I've had a hard time coping with the loss of my fiance some years ago...I think I am jealous or something, because every since then, i haven't been attending weddings. NOw a cousin of mine who is as close as a sister has invited me to her wedding. She tried to get me to be in the wedding, but i ignored her calls and avoided my family entirely...
Now I got this invite in the mail and she's calling because i didn't rsvp....
Please help me come up with a way to tell her that I don't wanna go that will not elicit a "why" or another request to go?
2007-10-12 11:43:22 · 13 answers · asked by FavoredbyU 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
you have had a very hard time dealing with your loss (i would too)
have you had any counselling?
i would say your NOT jealous, just grieving the loss of your fiancee, which is totally normal.
don't be afraid of your cousins reaction after-all she is probably not aware of how much this is affecting your emotions.
call her and tell her the truth, if she has a heart she will understand.
in the mean time see a counselling professional to get help.
good luck sweetie.
2007-10-12 12:14:29 · answer #1 · answered by gemstarbabe 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
While I sympathize with your situation, not attending is inexcusable. Be honest with your cousin, explain the situation and ask for extra patience that day, but GO to the wedding. You can't keep putting your life on hold. Get help if you need to, but get out there and get back into life. This is the perfect wedding to start with because it's close family that want nothing but the best for you, which is probably why they're so insistent that you attend. If you don't go you will forever affect your relationship with someone you claim is a "sister". You can't get it back or make up for it. EVER.
2007-10-12 15:30:36 · answer #2 · answered by IamDiDi 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Tell her the truth. Because if you lie, the lie will get bigger and bigger. It's not right to lie, especially to your cousin, that you said is like your sister. Just tell her that you're upset from your fiance and just can't go to weddings. And you should see a counselor or someone that can help you. There isn't anything wrong with you, but they might be able to help you to get over your fiancee's death. good luck.
2007-10-12 12:16:20 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Losing the one you love is rough but you have to go on.Why hurt your cousin if you know what hurt feels like.Remember the one you loved and think of how you were when he was here.Don't you think he'd want you to be happy and make others happy too?You have to move on and let the healing begin.I know you want to start because you could have just not gone..And i know that you didn't expect everyone to submit an excuse for you..If that cousin is so close,talking to her may be just the help you need..She needs you there by her side or she wouldn't keep calling.I hope you do talk to her and go to the wedding..It may be the best thing for you. Goog Luck
2007-10-12 12:25:24 · answer #4 · answered by dusty 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I'm really sorry for your loss, but you need to go to this wedding. This girl is like a sister to you and you should attend her wedding. Get into some counseling, as you say it's been some years and you should have begun some type of healing by now.
2007-10-12 13:38:50 · answer #5 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
"_name of cousin__, I would love to see you get married, but I still have a really really hard time watching other people get married since ___fiance___ passed away. I know that it has been a long time since he passed, but I just can't handle it yet. I am sorry, I am not ready. I hope you have a wonderful wedding and I want to see the pictures, but I hope you understand why I cannot attend."
2007-10-12 11:49:53 · answer #6 · answered by SisterSue 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think you need to attend your cousin's wedding, her feelings will be very hurt if you don't. While we can't forget what's happened to us in the past, it's not healthy for us to keep avoiding circumstances in the future. Your cousin will understand what a sacrifice you are making to attend her wedding and she willl love you more for it!
2007-10-12 11:54:18 · answer #7 · answered by Virginia B (John 16:33) 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You need to get on with your life! Go to the wedding. You can't keep living in the past! It has been some years...I am sure your fiance would not of wanted you to put your life on hold. Start living again.
2007-10-14 14:11:49 · answer #8 · answered by Dance 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Send her a response in the mail.
And you might consider getting counseling, if your problem with weddings is this severe. It seems like it's interfering quite a bit with your quality of life. I'm sorry for your loss.
2007-10-12 11:47:22 · answer #9 · answered by drshorty 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
For someone that close to you, I'm sure that she would understand if you just told her the truth. Let her know that you love her but that your pain is too great yet to attend a wedding.
I'm sorry for your loss.
2007-10-12 11:49:07 · answer #10 · answered by beckini 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋