and he obviously has been extremely upset. I have been trying to do my best to make him feel better, but I feel like I'm not helping. I don't really know what to say to him. I have never lost anyone one that was close to me, so I don't really understand how he is feeling. Any advice on how I should help him through this? What I should say to him to help try and make him feel better?
2007-10-12 15:22:18 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
while there are similarities in the so called grieving process, it would be best to ask him what he needs. people grieve in different ways he might feel better talking to family and remembering the good times they had with his grandfather. he might prefer not to talk about it. he might want to be alone. he might want to keep busy. he might want to go on with life because that would be what his grandfather wanted. if the funeral has not happened yet is he someone that will feel relief by going if so would he like you to go too (my mother found it strange but it helps me to go to the funeral it helps me overcome the shock, cry/grieve, and "say goodbye", but i know some people hate to go to funerals).
if he does not know it already let him know you never had a loved one die so you do not know what he is going through but you will help/support him however you can.
do not try to make him feel better. he needs to be able to be sad and grieve. while people take different amounts of time to grieve, if after several months he just cannot get over his grief you could recommend that he see a therapist. remember he might be fine but then become sad around his grandfather's birthday or some other significant days in his grandfather's life. let him know you are there for him no matter what he needs be it a shoulder to cry on, silence, someone to be with, someone to "escape" the grief with, etc.
even though you have never had a loved one die. you can and will be able to support and help him through this.
2007-10-12 15:49:15 · answer #1 · answered by :-D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I lost my grandfather almost a year ago and my grandmother about 3 months ago. If you asked my boyfriend he would tell you that he didn't help me at all but just having him there so if I needed anything was enough. My advise to you would be to let him talk if he needs to talk, cry if he needs to cry, or what ever. You being there will be enough and will be more of a help than you can understand without being in the situation yourself! My heart goes out to you both because I understand all too well what you are going through.
2007-10-12 15:31:32 · answer #2 · answered by Jane T 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Basically he's going through this alone in a sense because we all experience loss in a bubble even if there's a million people around. Maybe it would help him to talk about the good memories of his grandpa. Everyone deals with it differently. Give him some time and space and eventually he'll find a way to get through it...just be there for him in a supportive role. Let him know "hey I love you, and i'm here if you need anything." Just don't try and FIX IT, because you can't.
2007-10-12 15:28:36 · answer #3 · answered by Hope H 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's very sweet of you to want to know what to do to help him at this time but the best thing you can do is just be there for him right now. Don't smother him and try to get his attention and don't get mad at him because of how he might be acting for the next few days or weeks.
He is shocked by the news and he's grieving his loss of a loved one and it will take some time for things to get back to normal. The only thing you can say right now is you're sorry for his loss.
2007-10-12 15:33:15 · answer #4 · answered by WilmaF 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't say much other than you are sorry for his loss and will keep him in your prayers. There is not much you can do or say to make him feel better. Just give him enough space to morn with his family and not worry about you. He will come get you if he really needs you. Just be there when he does.
2007-10-12 15:29:05 · answer #5 · answered by wife2denizmoi 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
suitable now he's hurting. He desires you to be his chum extra advantageous than something. He does not anticipate you to tell him you love him all he needs is a few help. i might propose going to the funeral and helping him by this not undemanding time.
2016-10-22 05:24:02 · answer #6 · answered by Erika 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advise - Don't say anything. Just let him know you are there for him and then let it be. I had someone very close to me die and I got tired of people telling me how sorry they are. (I still hear it nearly 5 years later.) Each person has to deal with this in their own way. If you are there for him, he will let you know if he needs something.
2007-10-12 15:30:34 · answer #7 · answered by Truth is elusive 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Usually when someone dies, you cant really help them, they have to come to terms with it themselves, give a little room, and if he needs you he will come
2007-10-12 15:25:50 · answer #8 · answered by 281 Playa 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋