I have been dating my boyfriend for almost a year now, I love him, and I think he is great, but the one thing that keeps me from getting as close to him as I would like to is that I have been is that I have been in love with my older brother's best friend for about 5 years. In the past year and a half the two of us have actually become a lot closer than ever before, we have become real close friends instead of just being associated through my brother. I don't know if it's still just my childhood crush, or if I really love him, but it feels so different with him than with my boyfriend, and so much more real. I love my boyfriend, and I don't want to hurt him, but it seems like my real feelings are for my brother's best friend. What is the best way to figure out what is the right thing to do that is fair to both of them?
2007-10-12 09:52:19 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
follow you heart.
2007-10-12 10:00:16 · answer #1 · answered by berlytea 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm going through the EXACT same thing right now. I've been dating my boyfriend for a little over 10 months, but just started to regain feelings for one of my best friends, who I had an enormous crush on about two years ago, before I started dating my current boyfriend. The thing is, my best friend lives far away, but not until recently did I realize that it's actually not THAT far. (About 3.5 hours). So now I realize that a relationship with him is actually possible, but I'm in love with my boyfriend, and would be heartbroken if I broke up with him. We've became entwined in each other's worlds, and it's almost as if we are one person. It's so hard to let go of that. I know if I broke up with my boyfriend, I'd probably just end up going back to him. I dont think I could stay away from him for that long.
My advice to you is this. You KNOW you love your boyfriend, but you only THINK you love your friend. After awhile, the passion of a relationship dims, but that happens with everyone. Try to create a spark with your boyfriend. Explore new worlds sexually, or if you dont want to do that, then have some intensely hot makeout sessions. (I suggest up against a wall, or in a (safe) alley in the middle of the night). If you find that you still love the other guy more, maybe it's time to ask to date other people. Tell him that you care about him and might be considering a future with him, but feel scared and want to experience dating other people before you decide for sure, and encourage him to do the same. The time apart will probably cause you two to go separate ways, but it's not a harsh way to end it. (Me, personally, I'm just going to wait until he graduates in May and goes on to grad school, so I have the distance as my excuse.)
Good luck and I hope you find the man of your dreams!
2007-10-12 17:15:39 · answer #2 · answered by Sarah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go with your feelings, if you like this guy more then you should go with him and tell your current boyfriend that you want to be friends. Make sure you don't tell your current boyfriend the real reason your breaking up or he'll be mad
2007-10-12 16:57:29 · answer #3 · answered by chris j 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stay away from your bros friend u would not wanna mess things up stay with your boyfriend and if anything ever happens to your boyfriend and u consider ur bros friend but not when ur involved
2007-10-12 16:59:26 · answer #4 · answered by Jade Marrie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋