A while back at work I was looking and checking out other girls and then came home and told my girl about it and how I felt about it...and then right after my last relationship before I met her I told her that when I first met her I was just using her to get over my ex too...is my being too honest with her and almost telling her everything a bad thing?
2007-10-12 15:47:47 · 12 answers · asked by NoLongerHere 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
honesty is such a vital thing in a relationship.....sure it might urt for a while but things change and it always gets better....
2007-10-13 08:48:07 · answer #1 · answered by xeroxed 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't ever consider honesty to be a bad thing. Opening up and telling the truth has a way of liberating you from that sticky web of lies you can so easily entangle yourself in.
You should never think that lying is ever appropriate, because it's not- not in any situation for any reason, for any motive, selfish or otherwise. Don't lie. It tells people you don't care and you don't trust them because you won't clue them into what you've been doing and saying. It's not a good feeling to know you're being lied to, is it? Do you ever enjoy that feeling?
Look, you two are in a serious, commited relationship, right? Well, she needs to know if you are looking at other women or if you still have feelings for your ex and she most definately needs to know the motives behind the things you do. Don't you agree? I sure hope you do. She may get upset with you, but how much more upset would she be if you started lying to her and she eventually caught you? She is much more likely to understand and forgive you if you tell her the truth.
I consider telling the truth to be a special kind of apology. When you are honest with a person it is usually because you did something bad, something someone didn't want you to do, right? Well, by telling the truth, you admit your weakness, you admit what you did, you admit that what you did was not what was expected or wanted of you, and most likely a verbal apology follows. Telling the truth also lets a person know you trust them and care about them enough to let them know what you've been up to.
Telling a lie also is against the Ten Commandments. God says to be honest with one another. Please listen to Him. Trust me, He knows what he's talking about. He knows you and He loves you. He only wants the best for you. Trust him.
I hope this helps you. God bless you!
2007-10-12 23:07:37 · answer #2 · answered by MK4JCGirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You present a dilemma. If you said such things to me, I would feel that I was a rebound relationship and close off my hope for a future with you, only enjoy the here and now. But being honest about how you feel would let her choose her reactions accordingly. Hopefully you are just as honest with your own reactions to this relationship. Don't jump in to a new love before you are done dealing with the fallout from the last one.
2007-10-12 23:42:42 · answer #3 · answered by dizzkat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honesty is one of the foundations for a healthy relationship. What is important is your intentions behind the communication. Why did you tell her of these things? Were you feeling guilty and wanted to clear your feelings of guilt. The intentions here are not for her advancement but for your own. Better off not judging yourself and being free of guilt. That way you can own your emotions and not make them someone Else's responsibility. You always have a choice of what you say. Be clear on your motivations and intentions behind the communication. That is how you become truly honest.
2007-10-12 22:57:09 · answer #4 · answered by ong.kar 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
how did your girlfriend react when you told her those things? it sounds like it didn't bother her. honesty is definitely a good thing in a relationship. but, there's a point where being honest can hurt the others feelings. there's a fine line. you just need to feel her out to find that line.
2007-10-12 22:57:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No you being honest is all a girlfriend really wants! its not easy to say the truth about how you feel but its good to hear the truth rather than a lie about something bad....so good for you because some guys lie about those kinds of things.
2007-10-12 22:53:54 · answer #6 · answered by In love! 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If your honesty is hurting your girl's feelings, then don't say anything. Some things aren't necessary to tell (like those things you've said), you could avoid some arguments by holding these pointless things in sometimes
2007-10-12 22:56:09 · answer #7 · answered by First Lady 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your "honesty" sounds just mean... why would you tell her that stuff? You must have had some clue that what you said is only going to hurt her feelings... I would almost bet that since you started dating your girlfriend her self-esteem has dropped... Your honesty is arrogant and selfish.
2007-10-12 22:56:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Some things she doesnt need to know so maybe before you go telling her think about it
2007-10-12 22:53:36 · answer #9 · answered by CupCake 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You should be honest but there are something we don't need to know.
2007-10-12 22:56:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋