Do you have a joke to share?

Question

Just keep it clean, please.

Answer 1

A guy notices a gong in the corner of the room.
He asks "whats that gong for"
A man standing next to him replies,"it's a talking clock"
"A talking clock" he replies
Yeah watch; he hits the gong
A voice in the next room screams out "Stop making all that noise, it's 3:15 in the morning.
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I'd be more apathetic, if I weren't so lethargic

Answer 2

The Sunbather

Joan, who was rather well-proportioned, spent almost all of her vacation sunbathing on the roof of her hotel.

She wore a bathing suit the first day, but on the second, she decided that no one could see her way up there, and she slipped out of it for an overall tan.

She'd hardly begun when she heard someone running up the stairs. She was lying on her stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear.

-- Excuse me, miss, - said the flustered assistant manager of the hotel, out of breath from running up the stairs.

-- The Hilton doesn't mind your sunbathing on the roof, but we would very much appreciate your wearing a bathing suit as you did yesterday.

-- What difference does it make? - Joan asked rather calmly - No one can see me up here, and besides, I'm covered with a towel.

-- Not exactly. You're lying on the dining room skylight.

Answer 3

Here's a clean cute joke for ya...

A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices our Little Johnny trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, Little Johnny is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach.

After watching Little Johnny’s efforts for some time, the priest steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child’s shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a solid ring.

Crouching down to the child’s level, the priest smiles benevolently and asks, “And now what, my little man?”

To which Little Johnny replies, “Now we run!”

Answer 4

They did a survey in california and asked the people if they thought illegal immigration was a problem in california. Only 21% said "yes, it's a problem". What did the other 79% say? "no problemo!"

Answer 5

Ok, here's the dumbest joke I know.
What's round, purple, and goes bam bam bam bam?
A four door grape.

Does that make any freakin' sense?

Answer 6

woman sees sign outside pet shop clitoris lickin frog 50 pound she goes in , id like 2 see the clitoris lickin frog the bloke behind the counter says BONJOUR....

Answer 7

3 people one a island and a geinnie pops up the 1st guy wishes to go home so he goes 2cond guy wishes to go home so he goes.the last guy feels lonly so wishes them both back hahahaha

Answer 8

a little lad goes into a newsagents and asks do you have any helicopter crisps, the assistant says no but we have plain!!!!!! hahahahahahahaha!!!!!! love it xxxxx

Answer 9

Did you hear about the fire at the circus?

It was intense!

("in tents")

Answer 10

I only know dirty jokes!