my dad blames me because she died in child birth. My older brothers say he is just greiving but im 13 it happened along time ago. And because of how my dad treats me plus hes never home i think of my oldest brother more as a dad than my dad. Is that weird? Is it really my fault my moms dead?
2007-10-12 12:41:43 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It's not your fault you were born.
2007-10-12 12:53:26 · answer #1 · answered by caramello563 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ABSOLUTELY NOT! And if your Mom could speak to you she probably would say if there was a choice between her dying and you dying she would choose for you to live! what a terrible thing for you to think this for all these years. Your father needs to know that he has hurt you by blaming you. At least he didn't put you up for adoption so know that in his heart he loves you. Sure you feel like your brother is a father figure to you. Why wouldn't you if Dad treats your poorly and brother is good to you. It would be so nice if someone could talk to your Dad and tell him the way you feel. He might listen to his mother, sister or close friend. Give it a whirl and always remember your mother carried you for many, many months with love for you. Don't ever doubt that! I'm just sorry for you that you didn't know her except what you have been told. Stay strong!
2007-10-12 12:55:28 · answer #2 · answered by DPL06351 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not your fault that your mother died in child birth. Your dad shouldn't blame you. 13 yrs is a long time to grieve. He should start living for now and think of you as a blessing. Your mom left him someone special to love and care for. When he looks at you he should see her and feel the love they had. It sounds like he needs some counseling. I'm glad that you have your brother to lean on.
2007-10-12 12:55:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, honey it is not your fault. You didn't choose to be born and you certainly didn't choose for your mom to die. 13 years is too long for your dad to continue to blame you. Let him know that it hurts that he can't be a parent to you. It's great that your older brother has stepped up, but your dad needs to get over this and start being a parent. Talk to your school counselor, tell them what is going on at home. Maybe they could have your dad come in and talk with them. If your dad won't get counseling, then do it for yourself. Missing your mom is one thing, but missing out on raising his daughter is another. If you've never brought it up before, he may not realize what he's been doing.
2007-10-12 13:53:52 · answer #4 · answered by teleduster 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It most definately is not your fault. If I were you, I would ask for a family meeting. Ask to sit down with your brother and your dad. Explain to them that you are hurting because of the way you were treated. You couldnt help being born into the world. You mom would be upset if she could see how things turned out now. Just let your dad know that no matter how bad he treats you, you still love him.
2007-10-12 12:53:51 · answer #5 · answered by lpogue2005 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What makes you think that? Dying is natural. Once someone is born they will die. The same applies to you, your brothers, your dad, and everyone.
It's not your fault. But your father better be taking better care of you now. It'll be his fault if anything bad happens to you because of him.
2014-12-08 22:44:54 · answer #6 · answered by Sasaki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can it possibly be your fault? You couldn't have done anything about it.
Your father is wrong for letting you think this.
Talk to a counsellor at school. It's not right for you to carry this burden.
You were just a little baby and did nothing wrong.
No, it's not weird to have dad-like feelins regarding the older brother who's been dad-like to you.
2007-10-12 14:28:25 · answer #7 · answered by tehabwa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were an innocent baby and your dad is being a jerk. He needs to go to grief counseling to learn how to deal with his pain. He has probably not dealt with it at all. This in no way is your fault and your dad should not blame you for this at all. Talk to a counselor at school about and see if there is anything they can suggest to help with your situtation. I am really sorry that your dad blames you for this.
2007-10-12 12:51:36 · answer #8 · answered by Mmgirl 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It isn't your fault. He's mourning, but he's ignoring his duty as a father. It is not your fault, you didn't ask to be born, you couldn't have done anything about it. And seriously, who blames a baby for these things? I sure don't blame my daughter for the scar on my tummy, or the pain of the whole thing.
2007-10-12 12:48:37 · answer #9 · answered by Bridget S 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No it is not your fault..he maybe grieving but he also is being so rude and uncaring about how you may feel..i am just happy that you have a older brother to turn to.
2007-10-12 13:07:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
HELL NO IT ISNT YOUR FAULT! WHATS YOUR DAD THINKING? A PERSON DONT ASK TO BE BORN. HE NEEDS TO GET HELP FOR HIS PAIN. BLAMING YOU IS JUST HIS WAY OF DEALING WITH IT,NO ITS NOT RIGHT. IT HAPPEND ALONG TIME AGO ANYWAY. SURE HE WONT EVER GET OVER HER DYING,BUT HE NEEDS TO STOP BLAMING YOU.
2007-10-12 14:00:21 · answer #11 · answered by TABBYKAT34 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋