ok so i have this step mom...and she is crazy. i get in trouble for not helping around the house before i go out. and then when i do help i get in trouble for not helping enough. i feel like everything that i do is wrong. and when ever i do something wrong it affects my dads and hers relationship. what should i do? i dont want to feel like i am always in trouble. how do i make her happy and get to do what i want at the same time... Help! :[
2007-10-12 12:17:16 · 26 answers · asked by MANDI 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I would ask her to sit down and talk to you...
act willing to help and be useful, tell her you want to get along, and you DO want to help around the house, and you don't want to be the cause of her and your dad's arguements...
Tell her your sorry for any problems you have caused...
(this is what being mature is, it sounds like she is still a bit immature and has some growing up to do) Take the high road, and be the bigger person...
When you apologise, hopefully she will too. and tell her you do want to have a good relationship with her.. and then smile at her, ask her what you can do to help out (Before you go out with your friends) she will understand... your a kid and still want to go out too... bring that stuff up in the very last part of your conversation.
2007-10-12 12:24:57 · answer #1 · answered by Buzz B 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to get your work done first. If you are not helping enough fix it. Keeping a roof over your head is hard work. You should be happy seeing them happy. I say, as a mom, that you need to pull it together and show not only respect to your parent's relationship you should become an active and prodoctive member of the household. Afterall, you get to go out and have a good time. Why not cook a meal, clean the kitchen and vacuum the carpet or do the laundry. You are capable of doing that aren't you. You are not Cinderella. Don't just put your dirty socks in the laundry and wipe down the mirror and consider yourself done. Clean the bathroom until it sparkles.Clean your room. Look at the bills so that you know how much money it takes to pay the water bill,heating, CABLE,groceries. This should make you want to mow the lawn or shovel some snow. Then ask if you can go out.
2007-10-12 19:27:28 · answer #2 · answered by black57 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not evil. This is a personality clash. You could easily be having the same problems with a birth parent!
Ask her for a set schedule for what household chores she wants you to do and when!
If she doesnt like the way you do certian things then negiotate to do those chores you can do well?
However if she's some borderline OCD type very little you do will please her anyway!
Ask your father what her family are like?
Maybe she comes from a family where they're all very "domestic" and think alike so people do chores without being asked when they see something that needs to be done?
Or maybe she comes form a troubled background and has this fantasy of the perfect domestic life in which other people cater to her ?
Talk to your father!
2007-10-12 19:25:14 · answer #3 · answered by J V 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just do the best you can, she is not evil, being a mother is a hard job and she is trying to take over the spot of someone you love very much. She may think you are the evil step daughter. Maybe you should set down and talk to her get a list of your chores and exactly what she expects from you. Make a shopping date, cook dinner together, try to get to know her. It will make life easier on you and her and your dad. Just give it try. You might be surprised!
2007-10-12 19:23:14 · answer #4 · answered by teresa m 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why not ask her? Sit down with her some time and say to her calmly that if seems as if she's angry and displeased with you a lot, that you try to help out but that at times it doesn't seem to satisfy her. Ask her to tell you what you can do that would satisfy her and keep you out of trouble. You might be surprised at her answer, perhaps she's not even aware of how she's acting.
Sorry your stepmom is such a bum, I'm a stepmom and I would be horrified if my stepkids felt this way about me.
If all else fails, take your Dad aside and explain things to him. He brought her into the equation, so he needs to help smooth things over. Unless he's so afraid of her that he's willing to let you be mistreated just to keep the peace?
2007-10-12 19:27:03 · answer #5 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whenever You Are About To Go Out Ask Her If There Is Anything She Would Like You To Do And When You Are Finished Ask Her To Check It Out To Make Sure You Did Everything Right Before You Leave
2007-10-12 19:22:50 · answer #6 · answered by Lisa 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your best bet might be to talk to your dad and then both of you talk to your step mom. You should talk about setting up list of chores that you have to get done before you go out. That way you know what's expected of you and your step mom can check just those jobs and then let you do your own stuff.
2007-10-12 19:26:35 · answer #7 · answered by Critter 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to your dad about this...he needs to know whats going on- especially if she's doing this without your dad being there or if your dad doesnt say anything when she's getting you in trouble....she might be going through something that is just making her more irritable and particular about your helping out...if your dad isnt much help then when she is having one of her moments with you- be calm and respectful and ask her what she expects you to do each week and set rules and expectations so that there is some kind of understanding
2007-10-12 19:23:55 · answer #8 · answered by Lindsay C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think as your step mother she is kinda taking over the job as a new mother so why don't you try calling her mom and ask to sit and talk tell her how you fell and just bc she is your step mom she is not your real one. Stand up for you. Ask her to stop treating you wrongly, then tell her that since she and you belong to the same family you should treat me like family not like dirt . Also maybe she is new to the whole kid thing even though this is your dads secong marriage it maybe her first so try being not so hard on her
2007-10-12 19:21:40 · answer #9 · answered by Jazz Isaac 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
talk to her and let her know how you feel...nicely and calmly let her know that you are doing the best you can under the circumstances...and you would like to help out as much as you can and still try and be friends at least.. She knows she is not your mom and she is not trying to play that role...it just seems that way...just a gentle reminder, and perhaps a couple of shopping dates together will get you both on the right track again.
2007-10-12 19:35:40 · answer #10 · answered by h_carlin 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋