So i came home from work today, and my babysitter asked me to sit down with her. She has been watching my daughter for about 8 months (my daughter is 2.5), and weve loved having her. So i sit down with her and she tells me about how my daughter kept talking back to her, was misbehaving, and finally came up to the babysitter and told her she was stinky. The babysitter told me she slapped my daughter across the face. She said she didnt mean to, she didnt even think about it, it just happened. She said she calmed my daughter down and held a cool washcloth on her face for her. I was speechless...what do you say to that? I respect her for coming clean to me...but should i keep her employed here? She obviously felt bad, and has a concience, which is nice, but if she did it without even thinking...that makes me very nervous. What would you do?
2007-10-12 14:04:08 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
you need to contact the police, and make sure she knows about it. Things happen, I understand but come on now! It is NEVER ok for a babysitter to touch a child like that. Try to let your guilt go!
2007-10-12 15:40:53 · answer #1 · answered by LolaMola 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a mother with a two and a half year old, I would go ballistic over this. We do spank our son when he really needs it (and I don't even want to get into the issues some people have with that! :) ) but I would never, ever strike my son, and I'd be ready to kill anyone else who did! I'm sure she does feel horrible (who wouldn't!) but you can not continue to employ this woman. I really wouldn't care what her reasons were for slapping the child, but particularly since it was over such a trivial thing, I'd be very, very concerned. Also, I know if someone my son trusted ever slapped him across the face, he would likely not want to be around them anymore anyway. If you do decide to keep employing her, please set up a camera. I have been a nanny in the past, and can't imagine ever striking any of my past client's children, much less my own. There is no telling what other behavior she may consider acceptable, even if she did tell you about this time. I honestly wouldn't give her a whole lot of credit for explaining the incident, since I'm sure she assumed your daughter would tell you when you got home if she didn't first. Good luck!
2007-10-13 04:35:13 · answer #2 · answered by Laura N 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Me personally...I would probably have fired her after beating her down. There is no excuse 4 her putting her hands on ur child. If she felt she couldn't handle ur child being out of control, she should have called u. I do give her credit 4 being up front, but u r right if she doesn't have control what will happen next time. Now no one likes 2 put their child in jeopardy, but only u know the real situation...if u feel she is trustworthy to give her a second chance for ur own reasons (I know it's hard 2 find some1 who will truly care 4 ur child and also 2 b an honest person) then go ahead, but I would put cameras or something in the house. If it happens again, then u give her the boot and report her so she can never watch kids again. Ur going 2 get a lot of ppl saying that's crazy, don't give her a second chance...but again only u know the whole story and no one else is in ur shoes. Honestly though if you can afford 2 get some1else and relieve her, I would bcause u don't need 2 go 2 work worrying if something is going on at home. This will eventually wear on you. Now there is more than 1 side u need 2 take care of. I know kids go through there stages, but that's not acceptable behavoir. If this behavior is not normal 4 ur child, u may have 2 ask ur child what's going on that may have her acting up. Now if she is acting like this even with u, ur going 2 have 2 work on it bcause u may have more problems with other sitters. Sweetie, I wish u the best....right now u r facing a parent's worst nightmare. Just remember ur child and her safety comes first. And I commend you for handling the situation the way you r, bcause u r teaching ur child far better than a lot of us today who result to violence (c above), arguing, and anger (which we pass on 2 our children).
2007-10-12 14:24:39 · answer #3 · answered by latinajv 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would fire her.. I wouldn't trust her again.. Maybe she wanted to tell you then in case her finger marks would be on the face.. Now, how do you know if she was not hurting your daughter in the past? My trust would be lost.. I think i wouldn't be able to leave my kids with that girl again.. Even if she only did it once... Another thing, if she did it once.. What makes you think she'll never do it again? .. This is hard, but what would I do? I would definitely get rid of that babysitter... Your daughter will sometimes misbehave and there is no reason why a babysitter should lose patience and hurt her in any way..
2007-10-12 14:14:48 · answer #4 · answered by Tesorito 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Don't let her touch any of your kids again when she is alone with them.
I understand she feels bad but how can you be sure this was the first time. Maybe she didn't plan on telling you but your daughter might have yelled. "I'm telling Mommy!" And that may have scared her. This child is only two, how could she? If you let her keep on babysitting, she may find the privillage to disipline your children that way acceptable. And your child may get scared of her and a babysitter is supposed make a child feel safe and happy. Not scared.
2007-10-12 14:25:41 · answer #5 · answered by London 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Have you double-checked your babysitter references or background check at websites such as http://www.publicrecordsbank.com ?
Our neighbor found out that their babysitter had a criminal history of abuse by digging a little further. None of the "supposed references" ever told them.
They also did a check on their daycare...just to make sure.
It is good that you posted this question because it appears that your "mother's intuition" and love for your daughter is telling you to make absolutely sure.
It seems as though she is a good person because she has been babysitting her for 8 months without any past incidents. Yet...one of the main benefits of a background check is the way it calms your nerves by letting you know a particular person is okay!
I hope this will help you make a decision. Take care and good luck! :o)
2007-10-12 14:34:22 · answer #6 · answered by Julie M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Forget the nanny cam! She hit your child in the face; that should be enough for you. Get rid of her and find a babysitter that doesn't hit.
The other respondents are right in saying that she's probably done it before and this time was worried you would see the mark later. What else might she do without thinking?
If I were you I wouldn't be concerned over whether or not to allow her near my child again, but whether or not to call the police. You may not want to press charges on her, but do you really want her to be available to other families, potentially hurting their children?
2007-10-12 15:01:17 · answer #7 · answered by Meghan H 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
A babysitter shouldn't spank a child at all!!
That is up to the parent, if that is the method they choose.
She probably was so frustrated that she hit your daughter without thinking first.
Which isn't good at all, but also doesn't mean that it will happen again.
If you both really like the sitter, sit down with her before she sits again, and explain that if it ever happens again you will have to report her.
She sounds like a very trustworthy, responsible person, and it won't happen again=)
Good luck!!
2007-10-12 14:53:40 · answer #8 · answered by Ashley 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's called ASSAULT. The fact that she came clean doesn't make it any less wrong. If you are merciful, you will just let her go and find a new sitter immediately, even if it means you have to take a few days off from work (I'm sure your employer would understand!).
No second chances here...don't be too nice or too forgiving, babies go brain dead at the hands of babysitters...it's time to cut the cord with this sitter for sure.
2007-10-12 14:36:02 · answer #9 · answered by jane 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I have a 2 1/2 year old who I am home with all day...she says a lot of things that she shouldn't, but she is 2 1/2! She has days where she is crazy, and other where she is the sweetest thing.
If your sitter can't handle a crazy day with a 2.5 yr old, it is time for her to go...what else has she done? Ask your daughter, you'd be surprised what comes out of her
2007-10-12 14:12:18 · answer #10 · answered by bmwusa19 1 · 6⤊ 0⤋