Can religion (any religion) help alleviate my terrible burden of 360-induced guilt?

Question

Ever since I got a 360 page, I've been committing a number of new sins.

1. I'm really slack about visiting other people's pages to leave messages or read and comment on their blogs. I only seem to do it if people do me first.

2. I've got about 40 friends, but I really only have time for about 11, and I never seem able to turn down a request. Everyone is just so nice!

3. I hate passing on chain letters, and sometimes Yahoo doesn't let it go through but then it's like nobody will believe me.

4. I write long tedious blogs (sometimes twice a day) and then nag, threaten and blackmail everyone until they read them.

5. I keep stalking, harassing and cyber-molesting my friends and having online orgies with them - hmm, actually I don't really feel guilty about that one because it's way fun.

Is there a religion which specifically deals with Internet-related sins, as these are the main ones I commit?

Answer 1

Yes, the Church of St. Buk, of which I am the Pope. All you have to do is say a "Hell Mary" or however many I tell you to upon confession. Usually I just make you do a half of a "Hell Mary", which is, simply, "Hell". Best to post it in a comment on my 360 page as proof of your penance.
I now judge that you must say a half of a "Hell Mary" for each of the sins you've confessed to, except for #5 because that IS fun, and #2 because you're so damn SWEET. So just 3 halves of "Hell Mary's" will absolve you of any guilt. That's all there is to it!
Bless you my child, go in peace.

Answer 2

The Bible doesn't say that! The only knowledge Adam and Eve might have gained in eating of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil (Where did this idea that it was an apple come from?) was how to do evil (sin). Besides, Christianity is not about guilt as much as it is about forgiveness. If acknowledging that we aren't perfect makes it a religion of guilt than so be it. I'd rather have a religion that calls a spade a spade than one that denies reality.

Answer 3

No, every religion will except sins and there is no one with specific ones. Try Orthodox-it's not those fake new ones where someone says "hay I'll open up a church and have people worship who ever i choose". Orthodox Christian is very true and if you go to the church of it you can confess all your sins to a priest who will say prayers and ask god to forgive you. I f you truly want to be forgiven all your sins will be erased- not kidding! Try it after telling the priest you will feel better. He won't say a word. (only god can forgive you-the priest just helps send the message)!!!

Answer 4

There is one fantastic way of overcoming guilt and that is through the art of love and service to ones fellow man .Through this living art we can as well burn up alot of bad karma we may have accumulated down the ages through out our many incarnations in the past.

Answer 5

i don't know about religion but i do know i like the long orgies the threatening blackmail and lets not forget the molestation. i secretly hate chain emails but i pass them on anyway. so come and visit me sometimes! i will molest u if u do!

Answer 6

No religion is effective if you don't want to change yourself. You are pretty proud of yourself. When something really bad happens to you, something life altering or threatening, then you can't change fast enough. On all levels. [I suppose you'll stalk everyone then too, but who will care?] It happened to me the worst Christain hater of them all. Praise God.

Answer 7

No but you have to consider this: which is worse... 360 or 69-induced guilt??

One's way more fun than the other.

Answer 8

Start by losing your religion. That's what caused the guilt in the first place!

Answer 9

Pray to Bill Gates for forgiveness

Answer 10

YES,,,,it is called 'SAY A PRAYER FOR ME"....try it and actually talk to the God up above. You'll feel better cause you have already repented your sins.