enforce them too. He needs to know there are consequences for his choices. You DON'T use the phone to talk to... a dog! A DOG?!? REALLY? Are you kidding me?
He eats what everybody else eats. No special treats like Subway and cigarettes. AND... give him the DEADLINE for money or he MUST find somewhere else to live.
It doesn't have to sound like an ultimatum. But he's got to learn how to grow up and be a man. How to live in the real world. And you have to help him. Babying him isn't the way. It's bad for your health and it's not teaching him anything if you let him get away with this kind of behavior.
Get tough and Good luck.
2007-10-12 17:29:19 · answer #2 · answered by inkypinky373 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is being a bum and using you. You have to confront him with your concerns. Lay down the law and tell him that you rely on his help and if he cannot follow through with his agreement, then he will have to find other arrangements. you have to give him an ultimatum. Pay by a given date or you need to be out by a given date. Make him pay you each payday. In the meantime, give him room and board and nothing else. If he's hungry he can eat PB&J, tuna fish, or Ramen noodles. Nicotine fits, oh well. Does he want a roof over his head or a nicotine fix more? It sounds like he needs a reality check of what the real world is. Give it to him!
2007-10-12 17:28:44 · answer #3 · answered by bayoubelle24 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To start with I would suggest speaking to him and telling him exactly what you've written here so he knows what your concerns are. I know it can be difficult to talk openly with people (even relatives) but the majority of problems are caused because people won't openly discuss problems they have with other people and let things brew.
The second thing I would suggest besides this is to stop buying him cigarettes and giving him access to the cell phone. Then take things from there. He's going through a tough time so it's good to have some sympathy for him but he may not realize he's abusing your charity because he's too wrapped up in his own problems.
2007-10-12 17:26:58 · answer #4 · answered by Scott K 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Pack his stuff while he is gone to work and put in the garage with a note on the door telling him where his things are and change the locks. Cut your losses, and he is a jerk for using you that way even if he is your nephew. He is a sorry sack of sh it. Have you ever thought this is the reason the girlfriend kicked him out? He probably wasn't giving her money either.
2007-10-12 17:24:25 · answer #5 · answered by Sparkles 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Family or not stop enabling this manipultive person....he got kicked out from Girl friend not Mom and Dad so he is not a child and his folks have cut him loose probably because he used them just like he is using you...OUT OUT OUT you do not owe him anything, look up "Tough Love" this is the support system YOU need to help you stop feeling responsible for some one else above your self when 'your self' badly needs you to be taking care of your self.....he will NEVER grow up and be able to take care of himself when you catch him before he even falls. Did you treat your parents or aunts and uncles like this..........I doubt it if you have gout that should put you at an age where when you were young elders were respected....... be nice if possible but absolutely BE ADAMANT, BE FIRM, expect it to be emotionally draining even painful but do it set him on his own two feet on the otherside of your door......
2007-10-12 17:39:23 · answer #6 · answered by Judy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I would have a long talk with him about your situation and tell him you need help with the money so you can pay for your meds, and give him another chance to pay when he gets his check and if not, even though he is your nephew, I would kick him out because you have to worry about YOU and your health. I think his girlfriend is using him for his money.
Hope everything works out for you.
Good Luck
2007-10-12 17:27:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him has to gvie you that money or he's out by the end of the month. It may be hard...but he'll keep taking advantage of you.
Don't let him use your cell phone anymore. And tell him to buy his own food. Rent is for a place to stay....it doesn't include those extras.
2007-10-12 17:27:07 · answer #8 · answered by Sunshine Queen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not helping him you are hurting him by supporting his bad habits_ Smoking-fast food for dinner- talking to a dog on the phone-not paying rent- being a bum and running over you.
if you stop his bad habits you are helping him
2007-10-12 17:28:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, obviously he is not a man of his word and you should explain to him that as much as you would like to help him, it does not appear he wishes to help himself. Remind him of the agreement you had with regard to the rent and tell him you did not take him to raise.
150.00 is not a whole lot of money, but if he can find other living arrangements for less, invite him to do so.
2007-10-12 17:27:20 · answer #10 · answered by drewxjacobs 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋