sexual interest?

Question

What do you do when you lose interest in sex with somebody that you love very much and want to be with for the rest of your life? I love my fiance, but I can't do it anymore. Do I do it anyways and pretend to like it so I don't hurt his feelings? Or do I tell him the truth and make him feel like he isn't good enough or something. I don't want to hurt his feelings. It isn't that he isn't good enough. I love him and I used to really enjoy it, but I don't any more. Also I'm not sexually intgerested in any body else. What is making me not interested anymore. Could something be wrong with me?

I don't want to do it differently. I don't want to do it at all.

not taking medication

Answer 1

No, there is nothing wrong, you are completely normal. You are putting unnecissary pressure on yourself, and this will make you not want it even more.

When I was engaged to my husband I went through the same sort of feelings like you. I love and adore him, but all of a sudden I could not bear the thought of sex, I had no reason that I could think of, and I felt that way for a few months, and sometimes now, I go through phases, as do most people.

So many things can effect someones sex drive, work, pressure, hormones, money, family ... the list is endless.

Enjoy the kisses and cuddles, but dont put pressure on yourself to do anything else.

Answer 2

It sounds like you are/were in my boat. It's not that there is anything wrong with you or him...you just got bored with the same ol' thing. Mix it up a little bit. Take the initiative to spice it up. Do something romantic or out of the ordinary. Or steer him in bed...put his hand where you want to be touched...tell him what you want to do. I've been with my husband for a while, and 3 kids later I felt the same way. But instead of telling him and hurting his manhood I started doing extra stuff I would like...like buy an outfit from Cindie's and wearing it, or lighting candles around and put some music on and do a little dance....it will make him excited but it will actually make you feel very erotic and sexy....have him shave you or you shave him...there are all kinds of things you can do to spice things up! That's all you need! have fun practicing!

Answer 3

Maybe your sex life turned to routine (ie, you follow the same steps during a sex session) and that has killed the passion.

If that's the case, fear not. There is solution. Try different settings, role playing, etc. Going to a motel is a great idea.

But there is something else you should cosider and that is, if you fell in love "at first sight" (for physical appearence only) or you knew your fiance, started liking him and fell in love.

Relationships based on looks don't last. That is a fact. It's the human nature. Relationships have to be based on the whole person to last.

Answer 4

Let me ask you this, because I can relate to your situation 100%. Are you taking anti-depressants? I used to be on them for nearly 9 years before I stopped taking them as of this past January, and I am forever thankful to God that I no longer take them as they made me mentally sick which is a sort of a paradox in a way. The medication caused the following:

1) Loss of lebido
2) Depression caused by the anti-depressants (yes, they caused depression in me because I do not have that condition!!!) , hence, the lack of desire for intimacy toward my spouse....

So, there is nothing wrong with neither you nor him. If you are taking anti-depressants, for a legitimate reason, and not due to a gross mis-diagnosis such was the case with me when I initially went in compaining about insomnia in 1998, then see if there are alternatives. I have heard that Wellbutrin works, but of course, none of that stuff works for me...as they only worked against me (i.e., caused the conditions for which these medications were marketed to treat)

Let me know what's going on if it's the medication, if you are taking any, or something else, like a life-stress issues, such as family, etc.

Answer 5

This has happened to me, too, and I hate it!!! I've wondered the same thing....if there is something wrong with me. I've actually heard this from a lot of women, since. I don't think you should tell him.....that would just hurt his feelings, and he would think it was him. Plus, guys don't get that about girls....because guys are very sexual. Okay, here is a suggestion. When you are by yourself before he comes home, or before you are going to see him, try to get yourself in the mood. Take a bath, pamper yourself, dwell on sexual things or fantasies, or even if you like porn and that turns you on, watch it. Whatever turns you on, dwell on it. When you see him, you should be a little more in the mood. You should then initiate sex while you are in that mood before it "goes away".

Answer 6

You're not alone. I've been with my man for 5 years and I love him to death. But there was one point at which I just wasn't interested in sex. And he's great in bed, but I just didn't look forward to it. So I decided to take matters into my own hands and I wanted to do something that was completely out of the ordinary. So I told him I wanted to do it with him in odd places. And soon we added toys, lotions, edible underwear. Now I enjoy going with him to the sex toy store and we have a great time. Try it.

Answer 7

It looks like you have had it more than enough.. Right now, you just need a little break from sex.. This is the truth.. You still love him but you just need a break because you have overdone. It is boring for you at this point.. Tell him, you just need a break from sexual relationship and I bet you will start missing it! The enjoyment will come back.

Answer 8

Sounds like it's boring to you... You two need to spice things up! Make it alittle interesting. And I would say talk to him about it because it's happens in relationships. See if theres anything he would like to do in bed that you haven't tried or you say hey lets try this. It's normal don't feel bad about it.

Answer 9

you gotta throw some crazy stuff in there, hon and get down and raunchy with him to spice it up! be honest and tell him how you feel and he may just rock your world! watch some porn and play games. also, have you had orgasms in the past? I went years before i started enjoying sex and you have to get in touch with yourself (literally) before you can enjoy it. you may need to experience some hot hot sex to keep it going so watch porn and get ideas.

Answer 10

time to visit your doctor/gynecologist for a checkup. Maybe there's something physical or medically wrong, or that's changed.