What are some good consequences for a 10-year-old for lying? Not listening?

Answer 1

Ages 9 to 12

Kids in this age group — just as with all ages — can be disciplined with natural consequences. As they mature and request more independence and responsibility, teaching them to deal with the consequences of their behavior is an effective and appropriate method of discipline.

For example, if your fifth grader's homework isn't done homework before bedtime, should you make him or her stay up to do it or even lend a hand yourself? Probably not — you'll miss an opportunity to teach a key life lesson. If homework is incomplete, your child will go to school the next day without it and suffer the resulting bad grade.

It's natural for parents to want to rescue kids from mistakes, but in the long run they do kids a favor by letting them fail sometimes. Kids see what behaving improperly can mean, and will probably not make those mistakes again. However, if your child does not seem to be learning from natural consequences, you should set up your own consequences to help modify the behavior more effectively.

Answer 2

I know this is too much work for most people.

But,.. could you try to get to the reason they are lying?

I have a problem,.. when I was a child I NEVER lied. I didn't see any point to and it's hard. I have learned to lie little by little recently for people's safety. Yet,.. even though I told on myself if I did anything wrong,... and I never lied,.. I was a 'scape goat. Therefore, I always lied as far as anyone was concerned.

Now there were things I choice not to speak about. I did so for personal safety or to save lives. I have been abused alot and people in my mom'd life were far too often criminals.

What happens alot is parents do not have the time to listen to their kids. So in turn,.. What is Listening? Parents constantly lie to children and do not take their wants into consideration... so this is the example adults set for many children. No communication, everything is a lie,.. seemingly self centered. It's a child's perspective as they learn more about the world. At this point I am finding out most people lack Empathy, Sympathy, and a Concious.

It's very hard for you,.. but yes,.. you are the example.

I was very intelligent and even though my mother was being told I was a liar by everyone, she did let me know about her problems. She let me know we couldn't afford things. She let me know her money Burdens. As a result I ended up helping her.

People don't like to hear problems others are haveing,.. because they grew up in places where that was never spoken of. The quickest way to get to someone is tell them about problems that effect them as well.

After all,.. what would you do if your boss told you the company was nearly bankrupt. If you knew you couldn't get another job. You would worry.

I know people won't think this is healthy. But this is true reality.

If you are talking about a 10 year old girl, she has hormones starting to fog her mind and already will have trouble with everything --> EVERYTHING <-- . It's hard for Tweens and Teens to think when this is going on,.. at all,.. about anything. Whatever you say is blocked out,.. it's not even their choice to block it out or not.

Answer 3

That all depends on what you have tried in the past. I have a 10 year old daughter that was lying ALOT.
We tried grounding her, that didn't work very well, counseling, and so on....

I have another daughter who is 15 and has never lied.

Mine have completely different spirits. They are both great kids, just completely different.

I would try really hard to dig to the root of the problem.
It may be something as simple as fear of disappointing you, or may be more difficult like jealousy maybe another sibling or your partner.
Maybe your child just needs more quality time with you.

If you reward your child for not lying and get them to understand the importance of honesty, you should have a pleasant outcome.

Hope This Helps!
Best of Luck.

Answer 4

a lie can be signficant problem or it can be misunderstanding in the communication

listening ... important to comfirm understanding ... ask them to explain what you have said back to them for emphasis then there is no confusion

you can't really police every action ...


i would say ,probably , increasing penalties with offenses ?

1st time , you will write an essay why it is a good idea to tell the truth .. why it is a good idea to listen ... provide 3 examples of each . 5 paragraph style

2nd time, repeat the essay and the loss of computer time , video gaming , cell phone , loss of personal time for 2 hour

3rd time, maybe loss of priveleages for 3 hours

4th time , 4 hours


maybe , in addition to consequences for the negative behavior ... also implement a rewards system for good behavior

when you see the child has told the truth in a matter, reward , that behavior , positive verbal feedback / communication from you . a tangible reward , ice cream treat out , a freind comes over you order pizza for them , let them go to movie , whatever you child enjoys

as adults , we are more motivated by consequences and rewards .. we appreciate leaders that are not nit pickers and apprciate our strengths / weaknesses ...

Answer 5

I would tell your 10 year old that you understand the lying and relate to him a story of when you were that age and told a bit of a lie yourself. Kids don't need their parents beating the crap out of them -- either physically or psychologically. The world is already beating them up as it is. Most parents greatly overplay their hand and it costs them dearly later on. An understanding parent who serves as a mentor is tremendously valuable.

I have a son who is a PhD chemist and a daughter who is a former high school track star and recently graduated from college with honors. Neither was ever spanked, grounded or treated harshly.

Additionally, I was a problem child -- from vandalism to theft to fighting to teenage drinking. My dad was an ex-military man who "demanded" respect and attempted to control me. That never happened and it created friction between us. The interesting thing is that my father had a lot he could have told me had our relationship not been so strained. Unfortunately, we could never talk until I was in my 20s and long since had moved away.

By the way, my daughter once stole a gold coin from me and my son once broke into a neighbor's house. My kids weren't angels. The goal of parenting isn't to have well-behaved kids. The goal is to have your kids become successful adults.

Answer 6

I have found out that you need to take away what is the most valuable think they like. Could be riding his bike, watching tv, playing games. What ever it is they need to do without it for a period of time. You don't make it for real long, but each time he does something wrong, make it a little longer, and if his favorite changes change what you take, or both. The worst could be spending time with you, which he will find out in the long run can be great.

Answer 7

make him or her write an essay why they shouldn't lie, and why they need to listen to thier parents or elders. then give them extra chores, come home write after school, no phone, no tv, no freinds, for at least a week. they do it again then add another week. with no out side life and no tv they are pretty much in jail and miserable you don't need to whoop them to make your point besides that only lasts as long as the pain lasts. as soon as the pain is gone it is over and they will do it again. but stick to your punishment and the only thing they get to see is 4 walls then you will make your point. by the way don't forget to take everything out of their room and put it in yours so as they can not use what they have in their room for pleasure remember this is a grounding from everything they are not supposed to feel good about what they did. you probably will feel miserable too but this has to be done.

Answer 8

For lying, I would say no tv, no video games, no friends over or special trips for 2 weeks.

For not listening, I would say taking away priveledges. However, if you were telling them to do something like their chores then I would do what my mom did to me--double the work. If they don't listen the first time, then they deserve twice the work since you had to tell them twice.

Answer 9

Take away toys, phone privileges, PC and TV. Have a long talk about what is expected. If your child is lying and disrespectful to you, they should not be given certain privileges around the home until they learn to behave.

Answer 10

well what worked for mine since a spanking didn't he just laughed at those (he has ADHD) we figured out the things that meant the most to him at different ages
8-10 was video games & bike
12-14 4-wheeler & phone
15-16 car & friends over
you get the point, you take these things away for a set amount of time, and you find some etxra things for them to do around the house , funny how quick they turn around and learn to do the right thing.