I don't get on with my mum at all.
Everything she does annoys me - the sound of her voice especially.
I hate most aspects of her personality.
I sometimes try to be nice, but she is so cruel and spiteful.
I am partly to blame because when I get angry at her, I start screaming.
I just wonder if it's something that can't really be helped.
I'm so fed up!
2007-10-12 11:52:33 · 8 answers · asked by cosmicmoon 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I'm not a teenager; I'm twenty years old.
This has gone on for years.
It's just... blah.
2007-10-12 12:23:00 · update #1
dont know but i seem to clash with my mother in law lol
2007-10-13 01:27:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
By the sound of it I am a lot older than you and can tell you its normal what you describe. There is a saying "you can pick your friends but not your relatives" and that is so true.
My mum and I will talk for hours together on the telephone, but when I go and visit I can give it two days and then we are starting to irritate each other !! I think its because we are very similar and in some cases thats not a bad thing.
Sounds like you are a teenager it can be difficult try seeing things from your mums angle for a couple of days. When you feel irritated by her voice, why is that , I bet its when she is having a moan at you.
Think why is she having a moan, you might not think its ok now but one day when you have children of your own you will sit there and know exactly why and what she was doing things for when you were a youngster because you will be doing the same with your kids.
If your mum is "cruel and spiteful" is she having problems of her own that you may not know about sometimes our parents go through things and you never find out, maybe she is feeling stressed about something. Or perhaps she is seeing you doing things that she may have wanted to do when she was younger and she missed out on them.
There are so many reasons but if you can't talk to your mum about this stuff, do you have an aunt or an older sister or maybe your school has a counsellor a lot of them do now. Go and see if you can have a chat to someone it might help you feel better and also help you see why these behaviours may be going on from both of you.
2007-10-12 12:05:36 · answer #2 · answered by BigMomma2 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is a saying that you can pick your friends but not your family. We as humans are very different and diverse. You were raised by a particular personality type that you just do not connect with on a personal level. It doesn't mean that you do not love her, as she is your mother. It just means that the 2 of you probably will not get along especially well until after you have moved out of her house. It happens sometimes. You are 2 different people and you do not have to agree all the time on everything. Try keeping the screaming down to a dull roar though and that should help the tension level in the house when the 2 of you are there together. You also need to try to talk to her and let her know that there are things that need to be addressed in your relationship together so that you can move past all of the anger and onto a better one. When you feel yourself wanting to scream walk into your room and scream into a pillow until you feel calmed down enough to have a civil discussion with her about what the problem is. Be patient and try to see things from her point of view in order to understand her better also. Good luck.
2007-10-12 12:03:46 · answer #3 · answered by firemouse23 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes some child /parent relationships are difficult. I love all my family members but do not like how they behave at times,they probably feel the same about me. Teenager years are traditionally difficult for both parent and child.Can say that from all sides of the fence. Still now you are twenty perhaps it's time for you to consider getting your own place? Perhaps you would both appreciate each other more if you both had some space.
2007-10-12 14:52:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you have a personality
your mum has a personality
just because she is your mum, doesnt mean at all that you will not clash
try to get her to see that being cruel and spiteful to you is not a good way for a mum to be with her daughter
get her to think about when she was your age and times when her mum was nasty to her - then she should know how you are feeling now
2007-10-12 11:59:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
At certain points of their lives parents and children are at diverse ends. Unless this has been since you were born, I would see it as a stage that you and your mother are going through.
2007-10-12 11:57:14 · answer #6 · answered by Beau R 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry Stephanie, I know how you feel. I always clash with my father. What a prick he is sometimes! Ah well, it could be worse - you could be about to move house with her!
That'd be awful!
2007-10-13 03:39:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
the old saying goes, we can choose our friends but not our family. maybe when you have children of your own you might find you both get on better
2007-10-16 08:49:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋