My sister is married ten years. She is 35 yrs. old with three kids. I am 26 yrs. old and made 30,000 last year but recently got a raise to 5,000 dollars. Big raise, thank G-d. Our parents both died; father in Sept. 03' and mother in Feb. '05. I stayed in the same apt. I grew up in because the price is cheaper than anywhere else. Between my sister and her husband, they probably make around 90,000. However, she claims they hardly have any savings and their account was down to 100 dollars. That they have to pay off all kinds of credit cards and schools for the kids. Supposedly, my nephew goes to a special school for a neurological problem for 20,000 per year. So, we had to buy a double stone ($2,800) which needed to be bought in three months. I had to almost go broke to pay this out and buy it. I am still recovering. She claimed they couldn't split it that I HAD to pay it so that we can have the unveiling of it before our relatives go back to Florida for the year. Now, my brother in law,
2007-10-12 15:43:29 · 7 answers · asked by justellemJimsaidhello 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
called a few weeks ago while I was at work and left a message on my machine saying that they found out we have to pay 3,000 for the upkeep and that "it's real cheap...only 100 dollars a month which we can split between us and you". Is it right that they are talking to me this way? Should I tell them that I will only pay 100 bucks for it and they have to pay out the rest. 2900 from me and 2900 from them? I had to borrow money for my rent from friends after this recently!! It was awful and I was embarrassed because now they think I don't earn enough money which is wrong. I just had this little setback.
2007-10-12 15:45:32 · update #1
Also, my sister and I have always had a good relationship. Nothing happened between us. Why would they ask me of all this without even offering to pay back half of it later (if not while I'm paying half for the stone). They don't seem like family to me!
2007-10-12 15:46:33 · update #2
Sometimes you have to be assertive enough to say no or to voice out your opinion in this matter. Don't let them make you feel guilty because you know you are just being fair.Tell them honestly you also have a life to live and that sometimes they should do something about the expenses.Don't let them depend on you, chances are you will end up being miserable.Goodluck ^_^
2007-10-12 15:50:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It seems your sister was very forthcoming with what their financial situation is. You should feel free to be as open with them about your situation. If you were in a better financial picture, then it might be reasonable for them to ask you to contribute more. But just as your sister and her husband have obligations, so do you.
Tell them you are unable to pay the full $3000 after already paying for the stone. Are any of the relatives who had to see the unveiling in such a timely manner able to help out financially? If not, talk to your sister and tell her your plan for paying the $100. That seems very reasonable. Since you have a good relationship with her, I'm sure she'll be able to see your point. Don't turn this into a family feud. Be open and honest with her about your current conditions and about your feelings. She may not realize what's going on with you. Give her a chance to make things right.
2007-10-12 22:59:36 · answer #2 · answered by innerradiancecoaching 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Im sorry about your parents deaths.Its really sad that when people pass on a lot of petty stuff happens.They do sound like they might just be taking advantage of you.I would say you already forked out enough money and its their turn to pitch in.Dont back down or Im sure youd regret it later.Good luck:)
2007-10-12 22:55:47 · answer #3 · answered by superstar 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yeah your right!! When my father-in-law died me and my husband also got stuck with the whole bill. No one cared we had 2 kids and the 3rd on the way. And it really about killed us finical, and they still bring up he needs a headstone.. And I just got pissed and told them I got stuck paying for the funeral so if they wanted a headstone, They needed to buy it...
2007-10-12 22:53:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell them what you feel frankly. this may looks hard but they should know that their responsibilities are not your responsibility too and you have your own needs.
you can help them but not to the point that they're taking too much advantage of you. say no sometimes. ive help my brother too but not too much because i know one day he would ask more. so, in your case they'd ask for more and depend on you, because they had an assurance that you will give them what they want...
2007-10-12 23:05:18 · answer #5 · answered by m0cca 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are acting like creeps! You need to tell them that you do not have the money. IF they pop an attitude, hang up on them.
2007-10-12 22:47:42 · answer #6 · answered by maggiemae363 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
just say no.
2007-10-12 22:52:08 · answer #7 · answered by Aloha_Ann 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋