Breaking up sucks balls..I am hurting sooo bad my chest hurts.?

Question

Breaking up sucks balls..I am hurting sooo bad my chest hurts.?
My bf and I of 4 1/2 years are finally calling it quits. It got to the point where we got physical with each other and it's not healthy. We unfortunately live together for now and I feel like my world is tumbling down. I see him and it is hard to look at him because all I want to do is get back with him. My question to all of you is..We have made many attempts to break up and have had many serious conversations and we end up GETTING BACK TOGETHER..I do not want that to happen. Because we end up on this emotional roller coaster. It will be good 2 weeks and all hell breaks loose the next. Since I live with him how can we survive this break up without going sour. I feel so lost. We also talked about counseling but never followed through it. Is it worth saving a relationship when someone has been unfaithful, lies where they go, or feels like a prisoner.

Answer 1

ice cream......lots of ice cream....

Truthfully thought....sometimes relationships ending is like pulling off a band aid. It is never going to over until you completely cut ties with this person. Get all of your stuff back, give her her stuff back and don't take any of her calls. Otherwise ther ewill always be a reaon to talk and then get back together...

Answer 2

I had an ex that I was with for 4 years. We would break up get back together all the time. And like you we got physical with each other at the end..The fact that your still living together is troubling. YOu shouldn't even have contact with him let alone live with him if you want to get over this relationship. The best thing I ever did was change my cell number so he would have no way to contact me and to lose his cell number so that in those moments of weakness which you'll have when you miss him so much that it hurts, you can't call him..It was for the best it was the only way I could get over him...I suggest you get outta there as fast as you can cause if he's unfaithful you don't need him you can and will do better only when you make that decision to block him from your life. that's the only way you can begin to heal..Trust me please, a year ago I was devestated, depressed and just missed him more than I though anyone could understand.. But he was no good for me our relationship was unhealthy and life's too short to stay with someone who hurts you and makes you feel bad.. Get outta there...Please trust me that's the only way you can move on.. It'll take time but it'll get better and someday you'll meet someone else. He may not be the one either but you'll be better at knowing what kinda relationship you want now that you've suffered through this painful breakup.. I don't see you guys staying apart while living in the same house. and I think that you've made the right decision and you know that you don't wanna stay with him any longer.. Get outta there don't contact him and only then will you begin to move on..

Answer 3

The relaitonship is not worth saving if the person is lying about where they go has been unfaithful or feels like a prisoner holding on to the relationship is the worst thing u can do and if it has gotten physical it's really not healthy. U need to be with someone who loves you and cares about u and i don't know how old u are but u sound young just talk to the person see what's the problem and if they are not willing to communicate dump them like an old tea bag honey cause it is not evern worth it what is the point of being in a relationship when there is nothing to look forward to just ask yourself what u look forward to: do u look forward to see him when u wake up, do u look forward to doing sweet things with that person or anything else just ask yourself what! And I promise you will find the answer immediately! Trust and believe love Acuria!

Answer 4

No this is not a healthy relationship you or she has to move out and why in the world would you want to stay in a relationship like that I went through this for 18 yrs with a guy that I would of died for but he never changed I finally wised up after wasting alot of time and money and unwanted love I realized that I am better than that and being alone wasn't so bad it was kinda relaxing I did not have to worry about what he was doing or who he was doing. I was responsible for me and no one else. So get out while you can and find some one that is worth your love. Get off the roller coaster I did and I am a better person for it cause the longer that I was with him I was a very miserable unstable mean person. Always in a bad mood my family paid for his actions because I took it out on them and they were not the blame.

Answer 5

I know your pain. I was married for 5 years to what I thought was the love of my life. Three months after we married I caught him with another girl. I forgave him and moved on. A few other questionable occurrences happened through the marriage, each I forgave. I never could trust him. It was so bad it would make me physically sick. I finally got to the point where I thought I was crazy.
Long story short, he ended up getting a job that moved us from Texas to Utah, and after borrowing 6 grand from my parents for the move, he left my 3 kids and me for a 19 year old. I was devastated. Crushed for months. Begged for him back, even under the discovery of 7 other affairs that friends were to afraid to tell me about. There is nothing anyone can say or do to take the pain away, but one thing a friend said once that gave me hope was, "Maybe all Derek was, was a layover in Boston on your way to Jamaica." Well, little did I know that was true. I am now married to a man that adores me. I trust him with all of my heart. You want someone who loves you as much as you love them, and cheating is not love.
You need to break ties, and depend on your friends to get you through. Also, psychologically it normally takes a year to get to the acceptance stage of grief, which you are in. It will get better! I promise!

Answer 6

No, it is not worth it...to answer your question. Living together after a break-up is tough, but stick it out. It will get a little easier day by day. Do not force talking to him right now. What you two need is space. You need to create as much space as possible. Go out a bit more if possible. Hang out with friends. Go to a library. Just do whatever it is you can to distract yourself from the current situation. I personally like to rent a BUNCH of movies and watch movies during my entire free time because it forces me not to think about anything else. But enough is enough and it has to end. In 2 months, you'll feel more like you can breathe rather than not.

Answer 7

Me and my b/f of 3 yrs just brokeup too. But we dont live together. the first thing you need to do is move out or have him move out. Get another room mate like a friend or something. Trust me, if u 2 keep going up and down and u actually feel like a prisoner, then just let it go and move on. Think about yourself and be strong. Im so fed up with my b/f breaking up w/ me and then coming back. Like u said, we would b good for like 2 wks and then hes a dick again. I cant do it anymore and you shouldn't either. Believe me i know its hard and i think its such a good step that your strong enough to say u dont want it to end up the same but u have to be strong enough to say NO i've had enough. But u cant stil live w/ him, thats crazy. GOOD LUCK

Answer 8

You need to leave him! There is ABSOLUTELY NO excuse for violence!!!!!!!!!! Do you have any friends or family you can stay with? Tell them what happened. Do not leave out the physical aspects in an attempt to protect him or his reputation. Too many times women return to the men who abuse them. First it is usually mental and verbal abuse then it progresses to physical abuse. There is always a honeymoon period after each break-up when each abuser is very sweet and apologizes for what they did. Then the abused person gives them another chance, and another, and another......... The abuse gets worse and worse usually ending in serious bodily injury. Here are some sites for information:

http://www.divinecaroline.com/browse/body-and-soul/emotional_well_being/abuse/?CMP=KNC-DC_GAW_7&kw=abuse&gclid=CJ_LrPyjio8CFQ9bgAodwlacsw

http://www.virginia.edu/studenthealth/Are%20You%20In%20a%20Cycle%20of%20Abuse.pdf

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/domestic-violence/WO00044

http://www.thewomenscenter.org/content.asp?contentid=172

This is a religous based one:

http://www.namb.net/site/c.9qKILUOzEpH/b.695565/k.ABC0/Breaking_the_Cycle.htm

http://www.transitionhouse.net/what_is_abuse/cycle.php

http://www.mvwcs.com/cycledomesticviolence.html

http://incestabuse.about.com/od/domesticabuse/a/dvcycle.htm

http://www.naplesshelter.org/english/

http://www.thedaily.washington.edu/article/2007/4/13/womenTrappedInACycleOfAbuse

Here are some resources for help. You can always go to a woman's shelter untilyou can find other housing but you need to get away from him!

http://www.naplesshelter.org/english/

http://www.abusedadultresourcecenter.com/donations.htm

http://www.nyawc.org/

http://care.org/getinvolved/women/?source=170740300000&WT.srch=1

http://www.wiit.com/?gclid=CNyxhPKjio8CFSXlgAod3C9LuA

PLEASE LEAVE TODAY! I have seen too many women who do not leave untilit is too late.

Once you leave, make yourself a promise that is a man ever lays a hand on you then he will never see you again. You are too good for that. Respect yourself and keep this promise.

Best of luck. If you need to talk, e-mail me.

Do not forget any type of physical abuse is legally an assault and you can have him arrested. Talk to a counselor at one of the above sites they can tell you what to do.

Answer 9

Is this someone still unfaithful, still lying, and still feels like a prisoner? if yes then, i would have to say maybe it is time to go separate ways. It sounds like there is no respect left in the relationship. Is there no other place you can go for now? counseling could help but you guys need to follow through on it and not give up. good luck

Answer 10

It's always hard to break up with someone. If someone lies to you and degrades you and makes you feel like crap you shouldn't be with them. True love is about making the other person feel like they are on top of the world, to make them be happy and never insecure. Don't let anyone tell you that time will make everything better, because my man and i broke up a year and a half ago and i still cry daily over my heratbreak.

Answer 11

oh, I'm very familiar with the chest pain. If you guys can't make it work over 4 1/2 years, it's never going to work. It's going to hurt for a while. You'll cry a lot. But eventually, it'll get better. Be strong and move out.