Mother tells her child not to play with other boy. Is this unreasonable?

Question

The boy's mother of the "friend" of yesterday's incident of touching, has informed her child that he is no longer allowed to play with this child. It was one incident, the child apologized to both his friend, and child's parent, and now knows what he did was inappropriate. Yet, the mother has banned her child from playing with this boy from now on. Is this unreasonable? Is she being overprotective to immediately assume that this behaviour will occur again?

Answer 1

Children are experimental and touching of all sorts occurs commonly. Most of it is harmless unless the parents go bonkers and over-dramatize the event.

Generally it is advisable to keep an eye on the behavior, but don't overreact because that only creates the "forbidden fruit" effect, making it an even more desireable pursuit. It also might drive the behavior underground -- would you want to know it's happening via open lines of communication, or cause it to be hidden?

Answer 2

It is not unreasonable for a caring parent to tell his child with whom he may or may not associate himself with. There is no guarantee that this will not occur again?
I personally would not permit my child to associate with a child that has shown aberrant behavior. It does not make sense to tell a child someone’s behavior is unacceptable, then continue to allow the child to associate with that person. To do so I believe would confuse the child. It is important for parents to teach their children right from wrong and the consequences thereof. Right and wrong should be taught to a child in black and white terms with no gray areas. Later as the child grows and matures he will be better able to determine on his own what the gray areas are.

Answer 3

I didn't see the other question, but if someone touched my child inappropriately my child wouldn't be allowed to play with that child any more. I don't think that is over reacting. If an adult touched her child inappropriately and then apologized would you still think it was unreasonable for her to not allow her child to be around that adult? It is no different with children.

Answer 4

What kind of incident are we talking about? I can think of some that are forgiveable and are part of normal growing up scenarios, also there are some if you know what i mean which go beyond the norm where a kid might need some professional help. If its the latter i agree with mother if its the former i think the mother is going to far

Answer 5

No this is not unreasonable. I'd do the same. Why take a chance that it will occur again? Why would you want your child to associate with someone like that? You have to teach them when they are young how to pick their friends.

Answer 6

i am not sure i know this story... how old are the boys? there are natural curiosities that happen with both boys and girls... i would say that it is a little out there to not let them play together if they are supervised until everyone is secure... but she is the mama... and it is her child... and at the end of the day she is the one that has to know she did what she could to protect her child from what she thinks is inappropriate.

Answer 7

How old are these children? The course of action needs to be decided upon based upon the age of the children.

Answer 8

May I remind you that children have parents so someone can watch out for them . Mother is in charge.End of story .

Answer 9

I think the mom is right on. Always a chance it could happen again, why risk it? That's why it goes on obviously b/c people give too many second chances.

Answer 10

The mother's in charge, just as it should be.