Any tips for a long distance relationships?

Question

This question has been asked every day. This guy and I are a perfect match. We live halfway across the country from each other. It's really early in our "relationship" but I wondered if anyone had any tips on long distance relationship! Thanks.

Answer 1

I met my current fiance online. I lived in KY and he lived in MT. About 1500 miles difference. It was really hard at times. He came to visit me and meet my family first, and then a little over a year later I visited him in MT. I later moved and we're together getting married dec. 15. The biggest thing is patience, and trust. IT's hard- but if you're both dedicated it can work. Try to visit often, but I know financially that can be difficult. Having to work through the distance will make your relationship stronger. There are ups and downs just like a short distance relationship. Don't give up, and it can work. We talked every night on the phone, and sent each other packages. I had to sacrifice and move- if you ultimately want to be together, then someone is going to have to move, and I hope someone is prepared to do that, or both of you to a new location altogether. Good luck.

Answer 2

My fiance and I had a long distance relationship for a while so I can feel your pain. It is a very hard situation. You each get lonely and miss one another a lot i'm sure. It sucks being away from each other and you dont feel like you share a life. We did it for a year and then we decided to move to be together. We are still together so although people will tell you its not worth it, you have to try or you'll never know. But unless both of you are commited, trustworthy, have good communication between you and are ready to put in the work, then it wont work. I say its worth it to try but it is a tough situation. If its meant to be it will work out!! good luck= )

Answer 3

I am in a long distance relationship myself. My girl lives in New York and I live in Orlando, Florida. You both have to trust, believe and communicate with each other. I don't know how it will work out for you. I guess everyone is different in their own way. Me and my girl talk to each other every morning when she is on her way to work, when she is on her lunch break, and right before she goes to bed. We also mail each other stuff that that we talk about.. it could be something as a rose, a movie, books, etc. nothing expensive or over the top... good luck to you.

Answer 4

Regular phone calls, emails, and care packages are cute. You should both also have some money saved for visiting each other. They are worth it to get to know each others families and friends. They won't be such skeptics if they just get to know him (as most people are about long distance relationships). Letters are more romantic then emails cause you can add lipstick kisses and perfume to them. Also, be honest with each other 100%. The lack of physical contact can be the hardest. Good luck!

Answer 5

You can try to keep in touch, but the truth is you both will change by your environments. Depending on how old you are, you will have many guys that you feel you are a perfect match with. Are both of you going to stay home on Friday, Saturday nights? It's really hard to keep a relationship going this way.

Sorry,

Answer 6

Yes, don't do it. It is a perfect match until you move and throw everything you know away to be with someone far. Been there done that. Sometimes it works, but rarely. Remember, that it is perfect because you two don't spend a lot of time together and it still feels new. When you are thrusted together and living together, it's a whole new ball game.

Answer 7

Chile, let me tell ya...I'm the Oprah and Dr. Phil of LDRs :) Creativity, creativy, creativiy! That's #1. With all the technology (IMs, SMS, webcams, cell phones, etc) the world is a much smaller place. I use to (sorry, we are broken up now, but we were together 5 years), send him care packages and write hand written letters and poems ever so often. He LOVED handwritten letters- go figure with all the technology. But it makes sense. The best thing in a LDR is to remain creative in keeping him in the room with you and you him. Your face, your scent, your article of clothing, your voice. You basically have to feel like he's right around the corner. That's how we got through it. And of course, an up personal and CLOSE relationship with Spirit, Priceline, Hotwire and Southwest airlines ;) Our problem was that we are both licensed in our respective states, so neither one of us wanted to start over in another state. One of our favorite things was to plan a 'cheaper' trip to a middleground state (Tenn, Chi, NC,). Not because we had problems traveling to Florida (him) and MIchigan (me). But we liked little getaways and a lot of times if was cheaper to simply fly somewhere on sale and/or closer! :) And if you find an airline with a hub in his state (or yours), you can ALWAYS find cheap flights. For us it was Spirit. I think we did great. We did not break up b/c of the distance, that's for sure. We made it creative and fun. I think I saw him more than I see my current boyfriend. lol.

Oh I would be lieing if I did not mention...phone sex :-/ It's a must, dear. We didn't do the cyber thing, though. That was a bit much for me.

The main thing missing in LDRs that you have in person is personal perception of actions, attitude, dismeanor. I know that personality is most important, but please do not underestimate the importance of physical chemistry. I can love a man to death, but HATE being around him! The closer you get to him, the MORE you need to see him (most people think the opposite and that is not true). Let's face it, women are naturals at PARANOIA. It will slowly start to eat away at you that you can see his place, or signs that no girl has been over, or that you can't drive by his house when he's not answering the phone...trust me. I really do not feel that great conversation and personality are enough to last forever. You need to see him enough to keep those things under control.

Finally :)...I will note that I think my LDR lasted for so many years because, quite frankly, we started that way! Therefore, it was all we knew. People who start close, and then move apart have a much harder time (i think). Which further stresses my point that personal interaction is key. Just remember that you and he have a wonderful oppurtunity to REDEFINE "personal interaction."

Ok. That's enough blabber :) Hope at least one thing made sense.

Good luck!

***ADDED NOTE***
Wow. Everybody is really negative on this issue, eh? Yeah, mine ended, but gee whiz. It wasn't b/c of distance. These people sound BITTER. Don't get "he did me wrong," confused with "it won't work!" Yes, trust and communication are key, but damn. I guess I needed to add PATIENCE- which most people are not.

Answer 8

unless you know this person really really well and know he is for you (all ready in love wanting to get married) don't do it. when you chat on the computer and phone and visit once in a blue moon you dont get to know him... all the wile you fall more and more in love with a (mystery)and that's all it is you said it is ...early... so you don't know if he is perfect for you at all, you don't know (men are good at being fake especially on the phone and a one time visit every once in awhile) wake up it wont work and if it dose when you 2 Finlay meet and hook up you will be disappointed ....but you have this bond you have kindled over The years from your light interactions and the break up may not happen and you will live unhappily ever after

Answer 9

yup i had one for 2 years, biggest waste of time ever! Found out he was cheating on me the Whole time! It wont work, there is 2 much temptation in this world. Sorry if it is not what you wanted to hear. But take it from someone who was in your spot 6 years ago. ( I only lived 6 hours away from him and it was that bad, i cant imagine halfway across the country)

Answer 10

I'm sorry, but there's not much advice for this situation. In the end, if you two are truly meant to be together, then it will work out. It will be very hard though, not being able to be close to each other. Much of a relationship has to do with physical time spent together.